Balancing Sexuality with Sensuality

Let’s open this topic with a hard beeline to the point of what sexuality is versus sensuality. Sexuality relates to sex, the act of sex, and everything leading up to it. Sensual relates to the senses, and is about satisfying our appetite for visuals, sounds, tastes, smells and touch. You can be sexy without being sensual, but sensuality always makes you attractive on another level.

The difference between the two is the same as the difference between fucking and making love. The former is focused on one primal act, the latter is emotionally indulgent. Sexuality is instinctual, blatant and ultimately a biological objective. Sensuality is exclusive, utterly consuming, and subjective to each individual. Everyone is sexual in the same way: Raw exposure of body parts, the stimulation of the organs & explosive orgasms. The body follows a repetitive process of release.

No two people are sensual in the same way. It's not about how good looking your sexual partner is. Physical attractiveness is just a bonus. It's about how one moves their body. It's about the tone of their voice … It's in the gentle touch, the toss of the hair, the way they sit, stand, and strut. It is not stated in words. One doesn't say they feel sensual. You simply live it.

Picture this; the sensuality of being grounded in your own body and walking in a way that you are in full awareness of the sensation of the air against your face, the pressure of the earth on the bottom of your bare feet, feeling the caress of your own skin against itself as you brush the dust from your arm with the palm of your hand. We can experience so much pleasure in simple motions and moments when we connect with the feeling of our body. And when we practice this state of being, we find and practice the experience of passion.

Although, sexuality can exist without sensuality and the practice of passion, why would we want to exclude these characteristics that complete the puzzle of a healthy and whole partnership. Sexuality without sensuality is simply the physiological responses of our body. We may experience pleasure, but it would be less optimal and more drive based to fulfill an internal pressure. We can even make our “quickies” become more amplified by our presence and senses.

Now let’s consider sensuality and passion as a meditation or practice, shall we?  

“Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn’t sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim.” ~ Paulo Coelho

This quote may be incredibly relatable for those of us seeking less typical ways of connecting with our lovers. It’s not to create shame for anyone who may not have experienced this type of passion yet but to encourage a SLOW DOWN and focus on the build up of energy and anticipation--in whatever stage of your relationship/relationships.

Sexual is a state of mind. Sensual is a state of being. Sensuality is the art of seduction that doesn't always have to lead to sex. While sexuality comes from a physical desire for sex, sensuality comes from an emotional & spiritual desire for pleasure in everything. We can switch our sexual side on and off, but it doesn't work like that with sensuality. Often sensuality and sexuality are mixed up, because sensuality is inherently enticing, and amorous. It exudes love for all things, and pure unapologetic love for oneself. If that isn't a fascinating feature within a lover, then what is?