I'm All Aces

Disclaimer: This is my personal account of my sexuality and my experiences being an asexual person. Your story and journey of being asexual may look different than mine, and that's totally fine! Your story is valid and beautiful.

I'm asexual. It took me a long time to come to that realization. Some people come to the realization of their own sexuality rather quickly; others (like me) take longer to catch on to the idea.

Asexual means I don't experience sexual attraction to others. There isn't anything wrong with my libido or my hormones (if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that). And if you ask me if I'm asexual because I've been traumatized in some way, I will break your pinkie toe (probably both of them, because that's deeply personal and you just don't ask people that).

And yes, I've had sex before. Multiple times with a variety of people, so my being asexual is not due to the fact I haven't tried it or that I'm secretly gay. And, now that I've reached the point in my life where I have come to terms with my sexuality and am more comfortable with myself, the idea of of having sex again doesn't appeal to me, and, looking back, I never really enjoyed any of the sex I did have with anyone I used to be with.

I'm not a prude though. I think sex is a beautiful thing some people (even sex positive asexuals) enjoy, and I'm the queen of innuendos! But jokes are jokes and the idea of me, myself, actually engaging in sex makes me very uncomfortable (I guess you'd consider me a sex-repulsed asexual). Even kissing (and anything with tongue involved is a big nope) longer than a few seconds makes me uncomfortable! This is why I tend to follow up most of my jokes with "jk I'm Ace" now (because some people take jokes too seriously). Like, am I supposed to recite a disclaimer before each joke? I feel like that would ruin the punchline… I've literally been "propositioned" right after talking about my asexuality. Seriously, people, I know you're thirsty and I'm pretty, but, please, get out of my dms.

And I'm not boring! I've been called boring before, which is ridiculous! I'm the most interesting person I know! I'm not boring because I do not enjoy something. There are plenty of things I do enjoy. I enjoy companionship. I love a good hug and a platonic cuddle. I love a peck on the cheek. I love having my hair played with. Holding hands is really cool with me! I could sit and talk about The Office or the meaning of life for hours. I write about what I'm passionate about and hope what I write helps people who need to read it. And I play Skyrim, obsessively. I love The Elder Scrolls games! I enjoy spending time with a friend or partner on the couch, watching Disney movies. I enjoy a lot of things in life. So, no, I don't think I'm boring because I won't make out with you.

I'm still continuing my journey of self-discovery every single day in terms of my romantic orientation and what I'm comfortable with in that aspect of life. But, for now, I am perfectly content with my life the way it is now. So, be kind to your local asexual. Don't ask weird and intrusive questions you wouldn't ask anyone else. If you get the urge to say any of the things above that are rude and annoying, don't do that! Resist the urge! Don't be rude and annoying! The LGBTQ+ community is full of variety, and asexuality belongs there.