How having an orgy changed my life- and how it can change yours too.

Imagine a 12 years old girl who constantly tries to masturbate through her trousers, in class, at school, at home, on the floor, with her foot, with table legs, with slightly older and ugly friends, watching drawings of hentai girls that she discovered through playing a puzzle online.

Yes, that used to be me. Even before I came out as bisexual. And my first time was when I was 18, so a bit of time has passed from my young highly sexual phase. I then quickly started sleeping around and having fun with anyone that peeked my curiosity or interest, anyone that dared to kiss me right and anyone that made me laugh out loud or challenged the way I thought. What I discovered after reflecting on my experiences was pretty amusing.

For instance, I realised that most men I slept with did not satisfy me. I'm talking about a high percentage of a two digit number, something between 80% and 70% (some experiences are less memorable than others but I do not want to dismiss them basing my judgement only on my flawed memory). Secondly, the best experiences I had were those three lucky times I had orgies.

I'm just here to shock and suck cock -Yvie Oddly

Of course darling, I came more than once. Of course darling, I was high as fuck. Of course darling, I will never tell this to my family (and some close minded friends). The sexual act was amazing. If you think of sex as the act of penis penetration only and want to only perceive this story as an 'experience', an 'adventure' a 'freaky-fetish' stop reading now. I am not talking details of size, sexual practices like double penetration or using sex toys. I am reflecting on the holistic experience of sharing my body with more than one individual and the connection we had, because let's face it: sex simply is better when sharing a connection with someone.

This is a reflection on the mystic power of sex and how it can revolutionise your life. It can inspire you to love better. It help with your selflessness. It can give you great stories to embarrass your grandchildren one day. It could be the ultimate 'fuck you' to your strict catholic family.

First thing firsts. This revelation happened during the act. I killed my own desires during the act and I never felt more free. The most gratification I ever experienced was from this type of 'ego death', where the only drive was for me to please the others and imagine living in their bodies and trying to understand them fully. Ego death is beneficial for many reasons, including being able to 'see with the other eye' your bare humanity and realise its flaws and perks. During conventional intercourse, I often only think of myself and the other partner, and this dual focus makes me worry too much about reaching pleasure and the other connecting to my body like I am connecting to theirs. During orgies, I kept shifting and moving according to what the others were expressing and it made me feel like we are all one being, longing for connection with the rest of us. I literally lived in one of the episodes of Sense8.

How would you feel to see up close and try to please a body that belongs to your gender? Unless you are transgender, probably really good. This came really as a surprise to me because I thought seeing a 'perfect' feminine body up-close would make me hate my own 'flawed' body even more, being that society conditioned me and other women to compare ourselves and not support ourselves and our differences. Instead of putting myself down, I felt capable of extending that love I showed them through my physical body to myself and my body, part of the same family of female bodies, even if really different. In a society where capitalism benefits from female insecurities and lack of self love who buy to make themselves feel more 'part of the group' and to resemble the 'ideal woman' on social media, it is important to show women there can be love right now, that they are living in their perfect functional and beautiful body. If you are a man reading this, don't worry, you are more likely to be loved despite the way you look.

The last thing I learnt from having orgies was to be able to understand that all my life I had it in me to give love to two people. I was able to explore polyamory, which is the consensual love shared with more than one person. Now, I understand most people are sceptical about anything that is not monogamous. They might use arguments such as fearing of losing their partner, jealousy and insecurity. From my research I discovered that polyamory has been present in America from the 18th century.

The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2012 has compared in a series of surveys with monogamous and non-monogamous couples that poly- couples actually are more likely to practice safe sex, show more personal independence, are better at communicating and are better at understanding and practising personal boundaries. Moreover, this study surprisingly suggests that poly- couples are less jealous than monogamous couples! Recently sex therapists and Ted Talker Esther Perel defined polyamory as "the modern recreation of a community that we have lost".

Do not take me wrong, I am very open minded, I come from a poor background, I have travelled since I was months old to other countries which makes me more open to diverse experiences. I do not think polyamory is for everyone to try or to experience, it is very good to be in whatever type of relationship you desire to be, but I believe the other benefits of orgies can be experienced by other people, and maybe you reader can too now.