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How to: Tell if Someone is Flirting with You

The comprehensive (in)correct guide

By CorwynnaPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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How to: Tell if Someone is Flirting with You
Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

Flirting is a mystic art that befuddles the senses and dances just out of view when you try to get a good look. Confusion reigns on its purple misted battlefield and the bystander casualties mount higher everyday. Missed connections are the least of it. Skip the mess; follow these simple steps to figure out whether a friend is shooting unacknowledged flirts at your oblivious face.

1. Assess their body language!

The first and most obvious thing to do is stare intently at your friend's body. Let's work our way from the ground up in a completely subtle slow scan.

People tend to point their feet the direction they want to go. You can judge whether they're invested in the conversation or wanting to walk away. Are all ten toes picking you out of the crowd? Or are they aiming at an exit? If they're aimed at you, we'll continue up to your friend's legs.

Crossed legs tend to be defensive. However, if your friend is wearing a dress or the room is cold, they might have their legs crossed for comfort. Similarly, if they're worried about flirting with you, they may not feel entirely comfortable! Context matters.

Now, to the waist. Hmm. Yes. That is a waist. Moving on.

If your friend is leaning towards you while they speak, that is a good sign. Leaning back or away is a sign of disinterest, but can also show that your friend is tired or relaxed. Did they just get out of work? Is their work a soul-crushing grind that will wear away their very humanity in the course of their time under the yoke of capitalism? They might just be tired. Again, context is important!

High shoulders indicate tension, as do clasped or fisted hands. Not very conducive for a flirty situation. On the other hand, easy, smooth gestures, or fast, excited ones at least may mean your friend is at ease or happy to be talking with you. Tight, violent gestures like hitting the table or cutting a hand through the air like an umpire mean you should probably stop staring at them unblinkingly and pay attention; they might want to vent.

But what is a flirty gesture?

2. Get Handsy (By Looking at Their Hands)!

A few obscure signals someone may use to flirt with you are as follows.

Some may raise two fingers in front of their mouths, separating the fingers and sticking their tongue out between them. Our scholars have determined that this gesture is a romantic one that conveys the user's desire to speak with you for at least two hours. Hence, the fingers and the tongue.

Taking one finger and inserting it into a ring of two other fingers is surely a gesture to be reckoned with! Look out if your friend uses this one - it means they want to put a ring on it! Commitment may be more than you're looking for when you're just trying to find out if they're flirting with you. Take some time to think it over.

There's a good chance your friend is flirting with you if their hands end up touching anywhere below your waist for any extended period of time. Of course, sometimes they just want to helpfully fix your buttons. True friendship can be confusing!

3. Micro-analyze Their Tone!

Where does their voice go on this verbal journey? Women tend to pitch their voices higher and men tend to pitch their voices lower when they attempt to flirt, especially heterosexual men and women. However, some people are learning the power of the lower toned flirt, so be careful your friend isn't slipping their flirt right by you if you're looking for the wrong octave! Take more than one clue into account!

Multitoned voices are a strong sign your friend is flirting with you, especially if they begin to rise into the air and the lights flicker and grow dim. They've set the mood; you just need to rise to the occasion!

Conversely, if their voice becomes small and quiet, it's unlikely your friend is flirting with you. In fact, they may be slightly upset. Listen harder to their actual words next outing and spend less of your time staring silently while they try to talk.

4. Word Choice is Key!

There are some words that can signify your friend is definitely not flirting with you. Let's list a few!

Slimy. Dreck. Fracking. Gross. Maladies. Plague. Corporate interests. Smelly. Ew. Grunge. Moist. Finances. Hydrocortisone. Hacking. Phlegm. Bedpan. Artisanal doilies. Barbell. R̵̺̈́͐̆̆̓̈́̑͑̍̏̚͠͝͝a̷͖̻̩̫͓̺̮̙̣̼̳̳͒̈̏̑̈́͠ĝ̶͚͎̤͕̞̜̖̘͔̪̉̃͒̎n̴̡̪̖̒ǎ̵̳̺̝̩̝̠̣͎̤̖̟̝͇̹̿͒̃̔̋̋̈̌͜ȑ̷̹̭̺̭͚̮̓̍̐̚ǒ̴̦̯͔̖͈̪͇̺͖̤͆͘̚͜k̶̢̫̤̫͙͓̩̞̲̇̃̇̃͛͒͋̊ͅ'̶̲̫͖̗̥̔͊̿s̴̨̜̥̳͉͒̿̿̇͊ ̵̺̆̐̚̚w̷̝̤̖̞̘̝̌̀̒ơ̵̪̑̓̑̆̓̏͋͑͋̓͠ŗ̷̨̬̱̯̬̺̲̖̳̰͖̎̓͑͛̂͛̔̑̋̆̀̆ş̶̖͎̺̹̼̝͕̻̝̻͕̮͎̓̀̈́̃͌̐̓͐͑̉̏͝t̴̳̘̒̀͠ ̶̧̱̲͎̗͇͑ń̶̢̳̱̇͊̓̂̈́̀͒̎͘͝i̴̢̻̿͊g̸̢̧̩̯̬̬̼̠̞͇̔̆͗̀̂͘͘͝h̴̨̡̙̳͖͇̝̞͚̰̱̞͊̌́͐̍̾̓̏̊̃̍͗͒ţ̴͍̬̩̙̹͂̒̾̽͊̂̑̾͜͝͠͠m̴̧̢̟̝̠̝̺̥͎͓̟͍͎̰̼̈̃̽̇̌̈́̏̕͝a̸̡̧̨̱̖̺̰̯̦̓̾̀̄͜r̵̡̛̛̻̙͕̠̭̦͕̝͔͕̱̤̓͆̄́͗͐ͅe̶̙̬̖̗̲̯̯̼̹̙͇̼̳̱͖̊̑ Diarrhea.

Any one of these words indicates an 80% chance your friend is not in a flirty mood. A confluence of them means they're having a really horrible week!

Maybe you should pay for their meal today if they've used more than five!

Other phrases show subtle interest on your friend's part. Let's break down some examples.

"Want to show me your bedroom ceiling?"

This indicates they want to be included in an intimate activity in your bedroom which would involve them looking up at your ceiling - falling asleep together! Likely a flirt.

"Your pants look great tonight! I'd love to get in them!"

This one is a little difficult. At first glance, it appears they are trying to ask if they can borrow your pants, which is could be a purely platonic favor. However, this also indicates your friend wants to steal your clothes! This is a common hobby between romantic partners. Probably a flirt!

"Look, this is starting to get ridiculous. Do you want to sit on my face or not?"

At this point, you can probably analyze word choice like an expert! What do you think this example means? (And can you please tell me, I'm getting a little worried about this one).

5. Use Your Words!

In the end, flirting is a mysterious and confusing minefield. Best to avoid it altogether by simply asking your friend what their intention is! Making your relationship clear is key to keeping things happy and healthy. Most people can't tell a compliment from a flirt, anyway.

Just ask!

comedy
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About the Creator

Corwynna

I'm a 28 year old writer and biologist with a million hobbies and enough passion for all of them!

Explore my music, stories, and homebrew on my site:

https://sites.google.com/view/corwynnascorner/home

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