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Only Read This If You’re Sexy

It's Science

By laura haydenPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
5

For as long as I can remember, I have loved trivia, all types of odd interesting mostly useless information. I was born in a time before the Internet and Snapple lids when trivial facts and silly informational tidbits were not so readily available. Trivia knowledge was only gleaned by reading the back of cereal boxes and from The Guinness Book of World Records. I implore you to look up how and why The Guinness Book of World Records came to be and how it got its name. Hint, yes it is named after THAT Guinness, there is a Sir Beaver involved and there is a reason why trivia and bars are simpatico. You will forever think of me when you think of any of these things. You are welcome.

My brothers and I would fight for the chance to pour over the pages of The Guinness Book of World Records, because it was interesting and weird. Looking at the pictures was forever a highlight. The man with the world’s longest fingernails was disgusting and fascinating. Wolverine has nothing on him. We would continually try to find a record to break. We tried a few times with records we thought might be easy, but succumbed to the realization that breaking world records is not an easy feat. Not blinking seems easy until you try to do it. The record is 17 minutes. Go ahead try. Let me know how it goes. I’m laughing at you. You will soon learn that 17 minutes is a really long time.

I realize I have already spewed many bits of trivia but they are by no means my favorite. I confess I have many, many favorites. I have been collecting trivia for decades, long before social media, but I credit social media for helping me have an outlet. For over a decade I have been posting trivia twice a day on my feeds. I did this because I like trivia and frankly I don't care that you went to the gym again. Unless something funny happened at the gym, why are you telling me? This way if you read my feed you will at least be edified or entertained or both. Gratefully, it turns out many people enjoy trivia. I have numerous daily comments, and many are quite hilarious. My respondents have grown into a nice group of trivia fans, like myself. They keep me honest and I appreciated this. I try diligently to post only trivia that has been properly vetted.

It does not take a genius to guess what category of trivia is the most popular. If it’s funny, or in some way about sex, or both, it always wins. We are human. We like what we like. Any freshman-marketing student can tell you this, sex sells, and funny helps with cognition. You want people to learn and remember? Teach with humor.

All of this is to prep you for my favorite pieces of trivia. I am a physical therapist, (technically Dr. Laura) and for many reasons, I prefer no one call me that. No, I’m not THAT Dr. Laura. I have spent my entire career learning, studying and treating the human body. FYI it is a far from perfect, yet it truly is a miraculous machine. Thank your body for all the simply astonishing things it does, without even conscious thought. Take blinking, for example, the complicated neuromuscular intricacies of just that act are enough to still blow my mind.

Maybe it’s my upbringing, or my adolescent boy sense of humor, or my fondness for the topic, but human sexuality facts have always caught my interest. And, I have found that I am not alone. People like sex. And maybe like the act itself, one thing builds on another. I have to lay down some ground level information to reach the finale. First, the brain is the largest, most important, and most active sex organ in the body. Sex maybe a physical act that includes thoughts and feelings, but without your brain, you would not experience pleasure. The brain is also primarily responsible for the orgasm. Maybe that is REALLY why the scarecrow wanted a brain so desperately?!?

Most people are aware of their own particular erogenous zones, the body parts that feel extra sensitive and enhances sexual arousal. That’s due to the increase in sensory nerve endings in those areas. This can include the standards areas: lips, tongue, inner thighs, nipples, neck, genitals and maybe a few interesting lesser thought of areas like palms, fingers, the feet, ears and ew gross, armpits. Speaking of ew… In 18th century pre-Victorian Britain, fine ladies often gave their pubic hair to their lover as a sexy little souvenir. I call them screwvoenirs. Yes it’s my own made up word. And the pre-Victorian men would wear it in their hats to give them an extra dash of virile potency. Let’s agree, we collectively do some weird shit with regards to sex.

Ok… likely I’ve built up anticipation long enough. My penultimate favorite factoid is that the clitoris is the only part of the body whose only known purpose is pleasure. I love this for many reasons. First, good for us gals! With all the natural singularly female pain processes; periods, PMS, pregnancy, menopause and bladder infections, it is nice to know nature threw us ladies a bone. And I know, men can get bladder infections too, but it is uncommon due to, yes you guessed it, anatomy. The urethra length is so short in women that it contributes to the increased propensity. The clitoris is the one body part that is just pure frosting with candy confetti, serving no purpose but pleasure. All these centuries of penis envy—when really it should have been clitoris envy.

Flash back a few decades to my neural anatomy class. My teacher was brilliant and eccentric. Neural scientists are always smart because the nervous system is beyond the matrix hard to understand. Neural biology to this day was the hardest class I ever took, and I’ve done A LOT of schooling. My flamboyant instructor on this day started class by stating,

“ Today duckies, I will explain why we have foot fetishes freaks.”

He called all his students duckies, silly and harmless. We all accepted that we were his duckies. What's not to love about an instructor like this, he got our attention, and I have never forgotten this information and his use of alliteration.

Favorite trivia… finally. There is a neurobiological reason for why people have foot fetishes. Let me explain. In your cerebral cortex (part of your brain) awareness of sensations (sight, smell, sound, taste and touch) are individually interpreted. There is a mapping in your brain for every part of your body. Think of humans like trees, we are all trees but the branches vary person to person. In sensory brain mapping, the sensation of touch, for the feet and genitals, sit next to each other. So for some people, the branches have crossed over into the neighbors yard, metaphorically speaking. To them, feet are sexual because of how their brains are wired. While other people hate all things feet. They have a big wall with no nerve cross over.

Now I won’t comment on all the other proclivities people have regarding sexual pleasure. But rest easy my foot fetish freaks, your brain is perfectly normal.

science
5

About the Creator

laura hayden

An over educated blonde in fabulous shoes... but so much more. Comedian, author, podcaster and physical therapist. I can literally talk, write and discuss just about anything but if its funny I'm going to enjoy it so much more. Cheers!

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