Innocence Surrendered 2: Broken Condom

For the rest of the evening, Jan wondered whether or not her family could tell just by looking at her what she and Ilya had done. Her parents and siblings treated her the same as they always had, but she still wondered whether they sensed something different about her but just didn't let on.

She looked at Miranda, who'd now been dating Willard Lowell for several months, and wondered whether or not they'd done the same thing she and Ilya had just done yet. Miranda had never said anything about it, and of course Jan would never dare bring to up something that personal with her older sister.

When Jan got undressed for her shower that night, she saw that there was blood on her underwear. Hurriedly she washed the underwear out by hand in the sink, wadded it into a ball, and shoved it to the bottom of the clothes hamper. She was terrified that her mother would see it and guess what had happened.

Ilya called her that night.

"Hello, sweet Jan," he said.

"Hi. What's up?"

"I am calling you because I miss your voice and want to hear it again. I miss you, Jan."

"Oh, Ilya, you're so sweet! I miss you, too."

"So did you have a good afternoon, then?"

"Sure, it was all right. Everything's about the same as it always is around here."

"Well, I will see you at school on Monday, Jan. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She daydreamed about Ilya, about the soft touch of his lips on hers, his hands all over her body, for most of her first few classes Monday morning, ruminating about the night they'd spent together, finding herself at times barely able to listen and take notes.

Ilya greeted her more warmly than ever before at lunchtime, and she was happier than ever to see him as well.

"I have an idea," he told her. "How about if I take you to school every morning and then back home every evening. That way, we get to see more of each other every day."

"But that's a bit out of your way," Jan reminded him.

"That is all right. I am happy to drive a few extra miles every day if it means I get to see more of my lovely Jan." Touched, Jan hugged him and kissed his cheek.

He came for her at the end of her last class and drove her home, as he'd suggested. As Jan had suspected, Miranda didn't mind driving home by herself at all.

"Coach Reeves is going to be home all this weekend, isn't he?" Jan asked Ilya on Thursday.

"Yes, but it is all right. My friend, James Hathaway, has a garden shed in his back yard. It is the same shed I hid in when I decided to defect. James said you and I can use it to be together in all we want. It is not quite as comfortable as Coach Reeves' living room, but there is a cot with a mattress."

"You told James what we did?" Jan turned away, angry tears filling her eyes.

"Please, Jan." He touched her arm gently. "It is not what you think. I did not brag about it, like it is a conquest I made. I only told him that we need a place where we can be alone, and he offered the shed."

"Oh, OK," said Jan. "Well, that was nice of him."

That Friday night, after the usual dinner and movie, Ilya asked Jan if she wanted to go to the shed. She smiled mischievously, laid her hand on his upper thigh, and let it drift to his crotch, where she felt a flutter. Ilya grinned and drove to the shed.

"I am sorry there is no radio," he said as he led her through James Hathaway's back yard.

"That's all right," she told him.

Inside the shed was a candle, which Ilya lit. By candlelight he and Jan began to kiss and caress. She lifted his t-shirt over his head and off, and he did the same with hers. Next he unfastened her bra and let it fall, and then they each unfastened one another's pants.

They caressed and explored much more leisurely this time, the former sense of urgency having given way to a desire to have their mutual curiosity fully sated.

This time there was no pain at all for Jan, and it lasted much longer as well, giving her a more enjoyable experience than before. However, when he withdrew from her, Ilya's face bore an expression of dismay.

"It broke," he said softly. "I am so sorry, Jan."

"Oh, no," Jan said, feeling her heart plummet. "What are we gonna do?"

"I do not know." Ilya began to pace back and forth. "I am so sorry. I did not mean for that to happen."

"Of course you didn't." Jan thought for a minute. "Maybe I could just douche. That would clean me out inside, and then nothing would happen."

"That sounds like good idea." Ilya looked visibly relieved. "I will take you to the drug store right now."