Masculinity is Not Toxic… Be Proud to Be a Man
In recent times, select parts of society and the world will try to tell you that masculinity is toxic and that being a man is evil. Don’t believe any of the nonsense you hear. Masculinity is not toxic and you should be proud to be a man. There is nothing wrong with being a man. In fact, in order for the world to operate and the human species to continue… men are required.
The trouble starts when the notion of being a man goes too far or is misunderstood. There is a natural balance to being masculine and tough…and being open and vulnerable with your partner. Within that balance, you will find your drive and natural ability to express passion.
What is Passion, Anyway?
Before getting too far into this discussion, we first must establish what is meant by the word, “passion.” Passion spans well beyond the sexual and intimate moments shared with your partner. Humans show passion in many ways and for many things. Some men are passionate about cars and trucks. Some men are passionate about computers. Many are passionate about gaming. The list of interests that someone can be passionate about is nearly never ending.
The passion shown for and within these interests and pursuits is vastly important and may even become a part of a person’s personality. If a pull towards anything is felt and you are driven to explore and become a part of it, that is a type of passion. So long as that interest and pursuit of it does not harm anyone else, it is healthy and important to allow yourself to move toward it.
The same is true of a romantic and even sexual type of passion. The pull toward another person, the drive to want to explore and pursuit that person’s affections, and yes, their body, is healthy and important to allow yourself to move toward; so long as it does not become harmful to anyone else. Remember, desire and even lust are natural occurring emotions in the human body. They are triggered by chemical reactions and stimulus. Strangely, humans are the only species that will question their own natural drive and desires. We overthink these things far too often. Even greater than that, humans like to question the desires and natural drive of other humans; even before questioning their own.
Passion in Intimate Moments
Again, recent times have seen the downplay and even attack of many of the traits that are associated with men and sexual desire. Men are being called oversexed and too aggressive. Ironically; these are the traits that men are suppose to have and women are naturally drawn to. Instinct tells women to look for the protector and the provider among the herd. The qualities needed to be these things often include aggressive behavior. Now, starting fights and acting like the “macho man” are not the signs of natural aggression. No. What is natural is the aggression of going after a better life. There is aggression involved with fighting for a better future and fighting for your relationship. Fighting is not always physical. In fact; more often than not the fighting is never physical. That ability and willingness to fight for things and to take charge, can also be found when it is “playtime” with your partner. Most women want that and instinctively expect it.
Causing your partner pain in the bedroom or doing things against her will… these are examples of aggression and masculinity going too far. That is not passion. That is abuse. Lifting her up off her feet while you kiss her out of nowhere, and then carrying her to the bed before either laying her down or even slightly dropping her to the mattress; these are passionate. Pushing her upper body down toward the pillow gently (or not if she wants) while thrusting hard inside from behind her; these are natural and passionate parts of masculinity. Everyone has their own kinks and their turn-ons when it comes to sex. Learning hers and operating within those boundaries is a part of being a man. She wants you to take charge both in and out of the bedroom, just don’t become overbearing or controlling. Be a man… don’t be a jerk.
Far too many people like to point out to the bad element and claim that it is an example of what men are. Not true. Predators, are not men. Abusers, are not men. There is no passion in these types of people. These are traits that are damning regardless of the gender in question. These examples do not represent men. You are not evil or toxic because you share chromosomes with these types of people. There is neither passion in trying to deny your nature or trying to act more feminine in order to please the misinformed section of the population. Be who and what you were meant to be. Be a man. If at all possible… be a great man. Fight hard when life requires it. Love hard in a way that pleases your partner and feeds your instinct. Dream hard. Be proud of being a man. Find a partner is proud that you are a man. Teach your sons how to be a man. Teach your daughters how to tell the difference between a good man and a bad one. Show them all what a great man looks and acts like. Go be you.