Goodbye

After months of stolen moments; months of secret kisses always with the fear of interruption, tonight was the night. The night that they would end the affair.

It started out as an innocent flirtation among coworkers, but quickly turned into a whirlwind of tawdry touches and smoldering kisses. But tonight it was all coming to an end. He refused to let her go without a fight. She willingly gave into the demands of the man she adoringly referred to as Master.

She laid out the plan as if it wasn’t the first time. They were to meet at the seediest hotel they could find. The one off the highway that let rooms out by the hour, paid for with cash. She didn’t care as long as it meant no interruptions. Surprisingly, he was the one who balked at the suggestion. With little effort: a solicitously placed kiss here, a whispered promise there, and he was won over.

As she drove in the cover of darkness and the lie of her last shift, the guilt tried to consume her. There was nothing wrong with the life she had before meeting the man, but he had shown her a way of loving that she had never been given. Words of admiration, constant open communication, touches that thrilled a part of her that had never been explored. At her age she should have experienced them all and more, but it hadn’t been in the cards and she thought herself undeserving.

Smiling to herself, she pulled into the unlit parking lot. How could one man have turned her world upside down? Was it that he loved so completely, so unabashedly? Her husband loved her, not saying he didn’t in his own way, but there was something unrestrictive, not held back about the way Master loved. Opening and freeing a part of her that she didn’t know was waiting to be coaxed out. She hadn’t done anything differently than she’d done a thousand times before. It had to be him; how he received her affection, how he gulped it down like a man lost in the desert finally finding a spring of fresh water.

She had always been good at playing her part. Anything to get the attention any man was willing to give, as long as they got everything they wanted. She could be the seductress, the secret, the one they hid from their friends; as long as they kept calling, kept showing up in the middle of the night for one more whispered lie, one more unfulfilled promise. It’s not that she didn’t respect herself, she just grew up in a different time; raised by a woman who had been raised by a woman who had no self worth, who needed to be taken care of because women couldn’t be trusted to manage a house, job, and keep a man satisfied. Raised to not take compliments but for compliments to be a form of payment even if they weren’t asked for. ‘Never let a man think you’re unappreciative of his attention, that’s a sure fire way to find yourself all alone in this world.’ How she wished she had taken the path of loving women when she had wanted to, but god almighty the disappointment of those men would have been worse than death.

Placing her car into park, a flame sparked within her as she saw Master holding up a wall in the pitch black, the tip of his cigarette the only sign of life in the darkened corner. The light shining within her felt like a beacon to all the world. Blazing, sending shivers down her spine in anticipation of what this night would entail.

Flicking his cigarette away, he strode toward her with a purpose that made her quiver. She exited her car quickly then froze as she hit the lock. Frozen to the spot, she waited for the fingers of his right hand to encircle her throat. Those pale eyes focused on her as she took to her tiptoes, waiting impatiently for his lips to meet hers. Bypassing her lips teasingly, he trailed his nose along her jaw before tilting her head to the side and leaving a trail from her clavicle to behind her ear with his tongue. Tingles ran through her, her eyes rolling back and her lids fluttering closed. A growl rumbled through him and if it wasn’t for his hand on her throat she could’ve melted right then and there.

His hand left her, slinking down to clasp her hand tightly and she fought to keep the whimper inside. Cool air brushed over the line he had licked, sending a shiver of another kind through her. He pulled her to his side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her exposed skin to squelch the goosebumps appearing on her arms.

Moving behind her, he pushed her against the door that led to the room they would inevitably say goodbye in. Emotions flooded through her; guilt, longing, regret. She clamped her eyes shut against the tears. Years of disappointments had taught her how to successfully turn unwanted feelings into more productive ones. Eyes shut tight, she envisioned the minutes, hours before the last of all the things she had grown to cherish. Warmth grew throughout her, a flash of excitement when his lips met her shoulder and the door opened.

