Making Love.

In honour of the month of love I think it’s only befitting I write about love but since I’m a little tired of the subject on relationships let’s focus on the aspect of making love. Sex is my favourite topic to talk about. I can make any normal conversation dirty. That's how you learn about sex and people. I find it educational. I have no shame when it comes to this topic and will discuss anything, anywhere and I don’t care who is listening. People might find me inappropriate at times discussing it so openly, anywhere and with anyone around, such as on the bus with an old lady sitting close by or in the office with the mangers not too far away, but I find it bizarre we don’t talk more openly and freely about the one thing that is constantly on our minds.

I feel abnormal at times, maybe it’s just always on my mind? Yet when I talk to friends and especially guys I realise I am not the only one who thinks about sex all day. Let's get one thing straight, I am not a nymphomaniac. Yes I think about sex a considerable amount and of course, these thoughts do make me horny but I am in full control of my feelings and desires, as we should all be. I am not out every weekend fucking random guys but I am not denying myself this basic human need either. I find it insane that it is more socially acceptable to go months or even years without sex (even in a relationship) rather than enjoying casual sex. Sex is highly beneficial for your physical and mental health and a connection with your partner is very important. I'm not much of a one night stand kind of girl. I've had my moments and it was fun. I would recommend everyone at least once in their life fucks a stranger they met on a night out and will never see again, it builds character but I prefer to get to know a guy a little first. Physical attraction isn't enough to get me hot. The foreplay begins on the date. The flow of a conversation is important, how intelligent you are, if you are flirty and is there sexual energy and a connection between us.

Having sex for the first time with someone new can seem like a big deal and feel extremely awkward, especially if you haven't dated much. Alcohol may help with the awkwardness at the time but not with the regret the following morning. Speaking from experience it is best to not be blacked out drunk. It is very important to be comfortable with your partner even if it is just casual sex or a one-time thing. If you can't hold a conversation with this person how are you going to express what you like and dislike or what you're comfortable with doing? If you are not going to be open and honest the sex will be bad and there is nothing worse than having to go home and finish the job yourself.

I believe one of the best ways to become more comfortable with sex is getting comfortable with yourself. I find it outrageous there are still women in this day and age who don't masturbate, and this statement is based on women admitting this to me not just assumption. It is ridiculous that there is still a huge stigma when it comes to women enjoying sex or having as much casual sex as they want but you can read my rant about this in my post, 'SLUT!'. When I first started masturbating I was fifteen and I felt ashamed at first as it was implemented in my mind that it was a sin. I quickly learned how healthy, beneficial and educational it is pleasuring yourself (thank you, Sex and the City). I learned where I liked to be touched, how quickly I could cum, what movements I enjoyed, my turn-ons and most importantly I gained confidence in my sex appeal.

I have a theory that you first must find yourself sexy and attractive for the sex to have that extra kink. Sex is an escape from our everyday stressful lives and it can be a time we make our fantasies come true. Whether you prefer to play the role of the strong, confident dominant who likes to fuck or the timid, good, submissive who likes to get fucked, you need inner self-confidence to make your role come alive. If you're insecure you lack confidence in your skills or you're worried about the way you look and then you're too into your head instead of giving in 100% to your partner. A great tip I found to help you feel sexy and comfortable with yourself is masturbating in a mirror (Women, lingerie helps to feel sexier). You need to see yourself as a sexual being and what better way to do that then actually seeing yourself. It is a lot of fun playing a porn star now and then.

I'm a believer that porn can be educational. Of course, we have to realise it is not real but that doesn't mean it can't be. When I first started having sex I watched more porn than usual to learn different positions, tricks and skills. Porn can also give us an insight into what we like, want and all about our deepest, darkest fantasies. It might be outrageous or disgusting but we should never feel ashamed of our fantasies. Sometimes this can be just for us to know and enjoy or hopefully most of the time we can find someone just as crazy to share and experience them with. Honestly, I'm more creeped out about the idea of having quiet, boring, missionary intercourse with the lights off rather than the crazy stuff you find on Pornhub.

I believe sex should be fun, nasty, loud, kinky, painful, pleasurable and sometimes the more the merrier. There should be little boundaries when it comes to sex. Being open, honest and experimental is key to a healthy sex life. It is also very important we stay healthy when it comes to sex and use protection or take the necessary precautions needed. I believe our biggest worry when it comes to sex is having an unplanned pregnancy. There are many forms of birth control for women to consider taking such as the pill, coil, bar etc. or using a condom is just as a effective. Condoms are the only thing that will prevent spreading disease or infections but even if you use protection a check-up is mandatory once every 3 to 12 months depending on your sexual activity. I feel like this is something we need to discuss more of and openly. It is never something to feel ashamed of. It is something we should be correctly educated on. I have talked to so many people concerning this who have never been tested or are unaware of basic knowledge when it comes to how easily infections can be caught which is just crazy. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be spread through any form of sexual contact, vaginal, anal and oral sex. A lot of STIs are symptomless so you can go months or years oblivious to carrying one and passing it on and on. Never be afraid to ask your partner if they have had a test. Never be afraid to demand using protection. Never be afraid to say no to sex if you do not feel it is safe. Never be afraid to admit if you have something and feel like you may have passed it on. We live in a world where information lives in devices we carry in our pockets so there should be no excuses to find the right advice. There are also many free clinics so there are no excuses to not get tested.

Practice crazy, amazing, fun, mind-blowing sex but also practice safe sex. Happy belated Valentine's day!