On a particularly uneventful Saturday in September, I was lying in bed watching my favorite movie—Pretty Woman—when my phone went off.
Grudgingly, I tore my eyes away from Richard Gere begging Julia Roberts to stay the night—not because he was paying her to, but because she wanted to—to see that I had a message on Grindr.
I have a love/hate relationship with that app. Usually the guys that I'm attracted to either block me or ignore me (or turn out to be bots,) while guys that I'm completely turned off by love talking my ear off. The only reason I really even have the app is to combat late night loneliness and occasionally meet someone with whom I have a quick evening of making out and handjobs or oral sex.
I have seen a lot of dirty stuff on Grindr. Penises, anuses, cum, genital piercings, pics on the toilet... you name it. Nothing could have prepared me for what I witnessed.
A 35-year-old man (according to his profile) with a binky in his mouth, wearing a onesie with a diaper underneath.
I try not to be a judgmental person. We all have fetishes that excite and inspire us to sexual fulfillment. While I don't understand some of them—scat, watersports, etc.—I cannot wrap my head around an adult man (or woman) who wants to pretend to be a baby.
Is there sex involved in that fetish? Or is it some abandonment issue fueled neediness that stems from wanting to be helpless and cared for? Do they actually relieve themselves in the diapers? So many unanswered questions!
So... I decided to consult my old pal Google and research this unique fetish. First stop: Wikipedia.
The fetish is commonly known as Adult Baby Syndrome, but is also known as Autonepiophelia, Paraphilic Infantilism, and Psychosexual Infantilism. If the person includes diapers in the package, that's known as Diaper Fetishism. Common behaviors include drinking from a bottle, simulated lactation, and wearing diapers (they do sometimes urinate and defecate in them). There is a connection to BDSM as the "parent" partner serves as the dominant, while the "baby" fulfills the role of the submissive. Some "babies" use it as an escape from the stress of everyday adult life, while others enjoy role-playing and the masochistic aspect of it; instead of being "babied" they wish to be spanked, humiliated, or otherwise chastised. Masturbation and ejaculation are not a given; some adult babies find the behavior to be un-babylike.
People who engage in both wearing diapers and acting as an adult baby are known as "adult baby/diaper lovers" (AB/DL.) In a study of AB/DL individuals, it was concluded that 93 percent of the test participants were male, 58 percent of which identified as heterosexual. 34 percent of the women identified the same. The age at which the individual began experimenting with AB/DL ranged from 12 (became interested) to 16 (became a practitioner) for females, and 11 to 13 for males. The most common aspects were found to be wearing diapers and urinating in them, as well as other infantile behavior. 91 percent of females and 86 percent of male test subjects felt that the fetish had no impact on their lives.
While commonly mislabeled as pedophilia, the fetish is classified separately as both partners are not children.
An accurate estimate of the AB/DL community cannot be ascertained because of the taboo nature of the fetish.
While I could not personally engage in paraphilic infantilism, I feel a little better knowing that it isn't tied to pedophilia. I am, however, disgusted by the notion of adults willingly messing in a diaper.
Needless to say, I didn't message him back. My Mr. Right wears pants, not diapers.