My Worst Interview Gone So Wrong
Real story. Most embarrassing moment.
When my interview story makes you laugh, know I’m laughing with you. This story is XXX and absolutely hilarious. I was 20 at the time.
I walked in for an interview at a local pub, or so I thought was a pub. The manager was real friendly, said I would fit the job well, and led me back into the employees area. He was an older guy and sure as hell took his time. Dude was probably drunk, thinking back on it now.
Anyways, it was relatively dark. I figured it being a pub, you know, whatever. So he turns to the left and opens the door to a pretty plain office. Real simple. Like- aight, somethings off here simple. The room was well lit, too, which surprised me.
That was my quick glance inside. What really caught my attention was the sound of some guy getting head. Trust me. It was obvious. Slurp slurp moan “omg” moan slurp - you get it.
At this point, I went with the thought that it’s some people hooking up. Cool, all good. Back room of the pub. I was wrong. If I could go back in time, I would have turned around and applied at the pizza parlor next door- I swear to god.
“Come on in,” he said.
Me, being young and stupid, went with it. You might start to see where this is going, but trust me, it gets so, so much worse. I’m wincing IRL right now. “Do you want my application now, or...” I started to say.
“No, go ahead and get comfortable first. Here, let me take your jacket.”
I had worn a light leather jacket that day, so I took it off then handed it to him. He hung it on a coatrack next to the door.
“ID first, please,” he says, walking over behind the desk.
I slide it over to him after fumbling through my (extra large with so many pockets) purse. I swear it’s a minor bag of holding. Stepping back a few feet, I then sit down on a black leather couch. It looks relatively new. Nice and clean. Fits with the office.
“So, I remember on your application we have you down for casting today. Let’s start with a slow strip, then move into—“
I remember hearing the words anal, pretending to be younger, and facial. Mind. Blown. Okay- being real here, I was 20 at the time. I was horny and loved to fuck. It was that age! But, this guy? Umm, no. Dude was not attractive and honestly had this fucking creep vibe. I should have noped right out of there. Instead, I froze.
“I ummm,” - I remember thinking about what to say. My mind was blank. Part of me wanted to run, but the 20 year old in me wanted to see what the hell was going on.
At 20, I knew about those porno channels. It wasn’t new to me. I never thought I’d be any sort of adult industry anything! I was just a girl in college looking for a part time job to pay the bills.
“I’m not who you think I am,” I said, “I’m Jez. Here for the data entry?”
I swear the guy’s face turned half white, as he finally looked down at my ID. “Yes. That’s right. I apologize. Apparently there was a mix up.”
He walked to the door and grabbed the handle, “right this way, Jez.”
I followed him further down the corridor.
“You know, being 20 and attractive- we always need female talent,” he said, stopping in the hallway. I remember him lighting a cigarette, then offering me one. I passed. “Pay is good.”
My heart jumped a beat. Maybe this was my once in a lifetime chance to be a pornstar! Think again, Jez. Unfortunately, I did not. I opened my big fat mouth, “how good? Is this for that other thing for the other girl?” I tried to skirt around it without saying it aloud, “porn?” I did not manage to skirt around it.
“Yeah,” he replied, taking a drag on his smoke. “You’d make, I dunno, maybe a couple grand a day.”
Right. So my mind was so latched on to this actually being a thing for me, that I went with it. I was in.
“Can you tell me more?” I shouldn’t have asked.
“You strip, suck my dick for a while, then I fuck you. If you want to double down on this, I’d be cool with paying more for anal. See how it goes. We’ll end with a facial then call it a day. So, when’s the last time you were tested? No condoms in porn.”
Little did I know until later, but this guy didn’t actually have another girl coming in for the position. I was the one he was after.
- I’m so sleepy! I‘ll continue my horrendous interview tomorrow! Leave a heart or a little tippity tip tip tip if you liked my story I wrote in bed, just before bed :) time to snuggle my puppies! Xoxo - Jez
PS: All tips from this post will go to my eldest Yorkie- King Rigel Dogmeat the Third. He has no teeth but he is such a good baby!! His eyesight is going, and his smell. But he loves belly rubs, treats, and squeaky toys he can actually hear!
Heart this post if you want more like this! Leave a tip for Rigel if you want!