If you’d asked me in my early thirties what it felt like to climax, I would have given a simple answer. It feels good. Then, my world imploded, and in the process I nurtured my sexuality and my self. My vocabulary of pleasure expanded as I gathered experiences, from bold to nuanced, tucking them away for infinite replay.
I didn’t know then that an orgasm is not just an orgasm. The more sex I’ve had, the more exploration I’ve done, the more I’ve discovered how many different types of orgasms are out there. Like a box of fine chocolates, they are delightfully varied: sweet, sharp, sensual, and heavenly, in all different textures and flavors.
The possibilities are endless, from soothing to surprising.
I’ve known my old friend the sleepytime orgasm for many years. For over a decade, my fingers found their way between my folds, my own grown-up bedtime routine. Familiar and comforting, sometimes it’s not even necessary to reach completion to get that sweet, soothing release of oxytocin to send you into dreamland when sleep feels far off.
Clitoral orgasms are like the sleepytime orgasm’s older, more experienced sister, the perfect dessert after a hearty meal. They lead to a definite destination, direct physical stimulation by fingers or tongue leading the way. Rubbing, vibrating, stroking, and circling bring obvious, simple, in-your-face pleasure that makes your toes curl.
The more advanced internal clitoral orgasm is much more bashful, coaxed to the party when the right angle is achieved and the lobes of the much-larger-than-most-people-realize organ are stimulated. When I’m lucky, penetration from a sideways angle brings on these surprising, heavenly tides of satisfaction and moans of don’t move, right there.
The more orgasms I’ve experienced, the more in touch with my body I’ve become.
As the connection and self-love built, orgasms became easier and easier to achieve, and I discovered more and more how varied the quality, intensity, and flavor can be. I cum easily and often, eliciting sounds of pleasure and appreciation from my lovers.
While the clitoris may seem like the main attraction, orgasms aren’t limited to she alone. Vaginal orgasms are a different beast, brought on by motion and physical connection, building up with the repetition of thrusts and clenches. Sometimes, the transition from alone to full brings one on, and sometimes it’s the sudden change from full to empty that does it.
Orgasms brought on by penetration can be surprising and mysterious, the caressing of an elusive spot inside that seems to come and go. These ones build steadily until they peak, and the clenching that follows sometimes banishes my partner right out of me.
Venturing inside can also lead to a meeting with the g-spot orgasm, often with specific angles of penetration or curved toys or fingers, brought on by stroking and tickling that rough, magical little patch on the upper curve of the vagina. They can come on fast or build slowly, and intensity varies with the engorgement of the tissue and how much pleasure has already been given.
Even deeper, hiding within, is the cervical orgasm. The unusual feeling of cervical stimulation isn’t pleasant for everyone. For others, moving past the initial strangeness leads to a subtle buildup to an intense, deep, clenching climax at your very core.
And then there are the advanced ones.
The sexual equivalent of a handcrafted Richart straight from Paris, nuanced, delicious, delightful, and amazing. These are the orgasms brought with skill and expertise, intention, and attention.
With practice, you may meet the orgasm on command. Brought on by nothing but a verbal demand to show him how he makes me feel, they don’t require any physical contact at all. These are the brain-led, mind-fuck orgasms that happen through neural pathways and nerve endings alone, waves of pleasure that travel from my consciousness first, then to my muscles and nerves.
I’ve become well-acquainted with the tsunami orgasm. So wet that when we forget the towels I’m left thinking the bed may never be dry again, they are complete and mindless release. These are the orgasms that leave me sleepy and entirely fulfilled, drained of thoughts and problems, including the ones about how we might have to sleep somewhere else tonight.
If you’re feeling brave, you may be ready for an expedition to meet the mother and goddess of all orgasms. Best coaxed out by pushing past a point you thought was the end, you leave done behind and keep going. Harder, faster, never ending, ignoring the signs that say too much, this orgasm overtakes you until you move in ways you haven’t, make sounds you never knew you could. Sometimes there is laughter and sometimes tears, the feelings are indescribable and words are no longer important or relevant. The earth shatters and rebuilds, and you are at its center.
The iterations are infinite, and searching them out is a game that never has to end.
Petite orgasms are like an amuse bouche, a single bite of dark chocolate melting slowly on your tongue. Tiny earthquakes, rather than stealing your breath they release a satisfied sigh, short and soft and syrup sweet.
On the other end of the spectrum fall the rising tide orgasms, with peaks that recede but never leave you dry. The waves of pleasure ebb and flow, licking with intensity and leaving it almost impossible to tell where one climax ends and another begins.
This isn’t even all of them. There are orgasms from anal penetration, orgasms brought on aurally by whispers and promises of actions to be completed sometime in the future, orgasms reached through nipple stimulation alone, the delicious orgasms only achieved through the marriage of pain and pleasure. Beyond that, there are probably dozens of types I haven’t yet discovered.
If you don’t like one flavor, there’s always another to taste.
The biggest lesson I’ve discovered? People experience sexual pleasure and climax differently, and that’s absolutely okay! If you can’t find one of these types of orgasm, or don’t particularly enjoy it, there are others to go in search of. Whether you’re going solo or with a partner, exploring and coaxing a new type of pleasure can be a delicious and exciting journey. Removing the pressure to achieve a certain type or intensity of orgasm is one of the best ways to get there.
What orgasms have you discovered, enjoyed, or been surprised by?