Five Perverse but True Sexual Facts That Prove Humans of All Races are Equal

This article is a companion piece to the video series.

Sex! I have it (luckily), you have it (hopefully), we all have it (right?), and we all love it (again, hopefully). As there are countless human beings who don't seem to be cognizant of the fact that all human beings are indeed in fact human beings, I decided it would be a good idea, through the use of sexual practices, to prove that humans are all the same, despite minor, unimportant differences. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this list of 100% true facts that prove if you look like a person, and if you talk like a person, chances are, you're probably a person.

Amazing Fact #1: We all cum white.

So this is going to shock and amaze you, but all human beings ejaculate semen which is white colored. Despite a wide variety of skin colors available to human beings, we only have one option with it comes to the color of our jizm. Human males don't cum brown, black, red or yellow (unless there is a serious health issue; if your semen is red or yellow see a doctor immediately), they only cum white. It might be kind of cool if we had different color spermies, but we don't. If you are a human male, you ejaculate white stuff, and again, if it is red or yellow, seek medical help.

Bonus Fact: All human males ejaculate their semen from their penis. Different races don't ejaculate from different parts of the body, despite what the inordinate amount of Eskimo fisting videos available to the public might make you believe.

Amazing Fact #2: You can't mistakenly use Nair as lube without causing pain.

Surprised are you? I can imagine, as while racist dumb fucks may think that Nair would only hurt members of their own race if their lover mistakenly grabbed a bottle of Nair instead of lotion or lube, but in fact, this would hurt members of any racial or ethnic group. Certain compounds are just going to hurt genitals of human beings, from Nare to pure methamphetamine to razor blades, so whatever your skin color, be wary of what you place on your genitals.

Bonus Fact: Some guy in Springfield, Oregon went up to me at a pawn shoppery and informed my friends and I that his dick had been burning for 7 hours straight since he laid a line of meth out on it and had his girlfriend snort it off. What color was his skin? It doesn't matter you fucking racist.

Amazing Fact #3: Everyone hates pedophiles.

It truly does not matter what color your skin, what nation you call home, or where your ancestors rested their bones, you hate pedophiles. It doesn't matter if you're liberal, conservative, white, black, American Indian or an Indian from India, you hate pedophiles. It is an act that is abhorred worldwide, by people of any and all ethnic backgrounds. While Muslims may not universally hate pedophiles, either do Catholic priests; I'm not bringing up ideologies as ideologies are chosen by us, not something we are born with and can not change. There are plenty of Arabic men who despise pedophilia so let's not get into a geopolitical debate on religions effect on the Middle Eastern world. Let's just find solstice in the fact that people everywhere hate pedophiles, even if pedophiles in power spread their agenda in various parts of the world. As an optimist, I choose to focus on how people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds want to change that.

Bonus Fact: Juliet, from Romeo & Juliet, was only 14 in that story! In modern times, in many nations, that would be considered pedophilia. Much with human sexuality is determined by societal factors. Also, for the record, I don't think the legal age should be 14; that's too young. Not making a case for banging young teens, just pointing out a historical truth.

Amazing Fact #4: Pussy tastes great!

So, I still need to try a few different ethnicities, but as far as I have personally tried, women from every single racial group have delicious vaginas if they eat healthy and have, at the very least, somewhat decent personal hygiene. It doesn't matter what skin color someone has, or even what color their vagina is, it is going to taste great and similar. That's the cool thing about vaginas, despite a similar flavor they all taste unique, as long as the girl eats healthy and cleans herself. While I may care where you are born for fetishistic reasons (I really get off on southern accents for example), I do not care the color of your skin, the color of your parent's skin, or anyone you are related to for that matter. Why? Because we are all human beings, duh.

Bonus Fact: Eating fried foods and overly sugary foods/drinks will taint the taste of a vagina faster than an Olympian will finish a 50 meter race. Forbid your lover from consuming this garbage if you respect the taste of pussy.

Amazing Fact #5: I turn women on.

Yes, it doesn't matter what their ethnic background or skin color, all women want to fuck me. Your mom, your sister, your wife and your side piece, they all want to break themselves off a little Bong Studly. Maybe a lot of Bong Studly, time permitting. It's just a fact, like the sky is blue, grass is green, and chili should be spicy. My sexiness is truly the ultimate equalizer amongst human beings. You're welcome.

Bonus Fact: You can follow me @bongstudly on Twitter or IG and get up in my DM's.

Well, there we go people, five indisputable, irrefutable facts that prove us human beings are all the same. We are all one man, we all cum white, and we're fucking equal, alright?