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Let's Talk About Sex

Attitudes towards sexual expression and the next generation.

By Jessie RayPublished 7 years ago 4 min read
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Sexual expression is an extremely personal thing. For example, I don’t mind people knowing I watch porn at all, but I would have to be extremely close to someone for them to know the type of porn I watch, you know? Personally, I think it would be beneficially for the next generation of women if we were all a little more outspoken about our interests and turn-ons, even just with our close friends. I have a good friend who does not masturbate at all and when she first told me I found myself automatically assuming it is because she is in some way repressed. Maybe her female influences in her life should of spoke to her more, or maybe she was taught to repress her desires through her religion. Then I realised how utterly judgmental I was being, it is more than possible that she just does not have the same sex drive as me or the same attitude toward expression. But it did make me wonder, how much of my sensuality has been shaped by my experiences?

Was I so quick to judge my friend because pleasuring yourself has always been so openly spoke about in my house? My Mum let me know that I didn’t need to rely on anyone for satisfaction, she told me multi-million-pound industries were built off the concept of women pleasuring themselves and that there’s an Ann Summers on every UK highstreets. I believe that my mother’s advice has benefitted me in my life and so I want to pass the same onto other young women, even my friends today.

My parents never had to have ‘the talk’ with me either. You know, the birds and the bees, the stork and any other strange and frightening analogies parents use to describe, what I believe t be quite the simple subject, of two people having sex. If I wanted to know something as a child my parents would explain it to me, they believed if I was old enough to ask then I was old enough to know. They would still try to be sensitive to a young mind of Corse, they would never use harsh wording and they would never tell me more than was necessary. As an example, when I was 7 or 8, I asked my mum what it meant to be gay, she told me that some people are born to like people the same gender as them, so they would have a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend. As I grew up and started to explore my own sexuality more I was so grateful for my mother’s honest and simplistic description, it let me know before I even came out that they knew and understood who I was.

I have no doubt that there were multiple other experiences in my life that helped shape my attitude toward the act or sex and sexual expression, the way I spoke with my peers when we were all losing our virginity, the porn I would watch. I also believe some of my past sexual experiences have affected how I feel about sex today, for example, how I lost my virginity, but that’s a story for another day. But I know that nothing has impacted my attitude towards discussing sex more than my parents, they always let me know that there is nothing shameful or secretive about sex and that I could tell them anything. I don’t know if they will ever know how much that helped me, but there were times in my life that I needed to know I had someone to talk to about things that I may of found embarrassing to talk about to my friends. I always had them, with no judgement.

Not to say the conversations were always easy! Coming out is still coming out for any young person, it comes with pain, shame questions. But they passed on to me how important it is to talk. That’s why I feel it is my duty as a woman to speak so openly about all aspects of sex, the kinks, the taboos, everything! So that, if by chance, a young girl can read this and not have to be imprinted by what she might see on some website or hear from some classmate, neither of who could ever take into consideration the delicate place she is in. She can know she has somewhere to go to ask questions.

I apologise for speaking so heavily toward women throughout this, I want you to know that I aim to cater to as many people in life’s great spectrum as possible. It’s just that this was a very personal introduction today. If there is absolutely anything you would like me to discuss or share, please let me know. See you soon, sexies!

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About the Creator

Jessie Ray

I write what I like :)

Please message requests, I will see what I can do.

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