Fourth Time's the Charm?
How this intimate relationship went wrong one night.
When I said, “It’s okay, we can just stop trying,” he didn’t stop trying.
It was about a few weeks into this new relationship during the last month of spring to the first couple of months in the summer was when I had my first relationship with someone I met on Tinder. It was intimidating at first, believe me. But it was a risk I was willing to take to try something new. During that time, I was really into Korean guys. Something about watching all the K-pop music videos and TV shows made me think that one day, I’ll meet a guy who is Korean and that is as caring as the male characters they portrayed in the movies. Totally, kinda, wrong. It was a mess... ish.
Fast forward to the those “few weeks in” I mentioned earlier. We were at his house and it was just the two of us. Of course you know what happens next. Sex. Of course I was nervous, but I definitely didn’t let it get the best of me. I pushed my nervous and anxious thoughts aside, but for him, he was filled, and only filled, with nervousness. It’s embarrassing and an overshare to be talking about personal events like this, but I feel like I can write whatever I want. Anyways, when he did the standard procedure of safety to prevent any fetus developing in my uterus, it was finally time. I was excited, but of course, worried, worried that he may not like me anymore. But I couldn’t back out now. So I just had to wait and see after it was done.
He puts it in and guess what? He goes down. Like, really down.
He says, “Let me try again.” So I let him and yet again, down. It was honestly disappointing, and I was feeling a little embarrassed for him, but I couldn’t just say that to his face because he would probably think back to this moment and be emotional scarred. I couldn’t do that to him.
So I said, “You know, it’s okay. We can try another time.” But he kept on insisting to keep trying. The awkwardness was reaching past its limit. I no longer even wanted to do it anymore. So we didn’t.
We pretended like that last 30 minutes didn’t happen. Of course, I didn’t try to say anything and bring it up as matter of fact to make it worse. Also, it would make things awkward between us.
Next, we ate ramen in almost awkward silence. Then I found out before it was time for me to go that his devil of a dog chewed up my new sandals. To this day, I have no idea where he is or how he’s doing. But to settle your mind, when I got back from Japan, he did break up with me through text without any reason why he did what he had to do, just two days after my birthday.