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Ass Slap Styles

by Beth (Halo) Hanson about a year ago in fetishes
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What spanking says about relationships

What does the way your partner spanks you tell you about your relationship?

I do not watch porn. I have never been drawn to it and never felt the need to. Sure, there have been times I've watched it to see what it's all about. Generally speaking, though, what I know from sex is from experience. It seems, however, that men learn what they want and how they act in bed from what they watch on their computer screen. Why, then, do some guys spank so hard right off the bat? While others are much gentler? I wanted to write this article partly for the comic effect. But also to share an aspect of sex and relationships that I find interesting. The way a guy slaps my ass says a lot to me about our relationship. I have also found it to become more common in my sexual encounters, so I wanted to dive into it.

Hard and loud

When your partner likes to spank you hard, leaving hot red marks, this can mean a few things. First, it could tell he simply wants the sound and has not figured out that harder does not mean louder. Although, he is likely to be someone who likes to be dominant. He is probably the type of guy who will want to be kinky, exploring all your holes. In terms of your relationship, he probably likes to be the one in the driver's seat, and he probably makes most of the decisions when you are together. He is likely the one who decides when you guys meet and what you will be doing. He might be insecure, needing to make up for his feelings of lack of control in the relationship. If he also grabs or spanks your ass at other times, especially in public. He wants to feel ownership. He is essentially saying, "This is mine."


This is the gentle guy, he might be afraid of hurting you, but most likely, he enjoys the softer, sweeter, and more romantic aspects of sex. He probably likes the sounds you make when you're slapped and gets his pleasure from pleasuring you. This man is sure to ask you what you want, take special care of you, and make sure your needs are met. Alternatively, he could also be quite shy and insecure; either way, he is probably a sweetheart who will go out of his way to make sure you are comfortable. He might have a hard time impressing you if you do not like to be in charge. But if you can tell him exactly what you want, you will both have a great time.

Slow and rhythmic

This guy is the real softy; he takes pleasure from the sound and feel but does not have the same need to feel in control. He's not likely to surprise you with anything except for gentle kisses and generous gifts. He probably wants to give you lots of his time and attention. He wants you to know he likes your body, and he's confident in himself. He doesn't feel the need to show control or dominance. He sees you as an equal partner and playmate in having a good time.

Slap and grab

This guy is hard and loud in disguise. He has primal instincts to dominant you and wants to feel more in control in the relationship. However, he knows if he spanks you as hard as he wants to, it will hurt, so he grabs instead. This guy loves your body and wants as much pleasure from you in the bedroom as possible. Generally, the sex will be less about your satisfaction and more about his own. He probably enjoys sex most when he feels most in control.

Warm-up slaps

When your partner gives you warm-up slaps leading up to a louder slap, he is scared of his own primal desires for sex. He wants to take control and feel ownership but also might have a hard time accepting it. He cares about your comfort and enjoyment and is willing to put you first. He may become distant in the relationship if you don't take control. He will fear being too needy and will need reassurance and clear communication to feel comfortable.

Overall, when a guy slaps your ass, it means he likes it. But if you don't, tell him. If he keeps doing it, then maybe it's time to look a little deeper into the relationship and if he's really the guy for you. But don't take anything too seriously, it is just spanking after all...


About the author

Beth (Halo) Hanson

Visonary painter, Realist writer

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