COVID-19 FUCKS US! Now, This?

Narrative Poem/ Letter to COVID-19:

Fucking up my emotional state, locked me down to fondling and self-pleasuring.

My creative juices are drying up. I can only hold onto small increments of my last time when I was receiving the best head of a lifetime.

Almost ninety days and no relief. I want to sanitize you to break down your ever existence, to make you feel my grief.

If I view another, post which is intended to mock another.

I plan to tear them down too. They are in cahoots with you.

COVID,-19, You are going to die. I banish your name.

You want all the thunder and fame. Ironically George Floyd’s incited a rage of flames.

Fucking up my emotional state I feel like a basket case with nobody to hold, I just really want to smash it on his face.

To let out my fears and anguish, I want him to remove the bitter taste.

As I riot out for this cycled - pinned up rage. I can’t taste

What is not present, the one who has taken my essence and rocked me to the core. Because "He" likes to ignore….

Pity me, no!

Pics after pic, video after video, I am so over it. I have come to resent,

Those too!!!!!

Conflicted and torn between, come stroke my numbness, I have embodied an infection.

I am sick in my mind and my physical health is declining, this shit is not fictitious.

Conflicted and torn between, come stroke my roundness, rubber gloves, and mask can keep us non-contagious.

Keep me free

Without the grip on my neck this time,

Because I feel afraid on my knees, I cry…....

I am in desperate need….

I answered the video call from my LD cuddle buddy, he is stroking himself as the box opens. I am not surprised because this is what he does when he’s “missing that pussy,” I am not baffled or speechless just a little aroused. We talk with simple conversation simultaneously, only pausing as he calls out my name. I do not have to give way to speaking because almost always he cums in about seven minutes into the conversation. I have only enough time to feel the beginning of my own arousal. I am still fully dressed and again in normalized behavior. He cums hard and fast and no different than if I were there in his presence. But he does suggest before the window is closed, “look for a ticket, come spend the weekend with me…” I end my call thinking to myself, “would I risk my life for this one?” I admit to myself, I adore my Cuddie, our soul ties because of the years we have known each. We love the secret fetish and oral fixation nature of our sexual obsession with masturbation and oral pleasures. Our sexual intimacy has never changed over the last twenty-something years. Kissing, touching and blasting orgasms at the same time, a rarity. Rare with us as penetration; we have fucked less numbering the years of our exclusive bond. Whatever, the case is I am not willing to risk my life and succumb to this fucking COVID-19. Cities are burning and I am just not that willing to sacrife my life for "him?".

Within the next few hours, I have had five video requests: two IG, BBC adult entertainers, two equally endowed Saudi Arabians, one underage kid and I declined them all, giving them the “fuck u” finger. As I rub out my own anguish while wishing I was being fucked and licked by my OCD, distant lover. One I would take the flight for during this COVID-19. But he has been caged in with his “Significant Other.” No calls, texts and I am truly pissed. I am sleepless, sick, and becoming stiff, my everything hurts!!!! I am a drama Queen and I want what I want. I am in this bed in a fetal position. Cuddling these pillows. Thinking, I am soon going to heaven or hell. And no one will have cured my condition. I am drifting far away, I am slipping into delirium. I think my womb is closing in on me. Will she ever open again? Fuck you COVID-19 and those sinister assholes!!!!!!! And my phone rings, Mateo?

Sincerely Not Yours,

Bree Z. Love

FYI: Dear readers, Stay Home and Stay Safe and if you are one of the Brave on the frontline for George Floyd, remember it is never in vain and we are all going to get through this together. Until next time…..

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