Dealing with a Dildo That Won't Fit: What to Do?

Nothing is more frustrating than eagerly unwrapping your brand-new dildo, only to discover that your excitement is dampened by the realization that it doesn't fit comfortably into your vagina or anus.

You might feel defeated, thinking that perhaps you're too small, too tight, or too shallow for the toy, especially if you're attempting vaginal penetration. You might even contemplate giving up on using toys altogether or resorting to purchasing a smaller dildo. But don't despair – there are solutions!

The vagina is incredibly elastic, designed to stretch during childbirth to accommodate even the largest baby. Very few vaginas cannot stretch several inches and return to their original state afterward, except in rare medical conditions.

While this article primarily focuses on vaginal penetration with dildos, it's worth noting that using a thinner, smaller dildo is generally recommended for anal penetration, as the anus requires more preparation. You can find more information on using dildos anally elsewhere.

So, if your dildo doesn't fit right away, it's not necessarily due to insufficient lube, preparation, or muscle tension caused by nervousness or stress, except in a few medical conditions. Temporary issues like inadequate lube or muscle tension are often easily fixable.

To address the problem, take your time, engage in relaxation exercises, and incorporate plenty of foreplay before attempting penetration. In rare cases, if discomfort persists, consult a trained doctor or gynecologist to rule out any underlying medical issues.

To help you ease your dildo into your intimate space comfortably, we've compiled this guide to enhance your pleasure and enjoyment.

With our store, we aim to debunk the myth that women have "too small" or "too tight" vaginas, promoting a safe, joyful, and pleasurable experience leading to mind-blowing orgasms!

The notion of "small vaginas" is largely a myth. Most vaginas expand when properly aroused. While the average length of a non-aroused vagina is around 2 to 4 inches, it can double or triple in depth when aroused. The muscles keep the vagina relatively small to prevent infection and control fluid flow when not being penetrated.

Similarly, the anal sphincter keeps the anus closed to prevent accidents during the day. When aroused, the vagina relaxes, allowing it to widen, stretch, and accommodate dildos, penises, or other objects comfortably.

If you feel that your vagina may not be large enough for a dildo, it's okay. Nerves, stress, and muscle tension can contribute to discomfort. If you're new to penetrative sex or using dildos, you may not be familiar with how to relax your vaginal muscles for insertion. With relaxed muscles and proper techniques, dildos of various sizes can be comfortably inserted, turning tension into pleasure.

Continue reading this article to learn more about relaxation techniques.

How Much Do You Know About The Hymen?

There's a lot of misinformation circulating about the hymen, much like the myths surrounding "small vaginas."

Essentially, the hymen is just a part of your body – a covering for the vagina that helps keep it clean and infection-free, especially for young women who may not yet know how to properly clean themselves. Unfortunately, over time, the hymen has been blown out of proportion and has become a source of shame and judgment for women worldwide.

Some common myths about the hymen include the idea that its presence or absence determines a woman's virginity. Additionally, it's often believed that the hymen must be broken for penetrative intercourse to occur, causing pain and bleeding during a woman's "first time."

However, these statements are false. The presence or absence of a hymen has nothing to do with virginity. Many people don't even have a hymen, or theirs may be thin and elastic, not covering the entire vaginal opening.

When the vagina is penetrated, the hymen stretches rather than tears, and if the person is properly aroused and takes appropriate precautions, there's unlikely to be severe pain or bleeding. Activities like horseback riding or sports can also affect the hymen, causing minimal discomfort or bleeding.

During initial dildo use, you may feel your hymen stretching, and there might be some minor tearing or bleeding depending on its size and thickness. However, the hymen is elastic and can stretch around a dildo, and only in rare cases is it thick or rigid enough to cause issues.

If you suspect you have an unusually thick or imperforate hymen, it's best to consult a medical professional, who can diagnose and address any concerns through a simple surgical procedure.

Why the Difficulty?

Your hymen and vagina are not the issue; they're perfectly normal. However, you're still having trouble with the dildo not fitting during masturbation.

