About 12 years ago, I met this guy at the store. He had some physical qualities I really like in guys, so when he approached me, I was like “heeeeeyyyyyyy”. We exchanged numbers and began to talk on the phone practically everyday. He asks me out a few times, but I was hesitant! I don’t know if it was my “cukie” radar was off or what, but made excuses for about a good two months. So here comes month 3 and I was becoming more comfortable with dude so I was like sure. We did the movie and dinner thing and back to my place.
We sat there talking for a little while and before I know it, we were kissing. It was like drinking from a water hose. I was totally grossed out! So I wasn’t trying to do that longer than I had to! I pulled away and kissed his neck. I’m thinking to myself, I know this monster is about to wake up. So as I am kissing on his neck, he’s moaning and squeezing my breasts and my hands a roaming his groin area. In my head, I’m thinking, “it gotta be between his legs or wrapped around because I don’t feel it!” And for whatever reason, that turned me on more. So I stop kissing and grab his hand and lead him to my bedroom. Soon as he crosses the doorway, I start taking his clothes off and he starts taking mine off. First mistake, it was pitch black dark! I could see anything! Second mistake, I didn’t reach down to feel what he was working with, but I digress!
As he is sucking my breasts, I hear the condom paper rip and apparently he slipped it on. So at this point, I am super soak and wet and ready! He climbs on the bed, pushes my thighs up to my breasts and pauses. Now my mind is in overdrive. Because I’m thinking he about to have my plump ass balled up screaming. And I was ready.
In the midst of my thought of “damn he finna tear these cukies up”; I notice he has started thrusting. I snap out of my thoughts and am like “what the hell is he doing?” He was swirling and swerving, arching and humping his back, I mean he putting in some work! Yet, it just feels like he is rubbing my clit! Good thing it was dark because of it wasn’t, he probably would have stopped after pump number 3. But he was putting in work!
Now I’m thinking what am I doing wrong? I know damn well I am not loose like that. So I start doing kegels in the process of him humping and pumping. I’m tensing and squeezing every damn muscle in my body to see if I can feel his. And NOTHING!
Now here we are, he’s sweating, humping, pumping and thinking he tearing these cukies up! And while I should have been enjoying myself, I was thinking about a comedian on Comic View that said....”I’m not gonna rip it up or tear it up, but paper cuts hurt too!” Now I do not know what in the hell made me think of that, but I did and I also had started to get an attitude!
But back to the humping and pumping and sweating and squeezing. I am a big girl, so being bent up and balled up like that and tensing up and squeezing my every muscle, I knew it wasn’t gonna end well.
Now I don’t know how long this whole process took but I was ready for it to be over. And maybe my body sensed that to, because a few moments later, my entire body, mainly my ass cheeks locked up! I have never experienced a cramp like that before! I guess the cramping action made me flex down and it threw him off the bed! I was low key glad! I squirmed on the bed for about 5 minutes, hoping he would put his clothes on. And he did! I walked him to the door and went and took a shower....well after using my toy and getting mine!
Needless to say, he never got a call back!