Cliché Old School Pick Up Lines

With all of the new technology designed to make our lives easier, we have forgotten the art of the conversation. Long before cellular towers, strangers actually met each other in person. Old school pick up lines were the opening salvo before your personal profile was located on a plastic device in the pocket of an attractive stranger you wanted to meet. Your wit was more important than how many followers you had and your charm was defined in actual conversations, not Snapchat stories.

Texting has replaced talking. Tinder has replaced seduction. This becomes a problem in the dating world. Though, does anyone call it dating anymore? We refer to it as "hooking up" or "Netflix and chill." The euphemism has replaced the need to say, "I would like to court you and possibly become intimate." The cheesy pick up artist of years gone by has all but evaporated. How can you use a classic pick up line on someone if you never actually speak to that someone?

In the days between cavemen and Steve Jobs, there were social mixers and singles weekends. Bars were social hang-outs, a place to go after work and meet potential suitors. All the lonely people coming together to try and make a connection. Catching someone’s eye from the corner of the room, getting goosebumps as they got closer, and when then approached, the first words uttered were either corny and off putting or really smooth. The chase and the flirting were all a part of the game. These things rarely happen anymore. The lines our parents used when they were courting are truly a thing of the past. But just like that comfortable pair of jeans, it’s time to resurrect these beauties. If these lines worked for our parent's generation, it is quite possible they could work for ours as well. Because even though being DTF is romantic and all, and NSA is a turn on, sometimes a good conversation is the sexiest thing of all.

For the Fashionista You Want In Your Bed

The perfect way of complimenting a woman’s outfit and letting her know she is sexy, "Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?" is a line guaranteed to either get you sexted or slapped. Either way, it is very effective.

When You See the Perfect Angel

Aww shucks, thanks for thinking I am an angel. With a good line like "How was heaven when you left it?" perhaps the devil in you will come out as well.

When You Really Want To Get Into Her Pants

The only reaction to "I lost my virginigy. Can I have yours" is "Did you really just say that to me?" Before turning this Casanova away, let him know that you're sure there is no way he isn’t a virgin with a line like that. And be sure to let him know that using his hand doesn’t really count as sex.

For the True Narcissist

No. No. No. Very bad, very corny, and very not sexy. In fact, unless you have had too much to drink, the guy who would use "Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them" guy deserves a knee in the genitals. Sure it is hard to break the ice, but some lines should never be used. This being one of them.

If She's Wearing Lululemon In a Bar

If this line comes with a drink, take the drink and run. Truthfully, "Your legs must be tired from running through my mind all night" is pretty clever especially if you are a runner because then it can springboard into an actual conversation about something that interests you. If he keeps listening, perhaps you can start running together.

She Needs At Least 2 Tattoos for This One

They aren’t opening for the guy that uses the line "You've got a nice set of legs. What time do they open?" that’s for damn sure. Buddy, change the “What time do they open” to “You must work out a lot.” Your chances are a little better. Not great, but definitely better.

For the Well-Botoxed Woman

The jury is still out on "Just wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?" After all, you did just spend way too much money on lip gloss. You want the guys to notice the seductive look you have been going for. The question is, how do his lips look?

Leopard Print Pants, Anyone?

Tigers can’t wink buddy. Move it along. Now if you told me that you just came back from saving endangered tigers, perhaps you can explore my jungle. But "Do you know what winks & screws like a tiger?" is a no go. I don’t care if it got your grandma to hook up with your grandpa.

Maybe She Is an Astronaut

Yes, I work very hard for this ass, so I will accept your really bad line and give you further access. All those days at the gym have been validated, even if it was with a cheesy line like "Are those your space pants? Because your ass is out of this world." Go for it.

For the Well Endowed Lady

Do you know how to bake an actual pie? That might be a better selling point than "Are you made of apples? Cause you look sweet as pie." And when you say apples, which body part are you referring to exactly? This one is a definite no-go.

Implants, Anyone?

And you have now got something between your eyes, my fist. Never use this line. Ever. Capice? "You've got something on your chest. My eyes," is a perfect example of what never to say if you want to get laid.