Life Without Sex. Who Are Asexuals?

ASKEZA AND CELIBATE

It is fundamentally wrong to say that this is a newly emerging phenomenon. Because people who consciously refused sex always existed. Just now they started talking about it openly, as well as about the topic of sex in general.

Take, for example, the records of domestic sexologists, and we will see there a description of such clinical cases since 1965. Let's go further, retrospectively into the history of mankind, and see the following fact.

Among the guests of the monastery were both those who were forced to go there and those who, of their own free will, said goodbye to worldly life. The latter was easy to observe celibacy because they did not have a craving for sex.

The Middle Ages are rich in stories about the killing of the flesh on religious grounds, which indicates a desire to suppress the biological principle. The highest religious officials, strictly regulating the prohibitions on sex at that time, were none other than asexuals. They perceived the healthy sexual attraction of their parishioners as a reproach of their sexual failure.

MATURE RELATIONS

In the present century, there is no need to combat sexuality, circumstances have changed. A person can choose to follow the path of realization of attraction or restrain it. Despite the fact that the phenomena described above differ in the context in which they arose, they are the essence of one nature - relate to delays in psychosexual development and are considered a sexual disorder.

The harmonious sexual development of a person includes a number of stages, where each of the following precedes the previous one and is necessary for the formation of mature sexuality. The most popular concepts for the development of sexuality are psychoanalytic, formulated by Sigmund Freud, as well as the concept of domestic sex therapist Georgy Stepanovich Vasilchenko, who made a tremendous contribution to the development of medical sexology.

Both that and other concepts explain how the formation of mature sexuality occurs, and talk about the characteristic changes in the psyche and sexuality of a person throughout his life. The crown of sexuality is the genital form - this is the mature, adult form of sexuality.

That is the ability, attraction, and success in the implementation of sexual contact with a partner. If for any reason, the staged development of sexuality is impaired, acceleration or retardation of sexual development, as well as the formation of deviation or paraphilia, can occur.

LOCKED LIBIDO

People who call themselves asexuals have immature sexuality. In couples who consciously refuse sex, both partners meet - immature mentally and sexually people, in fact, children. At the same time, the delay in sexuality can be combined with other sexual disorders and can be isolated. Patients, a couple with a virgin marriage lived 12 years before, under pressure from relatives, turned to a sexologist.

It turned out that the husband had erectile dysfunction, and the wife had vaginismus. Independent attempts did not lead to a result, and the couple decided to abandon the sexual activity. In this case, the delay in psychosexual development was combined with sexual disorders in both partners.

An interesting fact is a relationship between blocked libido and aggression. People with delayed sexuality also have difficulty expressing aggression and anger. They block active aggression, do not allow to show such emotions, but passive at least plenty. How to explain this?

Aggression and sexuality are instinctive. Their restraint leads to the transformation of sexuality into aggression, and active aggression - into passive.

Although passive aggression is not so striking and seems safe, there is much more harm from it than from active aggression - heavy unexpressed emotions destroy the body and psyche.

Why is it so hard for asexuals to have sexual intercourse?

Because vaginal contact itself is also an act of aggression. A man penetrates a woman, enters her vagina, takes possession of her. This requires an internal aggressive impulse. A woman wants to fix herself on the penis, wants to absorb it, absorb it. The phenomenon of orgasmic cuffs is also aggressive in nature. The vagina tightly clings to the penis and begins to contract to discharge. This process requires aggression, which is blocked for asexuals.

 DELAY OF PSYCHOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT IS A SENTENCE?

Of course not. Today, medical sexology and psychotherapy have a sufficient arsenal of tools to solve this problem. Treatment depends on the cause of the delay and the duration of the problem and includes reconstructive therapy aimed at the formation and filling of the missing stages of psychosexual development.

In conclusion, I would like to note that in the Middle Ages a person had no choice, he was forced to submit to the despotism of the church. But a modern person has a choice of how to manage his sexuality, and it already depends on him - to suppress his instinctive nature, destroying his libido, or give him a natural way out.