Lucid Cove: Darkside Up Vol.1

"Well hold on now, there is no point in wasting your breath. Let me tell you, how it played out. So, I go make us breakfast, and serve it to him. While he's eating, I let him know that I love him, and that he can tell me anything, right? He stopped eating and looked at me all crazy like he knew I was on some shit. So I just asked him, I asked if he was attracted to the same sex. He screwed his face up all crazy, and said 'no, why would you ask me that?' I reminded him that I too am bisexual, and that his acceptance of that meant a lot to me. He just sat there glaring at me like I slapped him in his money maker; so I handed him the tablet and asked him to explain what that whole kik thing was." Miso let out a chuckle so deep it was almost morbid. "Do you know what he said to me? He literally said 'This is my cousin. He plays too much.'” Miso paused to take another sip of wine. In the corner of her eye Lysa’s stale face and steady gaze influenced her to push on.

“It was hard because I didn't know if I wanted to laugh in his face or cuss him out. How stupid did that shit sound? Also, if that's your cousin, why is he sending you dick pics, and WHY CAN YOU IDENTIFY THEM?" Miso shook her head, a faint smile hung on her lips as she watched Lysa go through the same emotions she went through months before.

"Miso why did you go through that alone? I can hardly....I'm sorry...can I see it for myself? Please?" Lysa held out her hand for the tablet.

"Yeah, sure." Miso gave Lysa the tablet and finished off the bottle. "I'm gonna grab the other bottle and pour you some, okay?" Lysa nodded absentmindedly as she studied the tablet; Miso collected the empty bottle before walking to the kitchen. Jeez, we really are winos. That bottle disappeared quickly.

When Miso returned, Lysa's mouth hung open as she looked through the screenshots. "Miso! Are you serious! Why are you still with him!?" Lysa looked up from the screen, her face contorted with pure disgust.

I'm trying to show him that he can be open with me about his sexuality, if he is indeed bisexual. I mean, he wants a polygamous relationship anyway - that requires all parties be open and honest about what they want. Besides, I'm -”

"Wait. He wants what?” Lysa cut her off, “ Why in the hell am I finding out about all this now? Miso, you were emotionally destroyed as soon as you saw him show interest in another girl! It's obvious that you don't want that. You were always so broken to even hear about him entertaining another...are you really going to sit there and allow that in your face?"

"I..I know, but I love him, and every time I try to leave I just want him anyway. Being with him makes sense... I feel like he is mine, I just have to..."

“Mhmm, go ahead. Go ahead and say 'share him' so you can hear how stupid this sounds."

Miso put her head in her hands, she almost felt defeated. This was the exact conversation she was hoping to avoid, but she knew she needed. She didn't want to face her innermost feelings; she knew she would never be happy watching the man she tried to love for so long, love someone else right in front of her.

"Mi Mi, you know I love you, and I got your back through whatever decision you make. I want you to think about it like this: how will polygamy make you happy, if he can't even make you happy when it's just the two of you?"

"He does make me happy!" Miso retorted.

"Girl please, I heard how you sounded when I called you. It's clear you haven't been able to truly share your happiness with him lately. And, when was the last time you truly created something? You used to write the most amazing stories, with beautiful concepts; where did they go? What are you, not, telling me?"

Miso sighed heavily. "Our sex life is just bland, that's all."

Lysa's eyes widened as she stared at Miso in disbelief. "What?"

"It's bland."

"Did you just hear yourself? Your sex life is bland? Punta, do you remember who you are? Bland? Had this guy been anyone else, you would've dropped him like a hot tamale. I call YOU when I'm looking to try something new in the sheets. Are you really telling me..." Miso was beginning to look distressed, "Okay, okay. Let me breathe. I'm sorry, I just can't believe what I'm hearing. "

"Well if you think that's something, wait till you hear the next part." Lysa picked up her glass, polishing off the remains, she nodded at Miso to continue. "When we have sex, his penis is always soft. He'll want me to ride him, but when I try it bends, and I get nervous that I'll sprain it. I can't feel him inside of me anymore. And you know me! I was still trying out different ways we could make it work, but it seems like our best bet is for him to drop it in me. It's so bad, we started using Viagra just to keep him hard. I don't feel like we're connecting anymore, just fucking for a nut. Exclusively speaking, his."

"That's wild Mi Mi. Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"Of course. He says he's soft and we lack connection because he doesn't feel like I'm into it. I always thought he was soft because he wasn't fully attracted to me, especially after that tablet incident. As far as connection goes? I can feel that he's not there either. We're just bumping bodies."

"MISO!"

"I know, I know."

“You should never feel like that when you're sharing your body with someone. Are you okay?" Lysa moved closer opening her arms to offer Miso a hug.

"I'm..." Miso started to brush off her true emotions, but something in her clicked. Everything that she put herself through in the name of love suddenly proved worthless. She finally admitted to herself that she hasn't been happy for almost a year now. She let herself fall into Lysa's embrace, and cried.

She cried for all the times she violated her own rules of love. She cried for all the times she blindly devoted herself to someone who never did the same, or similar, in return. She cried for the death of her innocent views of love and relationships. She cried because she knew her relationship was over. She cried; and as her tears fell they washed away who she once was. When she dried her eyes, she looked at Lysa with a new air about her.

"There she is." Lysa said, grinning ear to ear, "There's my Mi Mi."

"What would I do without you?" Miso whispered as she caressed the side of Lysa's face.

"I think that's why I'm here. To be a bug in your ear." Lysa leaned in to rest her head against Miso's. "So, what's the plan?"

Miso straightened up, and gave Lysa a somber look, "I'm closing this chapter. Out of respect I'm going to have a discussion with Lucus before I leave. I'm also going to need somewhere to stay for a while."

Lysa rocked from side to side, beaming at Miso. "Mi casa es su casa Mi Mi, no problema."

Miso let out a sigh of relief. It was so nice to have a friend like Lysa on her team, and keeping her in her right mind.