Harley Davidson

I've grown accustomed to naming the men in my phone something fun or relating to the encounters we've had. This is just something amusing for myself that these guys will probably never be privy to. Plus, it reminds me of why I stopped wishing to speak to them. For example, Minute Man is forever saved as 30 Seconds... So I can relive that memory anytime I swipe passed his name.

Primarily, I keep these men in my phone to be on the safe side if they were to ever want to reach out to me after I deleted their number. I really stuck to my guns on this when I encountered Harley Davidson. After Minute Man and Gutter Boy, I had a more clear idea of what I wanted. I didn't want a relationship but I still wanted sex. I really did want something casual, although, still if asked what I was looking for I typically answered I was up for anything beyond a one night stand. Enter Harley Davidson. He messaged me on a dating app we matched on, I later realized he had also reached out to me on a separate app and I ignored him... Should have stuck to my guns, but he was charming and funny and tall. Plus, I seem to have this thing for guys that I find mildly attractive but not many girls do. I feel like this is a security for me, I don't have to worry about our relationship if I don't think he can pick up a second girl. Harley Davidson fell into this category of good-looking enough but a comfortable not incredibly hot. The conversations we had were fun and loose, often jokes, and rarely rooted in anything serious. We talked for a week or so before we started to plan meeting in person and he asked me what I was looking for. I gave my usual vague response before he shot back with not wanting to jump into another relationship after a disastrous past one. I was fine with that, more than fine with that, but I did have some rules.

Sex was not to happen at my place. Being a small female who lives alone 60% of the time, I felt like this was reasonable, as I didn't want him knowing where I lived until I was more comfortable. Plus bringing it all into your home is a whole level of vulnerability that I didn't want to deal with.

Condoms were a necessity. I didn't feel like catching anything off of his casual dick that would make me sick.

I don't do booty calls. You want sex, you give me time in advance so I can ensure that everything is taken care of.

I felt like my rules had been calmly and clearly stated. He did not and proceed to tell me that I needed to "simmer" and that he wasn't just talking to me to have sex with me... Bud, let's be honest here, we met on a dating app... We both know you were only talking to me to eventually have sex with me and that's fine. I replied back to him telling him that I didn't need to simmer because I wasn't even mad... In fact, I, myself, was kind of wanting something more casual anyway, as not having obligations to another person was sounding great at the time. He proceeds to inform that that I was odd and when I asked how? He replied the way I speech... SPEECH. I might have held this up to a slip of the finger or good old autocorrect fucking with him... If it weren't for the fact that he had previously referred to opera as Oprah and didn't know how to spell the word keen... It's a four-letter word and 50% of it is the letter E! But his poor grasp of the English vocabulary wasn't what ultimately pissed me off. When I asked again, what it was that he meant. He informed me that I act too intelligent that it was a turn-off. Well, I was not about to let that slide and shot back that I don't act intelligent, I am.

"Someone is feeling extra pretentious today."

Well... You know for sure he had to Google that word considering "valid" and "stance" were too much for him to handle previously. I shot back a very long text, basically ripping him a new one. I informed him that I wasn't trying to make myself seem smarter than I was, that I did just happen to speak that way and that I am indeed quite intelligent. I finished it off with a nice little bow saying, "If you need a dumb girl to get your dick hard. Go find someone else."

He ended up deleting and unmatching me off of everything and now is saved in my phone as Harley Dickenson.

Cause he's a dick.