How to Quietly Masturbate

Two years ago, I shared a house with a flatmate for a while. Being an introvert and not a people’s person, it was a hard decision to make, but a necessary one. For me, sharing a house had only two advantages: my expenses decreased immensely, and, because my flatmate worked from home, my dog was never alone.

But the disadvantages of sharing a house were too many. One of them was that I couldn’t masturbate at ease.

When I masturbated, I worried my (male) flatmate could hear my vibrator or any of my sex sounds. My flatmate and I weren’t friends, so him knowing when I masturbate would be awkward for me (it’s not like we would make a joke out of it.)

I’m straightforward about sex, and I have no problems talking about it — I do it with my friends —, but when masturbating, I enjoy having full privacy. Unless I’m having a mutual masturbation time with my partner.

From the time I had a flatmate, I learned a few tricks on how to masturbate quietly. So, if you share a house or have visitors and need to be in control of your masturbation sounds, here are some tips for you to keep it discreet:

How to masturbate quietly

There should be absolutely no shame around masturbation or any sexual topic, but I prefer to enjoy this self-care moment discreetly.

If you’re comfortable with the idea of your flatmate or guests knowing when you masturbate, that’s great! But to keep it less public, I’d recommend talking to them, asking to turn the TV or music on, so they also have a soundproof room.

If, like me, you prefer to maintain your masturbation sessions in secrecy, here are the techniques I used:

Choose your time wisely

As I said, my flatmate worked from home, so he rarely left the house; making my solo sex life more complicated.

Often, when the mood to masturbate kicked, I wanted to do it immediately, so I used a few tricks. However, most of the times, I chose my masturbation session for when I know I can be fully relaxed.

After breakfast and dinner, my flatmate took his dog for a walk, so this was the time where I often masturbated. Also, at night he liked to watch a movie in the living room, which was opposite to my bedroom, on the lower floor. Hardly he would hear anything coming from my bedroom, so it was the perfect timing for self-pleasure.

To ensure you masturbate as privately as possible, choose your timing wisely.

You might prefer to wait until your flatmate or guests fall asleep, or you can wait to be alone in the house. Either way, timing is essential.

Masturbate in the shower

Shower sex is delicious, and in this case, it has the advantage to muffle your sex sounds. Even if you’re using a noisy waterproof sex toy, the running water will protect your privacy.

Besides soundproofing the room, masturbating in the shower is incredibly sexy: you are naked, exposed, the water running down your body stimulates your senses; it arouses you. Sex shower it’s always a splendid choice.

A bath is also a good option — I love to masturbate during a relaxing bath — but there will be no running water to camouflage your sex sounds, so I’d recommend taking a speaker with you and turn on the music.

Lie on your stomach

When I’m home alone, I like to masturbate in my armchair, having my legs supported in the footstool. I also love to lie on my back in the bed, legs spread open while stimulating my erogenous areas. However, these are not the best positions to have if you need a muted masturbation session.

The best option you have for quiet solo sex is to lie in your stomach. If you have a noisy vibrator, cover yourself with a heavy duvet, it will muffle the sound.

Either using your hands or sex toys, being on your stomach will create a soundproof layer, having both your body and the covers over you. Also, having a pillow near your head will guarantee your sounds won’t come out of the room.

Pick a quiet sex toy

Every time I choose a new sex toy, I read the reviews. One specificity I particularly pay attention it’s how noisy it is.

Living in a shared house, you might want to consider buying dildos or quiet vibrators. I usually used the magic wand and a bullet vibrator, they are fairly silent.

If I was in the mood of a strong setting from my wand, I knew the vibration could pass through the floor (my flatmate’s bedroom was right below mine), so I'd put a pillow under my pelvic area for extra soundproofing.

Use a Pillow

When you feel you’re about to reach the big O, and you worry it’s going to be a noisy one, use the pillow as a buffer: bite it or simply bury your face in it.

Also, you can muffle the vibrator’s sound if you place it on a pillow and rub yourself into it.

Play Music

Having background noise will help to disguise moans and groans. This was always my option.

Also, if I chose to masturbate watching porn, I'd do it with headphones, so while music was blasting in my bedroom, I was enjoying a delicious masturbation time, watching and listening to hot porn.

******

In conclusion

Masturbating is as natural as breathing or eating: it’s a self-care act, that you should have as much as possible.

If you’re in the mood, you shouldn’t let the fact you’re not home alone to deprive you of masturbating. As you saw in this piece, there are ways to protect your privacy. Besides the techniques I’ve suggested, I also say: relax!

If you’re constantly worried if someone will hear you, you won’t be focused on your pleasure, on yourself — and that is what masturbation is all about.

Relax, breathe in and out, mindfully. Enjoy your masturbation moment.

And if you’re caught, remember: masturbation is an intimate act, but it’s a natural one; it doesn’t have to be a secret and never — but never! — be an object of shaming or disruption. Talk openly about it, own it!

© 2021 Emma London. All Rights Reserved