In this scenario, the problem likely isn't about size or a medical concern.

The main culprit is often tension. Before attempting penetration with the dildo, your vaginal muscles may not have had the chance to fully relax.

To address this, it's crucial to allow your body to relax thoroughly before trying penetration.

You deserve a relaxing experience. Create a soothing and arousing atmosphere. Take your time during foreplay, be gentle, and show your body the care it deserves. Understanding what relaxes and arouses you is key.

Below, we offer some suggestions, but remember, what works for you may vary. Experimentation and self-discovery are vital. We'd love to hear about your favorite techniques!

Slow Down

Don't rush into using the dildo. That doesn't sound very appealing, does it? It's far from sexy. Instead, aim for a romantic, sensual ambiance.

Dim the lights or light candles for a cozy atmosphere. Indulge in a luxurious bath with scented products. Soft, instrumental music can enhance the mood.

If you'd like an extra treat, consider receiving a massage from your partner, focusing on areas like the hips and lower back, which can alleviate tension around the genitals.

Start Enjoying Yourself

Once you're relaxed, focus on getting aroused. Increased arousal leads to a more relaxed and moist vagina, making dildo penetration smoother.

Long, slow foreplay sessions are ideal. Avoid rushing; allow your body to proceed at its own pace, whether it takes minutes or hours.

Being aroused beforehand increases the likelihood of staying relaxed during dildo play. Explore various foreplay techniques that excite you.

Remember, it's okay to take your time. This moment is all about you. Remind yourself of what makes you sexy and valid.

Consider experiencing orgasms before dildo penetration. Having multiple orgasms during masturbation is possible and can enhance relaxation.

Moreover, orgasms before penetration can make you more receptive to the dildo, thanks to the release of endorphins and "happy hormones."

Lubrication Matters

By now, you might be tired of hearing about lube, but its importance cannot be overstated. It significantly enhances comfort and pleasure during sex or masturbation.

If your vagina naturally produces enough lubrication, dildo penetration will be painless. However, many assume this lubrication is sufficient, which is often not the case.

Natural lubrication levels can vary due to factors like hydration, menstrual cycle, stress, and more. Additionally, natural lubrication may dissipate during penetration, especially with firmer materials like dildos.

It's wise to have plenty of lube on hand to ensure a comfortable experience. Opt for a thicker, silicone-based lubricant for dildo play, as it lasts longer and is less likely to become sticky.

Avoid silicone-based lubes if your dildo is silicone, as they can degrade the material. Experiment with different lubes to find what works best for you.

Many sex toy shops offer sample sizes for experimentation, so don't hesitate to try different types until you find the perfect fit.

Choosing the Right Dildo

With proper relaxation and arousal, even large and heavy dildos can be safely and comfortably used for vaginal penetration. However, just because a large toy can be accommodated doesn't mean it's the right choice for everyone.

If you're new to dildo masturbation, it's advisable to start with a shorter, thinner dildo before attempting a larger one.

If you've already purchased a large dildo that doesn't quite fit, don't worry! Each person has unique needs, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to dildos.

Various factors, from hormones to weather, can affect natural lubrication, muscle tension, and overall arousal levels, making it essential to choose the right dildo for your body at any given time.

Know Well About Your Dildo And Body

Contrary to common belief, taking time to familiarize yourself with a dildo before penetration can actually help you relax and become more aroused.

By getting to know the dildo like an old friend, exploring its texture and shape with your fingers, you'll feel more comfortable welcoming it into your body.

Experiment with different grips to find one that feels comfortable and allows you to maintain control without discomfort.

Practice mock thrusts in the air to familiarize yourself with the dildo's movement and weight.

Explore sensitive areas of your body besides your genitals, such as the neck, nipples, or stomach, with the dildo's tip.

If you're comfortable, try practicing in front of a mirror to become more accustomed to the dildo's feel and build confidence.

Dildos can also be used to practice oral skills, helping you become more comfortable with oral sex. Make sure to wash your dildo before use to remove any plastic taste it may have.