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Female Volcels: Voluntarily Celibate

by Sai Marie Johnson about a month ago in humanity · updated about a month ago

The Rise in Sex-Liberal Women Opting for Voluntary Celibacy

Female Volcels: Voluntarily Celibate
Photo by Raj Rana on Unsplash

First, let's begin with the definition of this interesting new term, Volcel: a person who has chosen to be voluntarily celibate.

Now, that we have an idea of what a Volcel is, let's take a look at this interesting trend among women who traditionally support feminism, sexual liberation, and the right for women to engage in their own consensual sexuality and expression without being shamed or degraded for doing so.

I am a thirty-seven-year-old woman. I have four children; two of which are young adults. I have been married twice and am a strong advocate for sexual expression, BDSM, and intimacy awareness. I feel it is crucial to help adults and couples find ways to keep their spark alive and that sexual health and expression is a natural human process, and should be celebrated for the health effects and uniting benefits that sexuality can offer both couples and individuals alike.

I also feel that all people are entitled to the relationship(s) of their choice and provided all parties involved in any relationship or sexual interaction agree they should be free to enjoy themselves so long as everyone is of legal consent and ethical practices are present. This is the ideal goal for everyone who enters into any sexual exchange or relationship, but for as many women who are out there engaging and even enjoying their many affairs, relationships, entanglements or encounters there are an equal number of women who are choosing, like me, to be voluntarily celibate.

Some men and even women have asked, "Why would you choose to be celibate when there are so many fish in the sea, so many orgasms to be had, and so many experiences you could enjoy?"

But, notice the keyword is enjoy, and unfortunately, what many women like myself are finding is that the D isn't really worth it in most cases. When there is a surplus of men that are searching for a good time, you would think that would make there be an abundance of experiences.

And, there truly is. I would say, being a fairly attractive person, I could have my selection of a different partner every day of the week if I so chose. All of which are incredibly attractive people themselves. However, I am big on connection and chemistry and those things are not easily synthesized. It is easy to find someone physically attractive and lust after them, but the fantasy often ends right there.

When it comes to the actual act of having sex with someone here is where it comes up short: the delivery. Because while there is a lot of persons to choose from when I did choose to engage in any free sexual activities I found that none of them were satisfying. Because while women may have the upper hand on being able to freely seek sexual pleasure there is a lack of just that: pleasure and a severely high number of males who are taking advantage of this free sexual movement and not delivering good sex.

Not even one orgasm, but rather a lot of, 'Wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am.'

In a world where women can essentially do anything they put their minds to, why would we continue to put out sexually for that kind of delivery? While it may be great to see sexual expression, health and liberty continue to expand as acceptable topics for discussion the important element of both parties receiving the state of release needed and euphoric delivery of orgasm should be an absolute.

If women really are free to slut around all they want, how come men haven't figured out we want to be laid for our own enjoyment just like them? Or is the frustration associated with spreading our legs for some sexy time that doesn't get us off a sufficient reason to completely say,

"I'm good on the D - I'd rather chase the other Big D; the dollar, because it's all about the Benjamins, baby; they always deliver abundantly."

And this is why so many women have opted to go the route of being Volcels; as referenced from some of the following:

Why These Single Women are Choosing Celibacy

Seven Women on Choosing Celibacy

The Power of Celibacy: ‘Giving Up Sex Was a Massive Relief’

This isn't to say any one person will remain chaste or celibate forever, but for the meantime; that is the past two years of the Pandemic it has worked well not only for me but several other women I've met and spoken with. There is no denying the truth of loving yourself in all ways and how incredibly powerful and releasing it is to no longer need another person to supply affection or attention.

I feel that when I do finally take a relationship to the level of sexual intimacy now that I will be doing so with the full empowerment of consent and having made solid ground enough with the person for it to be an electrifying experience.

But if not, there's always the trusty B.O.B.

humanity

Sai Marie Johnson

A multi-genre author, poet, creative&creator. Resident of Oregon; where the flora, fauna, action & adventure that bred the Pioneer Spirit inspire, "Tantalizing, titillating and temptingly twisted" tales.

Pronouns: she/her or they/them.

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