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My search for a sub part 2

More of the truth

By Lena BaileyPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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So these are more of the stories from my search for a sub. I forgot some stuff and there is more stupid in the world of BDSM. If you have not yet read part one please do so now.

One of the things that I forgot in the original post was that I kept getting these messages from people that were in other states. One guy was so persistence about being my sub even though he lived 3 hours away in another state. I don't want to be with someone who lives more than one hour away. If they are too far away you're basically spending a lot of the relationship traveling instead of enjoying you're relationship.

There's one guy I mentioned in my last posts. He wanted to know if I had any preferences on hobbies or anything having to do with my sub he thought we didn't want the same thing. I later reached out to say we got off on the wrong foot. So he explained that he thought I was being rude. I don't know how asking questions and not having a preference about my sub was being rude. I will call this guy Mr. preference. He also told me how to handle the beginning of a potential relationship. I told Mr. preference that I wasn't trying to be rude, that I wanted to vet who ever I was going to be with and that I felt like he was being a top. He then proceeded to tell me all of this was a red flag and that he wasn't going to interview for someone he didn't know. I answered the one question he asked it may have not have been to his standards but I did answer it and he said asking for verification wasn't unreasonable but guess what he never asked me for verification. Let's just say I was blocked but I really wasn't surprised.

What I learned from Mr. preference is that some men will think of any reason to say no to someone. He wants to verify or vet you but how dare you verify him at the same time. These guys have be burned and will do anything not to be burned again even if it was making a red flag out of nothing. I truly hope men like this heal and get over whoever hurt them. I have no ill will against them I just don't want anything to do with them while they act like this. Maybe one day Mr. preference will unblock me, but I doubt it.

The next person I want to talk about is this guy who reached out to me but was listed as a daddy. So I told him I wasn't interested because he was a daddy. He explained that he was a daddy sub, which isn't really a thing. I tried to explain this to him and he insisted that it was thing. So needless to say I told him no thank you. I have done my research on this and I couldn't find anything on it. Someone in my femdom group found something on it but said it was rare.

There was one other guy that I thought was a little suspicious of. I was contacted by a person claiming to be a guy but then when I went to their profile I saw pictures of someone who appeared to be a woman. I am not closed minded so I asked them if they were trans or why there was pictures of women on his profile and he claimed that this was his friends profile. I do know that this could actually happen but it just feels weird and shady. So I told them no.

So as usual I got a lot of comments which lead to me asking people to message me. So in the midst of this was a guy who was listed as a brat which is fine but he kept commenting even after I told him to message me so I became not interested. Then on the same post I had another guy get into his feelings and not in the good way. This guy had message me and I told him I would think about it. After I told him this I kind of forgot about it and moved on, I was very busy with family stuff and writing. He then took this as my just blowing him off so he decided to call me out on it and so I very sternly told him hey this is not right you could have dealt with this privately instead of making me look bad publicly. I get it people get mad and they are allowed to but he didn't know what was going on. I had a real reason to not message him back and I didn't mean to blow him off.

With a sub I want someone who will understand I have a life and will have conversations with me before just assuming the worst. This lifestyle will not work if people just get in their feelings and not have real conversations. I think that is the main problem in the lifestyle is the communication is lacking and we have really sensitive people who jump to assumptions.

I think it's funny when the subs say that there is no good doms but then they stop communication with what could be a good dom. That's the point I'm at now, I'm looking through and making sure that everyone is answered and if I feel the need to message people and make sure that all is well I will do that. I do get the occasional message but nothing like I got when I first post my ads.

I think that's all for now, there maybe a part 3. In a group I'm in I described this part I'm in as the part where the shark (subs) are circling and waiting to bite so I'm sure it's only a matter of time I have something else to write about.

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About the Creator

Lena Bailey

Georgia born writer. Specializing in dating and true crime

If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]

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