His Little Plaything
Thinking that I can go along with this is the biggest joke I've heard
I've always been one for adventure and to try everything once because you never know if you'll like it or not. Well, the human being that came into my life 3 months ago was someone I wanted to try over and over again. Most know of the terms Dominant and Submissive but if you haven't then I shall explain.
A dominant is someone who physically, mentally, and usually emotionally dominates over his/her partner who is called the submissive. The submissive basically gives up the power in the relationship because, in my case, needs to not be in control of everything all the damn time. I love this type of relationship because I am the definition of a submissive, I cannot be the one to initiate things in a relationship because I give full control to my partner in which they choose what happens in and out of the bedroom, usually. There will be times when I want to be in control but those are few and far between.
Anyway, this human that we shall call Dan, barged into my life like his ass was on fire and he needed me to put it out; instead he caught me on fire and I'm in a blaze of flames that are keeping me from going anywhere or saying anything about certain things he does. You know that feeling when you feel like you are stuck because god damn do they rock your world but they do stuff that annoys you to no end as well. That's our relationship.
Dan is the sweetest guy. He buys me breakfast, lunch and dinner when we get together and treats me like a man should. He has gone out of his way to make me feel special and appreciated when I'm down on myself. He has bought me so many things like a fan for my room (because he gets hot), gift cards for me to get lunch at work because I am not financially secure at the moment. Hell he even paid for my nipple piercings as a birthday gift even though we got them done in Cincinnati, which was where he took me a weekend getaway for my birthday and paid for everything.
But sometimes I can't help but wonder if he's doing this out of the goodness of his heart or because its a tactic to get me to stay with him. Don't get me wrong I can't see him as that kind of person but I think he's notice that I've been slowly pulling away and trying to distance myself because of the shit he does. But its been non-stop affection for the past couple weeks and buying me stuff and making sure I am comfortable that my brain cannot help but go to those conclusions.
On the other hand I've also noticed the small things he does for me that most people wouldn't pick up on that I find insanely sweet. Like he noticed from the MANY times he has slept over that I always make my bed in the morning so when I go to brush my teeth before we have to leave, he makes my bed for me so I don't have too. Or when I am packing my lunch and filling my water bottle for the day, if my Brita is halfway full and I put it back into the fridge because I'm too lazy to fill it, he will take it out of the fridge and fill it up so I don't have to later. He also brings over bottles of wine for me because I just turned 21 and wine is my absolute favorite and he knows my favorite brand and my favorite snacks. So if I'm having a bad day he will go out of his way to go too the store and pick stuff up for me.
It is shit like that that makes me think he wants a relationship but when we first started this thing it was clear what we both wanted. Sex. No strings attached just blatant, kinky sex. And at first it was amazing, he is a rigger so he would tie me up and get his practice in and I would sit there with the biggest grin on my face. We worked well together, I never expected anything from it just fun and for a couple weeks that's all it was. That was until he started asking me to go out to eat with him or run to the grocery store and I was fine with it I mean we were together most of the time anyway so why not?
I should've just said no, should've made an excuse to not go out to eat or spend time with him, but who doesn't want a guy giving them all their attention? To be the one person who they wanted to go too the store with just because?
So that's what happened, I got comfortable with Dan. I started to rely on him to spend the night in my bed so I would have someone to cuddle up with and not be alone all the time. I expected too much of someone I didn't really know outside of the bedroom. Hell we would never really have any real conversations, its all small talk and how was your day or whispering dirty shit into each others ears at the restaurant and just inching to get back home. It felt like all the perks of a relationship in a FWB type of situation and that would've been fine, if I'd been the only one...
To Be Continued...