She hadn’t been expecting some magical portal to another land when that door opened, but for a brief second disgust rolled over her. A twin size bed with a brown comforter, burned with numerous cigarettes sat to her left. The carpet under her feet was a color long gone out of style and seemed to squelch beneath her sandaled feet. A doorway ahead led into a bathroom, the door long gone.

Strong hands gripped her waist seconds after the door shut and locked behind her. ‘Just close your eyes and live in the moment’, she told herself. A deep breath and then another, she leaned back, resting her head on his chest. Listening to the steady, if not a little fast paced heartbeat of Master. Breathing in his spicy scent calmed her. She turned slowly in his arms and kissed up his neck and under his chin. The patch of hair there tickled her nose causing a self conscious giggle to bubble out of her.

Not skipping a beat, he guided her into a backward walk, hands never leaving her, mouth laying kisses in sweet patterns along her jaw, over her cheeks, on her fluttering eyelids, and finally on the tip of her nose. If his lips didn’t meet hers soon she might combust. The back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. Before letting in to his wants, she stubbornly placed her hands on his chest. Mischievous glint in her eye, she stood to the tips of her toes. Hands ran up her sides, inching between her shirt and skin, tickling the sensitive skin she wanted no one to see.

Shaking her head, she pouted out her bottom lip. Grin gracing his ruggedly handsome face, he obliged her this one. A nibble on the bottom lip, before his plump lips met hers hungrily. Sighing, a muffled moan left her. Urgency raced through her like a wildfire, fumbling fingers fought material as she pushed his shirt up. Pale, smooth skin revealed itself. She made quick work of exposing more. His belt unlatched, button opened, zipper pulled down. Her breaths left in rushes and she planted kisses and light scratches over every newly shown piece of skin.

Lifted abruptly off her feet, she was none too gently laid on her back on the bed. A gasp left her lips and Master’s naked body glided up hers just to move back down taking her clothing with him. The scratchy comforter pushed from her mind as he frustratingly took his time undressing her. Too slowly if you asked her, she tried to assist only to be restrained and given a reprimanding look. Her mouth curved into a wicked grin, biting her lip she watched as he resumed his trek down her, covering her with well placed kisses.

Teeth teased sensitive skin, silenced moans left her. Slowly he worked his way back up her, her mind filling with all the things she wanted to accomplish on this last foray. Impatience wracked their bodies as his mouth met hers. Tongues entangled, thrusting erratically into each other's mouths, hands roving along skin unexplored. Gliding into her, a satisfied hum emitted from her.

For once, they took their time. Every moment choreographed to perfection. Pleasure filled noises before hushed, echoing around them in jubilant ecstasy. Momentarily satiated, her eyes roved over him. A smile lighting up her face, making her eyes sparkle. She wouldn’t let the tears overcome this superb moment. They still had plenty of time to live out the rest of her Master filled fantasies.

No surface of that room was overlooked in their lust fueled escapade. She memorized every inch of Master to replay in her solitude filled future. Not a second of this time together would ever escape her. Exhaustion drummed through her, but the thoughts of sleeping in his arms for the first and only time plagued her. Does he snore? Does he talk in his sleep? Is he a big spoon, suffocating snuggler? Oh, Goddess, does she do any of those things? Strong, warm arms wrapped her up and pulled her in tightly. No, not suffocating at all, she snuffled his jaw line inhaling his scent. The one she didn’t know if she’d be able to live without. Would sleeping become a thing of the past, turn back into nights filled with tossing and turning without that scent enveloping her? A whispered ‘I love you’ made her breath hitch. She’d yet to say it back. How could she? Her heart, soul, and body had been promised to another. Another who had never once worshiped it like this man had. Eyes closed tightly, she kissed behind his ear and whispered them back with a fervent that she’d never used.

The sun peeked between the drawn curtains, she reached for him, hoping to inhale his scent one last time. Empty air met her. Steeling herself, she rolled. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to leave her without one last kiss. He wouldn’t do to her what so many others had before. Would he?

Tears leaked from her eyes as she looked upon him standing in the doorless frame of the bathroom. “One last romp, my Moon Goddess?”

How could she walk away from this man?