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Insanely Powerful Vibrators That Look Nothing Like Vibrators

Because discrete vibrators are way easier to explain away.

By Mackenzie Z. KennedyPublished 7 years ago 4 min read

Everyone masturbates. This is just a fact that we all have to accept. If you're like most other women out there, you probably have a vibrator to help you cross the finish line. Unfortunately, vibrators can be pretty embarrassing if they're discovered by someone.

Thankfully, the sex toy industry has caught onto this issue and has been working on rolling out with a number of hyper-discreet vibes that look nothing like that classic (and obvious) shape. Here are some of the top picks on the internet... and why you'll love loving them.

This rubber ducky is the one who'll make bathtime so much fun—in an adult way, of course. This vibrating rubber duck is discreet enough that no one would think twice if they find it in your shower, and its powerful motor will likely make using the shower head a thing of the past.

Of course, they also have ducky types that are a little bit less discreet and a little bit more adult themed. The bondage duck, for example, probably would tip off a more observant person.

You might not want to give this apple to your teacher... unless you're dating her. This very personal massager is the size of your hand, and has five different vibration patterns you can use by toggling the apple's stem.

And, it has seven different intensity levels to choose from, so if you want to ramp up your pleasure slowly, you absolutely can. Best of all, the motor is relatively silent. No one would suspect a thing!

Cupcakes in the bedroom? Oh, my yes! This cute-as-a-button cupcake vibrator is life-sized, has two different motor speeds, and offers three different pulsation modes to choose from. Its discreet on-off switch is at the bottom of the cup, making it the stealthiest treat outside of the kitchen.

All these adorable food-shaped vibes are great, but not if you're a girl who wants an "O" on the go. This is the beauty of having a vibrator that looks exactly like a nondescript lipstick. You can carry it anywhere, and no one would take a second look at it.

This is a particularly good pick if you do random club hookups and want to get toys involved from time to time. Even club bouncers won't notice it if they search your bag, so adding a little extra spice to your random nightclub hookup will always be a bit easier with this vibe by your side.

This heart will definitely make your heartbeat rise! The Heart Vibe comes with a super-powerful motor that offers 10 different intensities to choose from. All you need to do to switch from speed to speed is give the heart a good squeeze.

Though it's made of medical-grade silicone, this vibe looks nothing like what most people would expect a sex toy to look like. If anything, it looks more like a kawaii paperweight to the untrained eye. Discreet enough to be on your desk, this toy will definitely make your heart throb.

Fans of cute but discreet vibes will love Shiri Zinn's other kawaii creation. This surprisingly large ice cream vibrator comes with 10 different speeds, a special stand that makes it look like home decor, and an adorable music box package.

If you really want to keep things classy and fashionable, the Vesper Necklace is a perfect choice. This ultra-discreet fashion accessory is actually a vibrator in disguise, and has four different speeds. It even has a "pulse mode" for those who need to feel that pulse to reach climax.

The necklace itself is modern and classy enough to pass for daily wear, and can be recharged using the included USB cable. Oh, and it comes in both silver and gold editions, so you don't have to worry about this vibe clashing with your choice of precious metal.

If you're a fan of football, then this miniature vibe will make absolutely no one second-guess what it is. At first glance, it looks like a cute key chain—just like one a footballer would have. Though it only has one single setting, this spunky little vibe packs a powerful punch, and can be used both internally and externally. Scoring has never been more fun.

Sometimes, a small lipstick doesn't really get the job done. If you need to go deeper or get a little more texture, the MySecret Vibrating Mascara toy is a much better option. Much like having your own faux lipstick, having a tube of mascara will not make anyone think twice.

Also like the vibrating lipstick, this mascara also has four speeds, including one pulsator speed. Keeping your love life travel-friendly has never looked this good... or this convincing.

This phone won't take any calls, but it will take you where you want to go. This super-discreet faux flip-phone is lightweight, silent, and comes with two different speeds. This vibrator is awesome because you don't even need a purse to haul it around. A pocket suffices, and no one will give you a second look if it accidentally vibrates.

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About the Creator

Mackenzie Z. Kennedy

Socialite and dating guru Mackenzie Kennedy knows all about the inner workings of people and society as a whole. It's not only her lifestyle - it's her passion. She lives in Hoboken with her pet dogs, Cassie and Callie.

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