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How Early Is Too Early?

Teenagers. Sex. When's the right time?

By Not In UsePublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Every parent to teenagers since the dawn of time.

Sex is something that is on every teenagers mind. But how early is too early to start experimenting?

I was 14 myself.

Picture this. 5'1, ninth grade, unsure and unconfident me. At a party full of people I don't know. A girls older brother (he's not even a high school student, mind you) comes to talk to me. We hit it off, we find a room that's unoccupied and he takes my virginity.

I never regretted this, not really. I'd always had a dismissive attitude toward sex, and it didn't bother me that I lost my virginity to an older boy I barely knew.

I have friends myself, in my 20s now, that are still virgins. I have friends who were my age, or younger, when they lost their virginity.

So, the question remains: how early is too early?

Legal age, according to location, is an obvious way to dictate when a teenager should start having sex. But every place has a different age of consent, and an age that the law provides shouldn't be a factor.

So what should be reasoning behind having sex? When is the time to have sex?

  1. When you’re ready. Don't let someone force you when you're not ready. If you're a kid, an adolescent, a young teenager, or even an adult who's a virgin, don't let someone pressure you into losing your virginity. If it feels right, it feels right. If it doesn't, it doesn't, and you shouldn't let someone else make you feel inadequate for keeping your virginity.
  2. Safety. When you know for sure you’re safe - be it getting tests done for STI’s, buying condoms, using birth control, having the morning after pill (as a last resort, please don’t rely on this) at the ready in case of an emergency. The number one thing as a teenager experimenting sexually is to be safe. And that also goes for researching how to have different sorts of sex safely - such as gay sex, google and take the proper precautions as to not catch anything or get injured, etc.
  3. Being at the right place mentally. For some people, especially young people, sex is a huge thing for them. While I personally can’t relate to this, a lot of people, specifically teens, are super emotionally invested in sex. Don’t start having sex if you’re not mentally ready. If you’re going through a rough time, don’t. You’ll resent the person you lost your virginity to, and you’ll resent yourself as well. Your mental health is more important than a few minutes (let’s be real, teens) of pleasure and gratification.
  4. Pacing. I cannot stress this enough; go at your own pace! You wanna wait ‘till you’re a senior? Wait ‘till you’re a senior. You want to lose it at junior prom? Lose it at junior prom. You want to wait until you’re of legal age and graduated high school? Do it then too! Go at your own pace, and much like I said before, don’t let someone else force you or make you believe that you need to lose it before you’re ready.

Sex is a powerful thing. So powerful, in fact, that it’s all teenagers think about. And I know it’s very hit or miss to have the proper education, so please, before having sex for the first time, especially if you’re young and think you’re ready, do research. Ask a councillor, an older sister, the Internet.

Don’t go into it blind. Don’t be pressured. Don’t feel like you have to do it just because everyone else is (because I guarantee you, most people at your age aren’t).

I guess the answer to my original question is complicated: there is no too early or too late. It really all depends on the person, and when they themselves feel ready. Don’t let people dictate your readiness.

(And, of course, be safe kids).

advice
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About the Creator

Not In Use

broke law student who just likes to write on her time off x

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