AMBER

The red, digital numbers on the face of the black clock on the nightstand rearrange themselves from 4:24 to 4:25 as the amber rays from the radiant sunset shimmer through the room with its warm and present energy. The acoustic tunes playing from the Bluetooth speaker on the black, wooden dresser in the corner of the bedroom ceased its artful ministry leaving the room in a state of unfiltered silence that has long forgotten the liberating sounds of the strumming guitars and soothing pianos. A warm, yet chilling breeze fills the room from the widely-cracked window breathing life into the blue sun and moon tapestry hanging perpendicular on the, otherwise, bare, white walls. Its blue, clothy body dances through the ripples of air passing through and forcing the papers to float across the desk. Some of them get caught in the small puddle of a tipped-over glass of Merlot. The autumn winds cause goosebumps to rise on our skin as your body is still compressed against mine.

4:25 becomes 4:26 as you peel your warm and sweaty body from off mine releasing the pressure from my ribs compressed to the mattress. I release a loud sigh as you pull your thick member out of me. Then I watch you, carefully, remove the condom and enclose it up in a white Kleenex. The amber rays bounce off your golden-tan complexion as you toss it in the trash. The sunset admires its reflection off of your perfectly round ass as you pick up your underwear. Watching your ass protrude before slipping into the waistband of your white Hanes boxer briefs compelled me to turn from my stomach to my back leaning on my forearms revealing my girth. "You sure you can't stay?", I asked as I make it bounce. You look and quickly look away responding with silence as you place one leg at a time into your ripped size 34 jeans. You do a little jump allowing your butt to jiggle a little when you pull them over the hump the meets the bottom of your chiseled vertebrae that made my penis jump.

4:27 rolls around. The sunset bounces off the masculine curves of your chest and abdominals as you check yourself out in the mirror putting on your white t-shirt and then your red campus hoodie. A loud buzzing comes from the nightstand. It's your phone. You snatch it up to your ear and say, "Hey babe! I'm leaving the library and walking across the campus now." My heart sinks into an abyss of pain as I listen to you explain yourself. You speak, as if, losing them would be a great loss. At 4:28, you slip your feet into your slightly worn Air Forces without untying the laces. "You know how to get me if you want more." Silence. You pat down your pockets and look around the room to make sure you don't leave anything behind. God forbid you'd have to come back for anything. Half-past the 29th minute is when you walk to the door, unlock it, and quickly leave. I watch the door slowly close as the muffled sound of your footsteps decrease in the carpeted hallway the farther you're away. Then, finally, the door closes and everything is back to silent.

4:30 PM. My erection is deflated. My ego is bruised. My self-esteem is shattered. No "Thank you." No "I wish I could stay". Not even a lie left to tell. The walls of my mind still vibrate ever-so-slightly to the jingling of your brown, leather belt. The once warm, yet chilling breeze that circulated the room has cooled down. The tears slowly roll down the side of my face before being absorbed into the bed. The sheets retain and release the mixture of Old spice and baby powder, the same smell I instantly fell for when I pressed my face against your skin. It further tortures my grieving heart as I remember all the funny jokes you told. The way you used your words to persuaded me to believe I could love you through the thick and the thin. You touched me and made me feel you. I looked into your eyes for the first time and felt like I, finally, earned a win. I was wrong.

It's 5 PM when the autumn sunset nearly declines to a dark and nightly sky inviting streetlights to come alive and illuminate every dark path. The wrinkled folds are still formed on the corners of the bedsheets as from when your fingers interloped with mine. The sun and moon tapestry's blue body continues to dance through the ripples of the cool breeze passing through. The paper sitting in the puddle of Merlot has soaked up most of the wine and sits wet and full on the desk. The gravity of the deafening silence has claimed his place as ambiance. The room gets darker as the sunset You have long gone abandoned my life and continued yours. I just want to lie here curled up in my blanket, naked and alone, and remember the first time you said "Hello"... back when I felt worthy. When I felt loved. Even if it was a lie.