L.S.D. - L-Loving

He used to wear a denim jacket. His name was Asyl, and he smelled like top-shelf whiskey. Every time he hugged a girl, he always made sure to hug them super tightly, so his cologne would stay on them as he was marking them as his. He appeared to be the coolest guy in school. The rest of the gang seemed like a clueless flock of sheep. Everybody looked up to him, his confidence, his way of talking to girls was predatory. He smelled like danger, trouble, and experience.

The year we met was the last year of school for him.

It started with a smile and gaze. I always had attention because of my curves. My fully developed breasts attracted tons of staring in the sea of flat chested girls. I looked like I am 16-17, but I only was 12 years old. Too young for first a blowjob? Well… not for Asyl.

It was raining that day, and I didn't bring an umbrella. He came up to me with a smile and a jacket in his hands. Damn those hands, long fingers with protruding veins.

"Hey, such a beautiful face shouldn't get wet because of the rain," – he said with a dirty hint, which I did not get.

"Please let me walk you towards your bus stop," – said Asyl, with a constant smirk.

At that point, I almost heard a whoosh sound when other girls turned their heads around to look at us. To me, they appeared to be just jealous. From all the girls, he chose me, an 12 years old girl with some perky tits.

"You don't have to. I am not going to melt". – I responded. I wanted to play hard to get.

"I insist. It will be fun" – he did not need my permission. It was a common thing to do – to dominate, navigate the pattern for his benefit, and groom the youth. He immediately put his arm around my waist and pushed me towards the gates.

I didn't resist. Asyl's attention was just a tool for me to gain popularity. The prism of care and attention that I didn't get from my dad, illusion of power - was the only reason I agreed to this affair.

It started all innocent. With that one walk. We talked about school, favorite teachers, family.

I was not physically attracted to him; I don't think that I fully understood sexual attraction at that age. His black eyes pierced me with desire, but all I felt was 'another guy likes me.'

"You don't look at your age. To me, you seem so smart and mature compare to other girls at school" – typical grooming phrase, isn't it? Tell a girl that she is not like the others, and she is yours.

"Yes, you are right. I am not like others", – I replied quickly, I felt different, I liked different things than other girls at my age, and it was so meaningful to me that someone noticed this fact about me.

Despite having a women-like body, I liked simple, even boyish things to do, such as climbing trees, getting cheap candies or ice-cream at the store, drinking soda, playing bandits, and tags with other boys. I wasn’t interested in Spice Girls or Britney Spears. Thanks to my dad, who always treated me like a boy, I grew up being like one. Sometimes it helped me in school, I wasn’t afraid to fight back and stand up for myself, but sometimes it affected me negatively as I wasn’t fully aware of desires that boys might have for the opposite sex.

At that age, my mind mixed up physical affection from some boys, as their motion to be my friends. No red flags, no inner concerns, but it did feel different when I was with Asyl. He treated me like a lady. Not like a boyish comrade. I started liking this new way of communicating with a man.

One day he suggested that I skip the gym so he can show me something special. I agreed, and we ended up being in a school attic. Alone.

To be continued.