Losing Bash took a lot out of me and for a while I couldn’t look at Tom-Tom or even ask to see him. Mo and Jerry stayed by my side for nearly the whole year, but I eventually had to get over the grief and move on with my life, not that I didn’t sometimes find myself hiding in the closet with his shirt and letter just to have a good cry.
I graduated with honors and opened a small acting school not far from campus only because I also work as a tutor for freshman classes needing extra work to make their passing grade.
After the first year of his death I stopped dwelling on his passing and embraced it, taking on Tracy’s request to raise Tom-Tom, not that she didn’t want to, it was that the area she was moving to didn’t have a good enough school for him and I agreed.
Today marks the two years anniversary of his leaving and considering the sadness is a great happiness, I was granted full custody for Tom-Tom. Mo insisted on throwing a party at JubJubs, who was I to deny that. Laughter filled the room; everyone was so happy and oddly so was I. It felt like Bash was somehow with me in a way and I just needed to do what he told me to do and that was to live my life to the fullest.
“Hey, Amber what is taking Mo so long?” I asked Amber, who is now the bartender and the host of the party, a few weeks after the school find out about Bash and I she told me her friends listed a petition to have the video pulled form the internet and Bash’s dad was arrested for invasion of privacy of course he took the easy way out and plead guilty only getting a fine of $1000,000 that was easily taking care of.
“I think he’ll be here in ten,” she smiled, bouncing off to the next customer. I turned watching everyone for a minute, Jerry and Tee laughing and playing with Ashter, Tom and Mark hugging and laughing, yeah that’s right I knew there was something between them, but never asked , they eventually told us after the news hit the school, they came out to show that Bash and I weren’t the only gay couple in school, but it didn’t stop with them. All together hundred students came forward with their partners. I felt relieved to know I wasn’t the only on in school, Amber including her girlfriend took up nursing, so she was in the campus Bash was in.
Smiling and dancing along with Jerry, I looked over to Tee who seemed to have a shocked look on her face. This look almost made me want to run away, but instead I turned around to those soul stealing eyes that held a piece of me.
“Gun,” my voice came out as a whisper, I’ve silently missed him and wanted to be held by him. Mourning Bash only made me want to be closer to him more as a friend then a lover. Nothing held back the urge to hug him as I did, taking him into my arms just to feel that he was really here. As if a puzzle was being put together Tom-Tom ran up to us hugging our legs,
“Say Cheese!” looking over to Tee who snapped the picture as soon as our eyes landed on her.
“Let’s party, everyone is here,” laughing at Mo as him and Racy ran into the bar.
“Whooo, drinks on the house, it’s a party.” That was most of the night, I didn’t get drunk, but Gun did along with everyone else good thing Tee didn’t drink, we were left with the kids and the adult babies.
“How are you feeling?” she said watching over Tom-Tom who is now passed out on my lap and Ashter on her lap.
“I’m good, I know I can move on and live my life to the greatest for my son,”
“What about Gun?” her eyebrow raised to the celling, but even I didn’t have the answer to that. Part of me wanted him, and part of me thought it’s better to stay friends.
“I think we should…”
“Give it a shot!”
“Bash would want you to be happy and without him Gun is the closes to happiness you’ve ever had, I’ve seen it with my own eyes, Yes he didn’t tell you about all that, but shouldn’t leave the past in the past?” Brushing my fingers through Tom-Tom’s hair giving my heart a good huff and puff. Was this really what I wanted? Could I really be happy with Gun now that I know he’s my late boyfriends’ boyfriend? What about Tom-Tom, he’s his father and I should be with him right?
“Witchit, let me help you?” as if my heart silently called for him Gun stood before me holding out his hands to take Tom-Tom off my lap. Tee smiled then winked at me, I could only smirk as I left the bar walking to my car. I stood there for a good minute just watching Gun’s slim, yet buff body manage Tom-Tom into his seat and covering him with a blanket.
I have no idea what the hell possessed me to grab him by the neck slamming him into the car just roughly attacking his mouth. His moan was my undoing, rushing into the car for my short drive to my apartment.
“Witchit are you sure about this?” he gulped as I pinned him against the wall after closing Tom-Toms door.
“What do you feel for me?”
“The truth Gun,”
“I’ve loved you from the second I meant you.” Tears fall from his eyes,
“I want you to be last,” Time stood still as our mouths danced and our hands roamed our bodies. My body was his temple first and then his body was mine; we did so many times, some things I’ve only seen in movies, but Gun release my inner demon and I loved every minute of it.
“Daddy Wit, Daddy Wit,” waking to Tom-Tom busting through the door, instantly regretting it,
“Why is uncle Gun in bed? Where are your clothes? Where are his clothes?” his questions rolled as for me I’m sure I was beet red and Gun just laughed.
“Hush fool,” I glared at him,
“We need to lock the door next time,”
“Daddy Wit,” Tom-Tom looked at us with the most innocent face ever.
“Tom-Tom uncle Gun and I are together now, you know how I told you Daddy went to heaven, will uncle Gun be going to help me take care of you.” I hated the way it sounded but it the truth and I never want Tom-Tom to think I lied to him, Bash wasn’t his biological father, but Tom-Tom doesn’t ever need to know that. And Gun didn’t object what I said either.
A few weeks later Gun Tom-Tom and I visit Bash’s grave it was my first time ever going there and was barely able to stand, but I knew I needed to stand strong for Tom-Tom. Laying the flowers and lighting a candle for him, after saying a pray and having a picnic with him, watching Tom-Tom hug his tone stone it sent shivers down my spine. Gun and I worked well together with keeping everything moving at the studio and classes. Tee offered to keep Tom-Tom for us, and I was so happy for that. He’ll be starting preschool soon I’m excited for that for sure, life is falling into place I happy with it. Standing here at my best friends gave holding our son with my partner.
You must once experience terrible pain to find yourself in happiness.