Norman was the kind of man you could set your watch to. Always on time. Always reliable. Always impeccably dressed in dark suit and tie. His dark hair always worn in the same fashion, short and neat. His shoes always shined and his creases always sharp. His world worked on a strict set of orderly rules. He got up at the same time every day. He ate the same breakfast. He went to his job by the same route and always got to work 5 minutes early. Norman worked as an insurance adjuster for the biggest company in the state. He always took lunch at exactly twelve o'clock and fed the birds in the park near his office. He came home at the same time every day and rarely spoke to anyone he didn't have some sort of transaction with like the cashier at the supermarket or the landlord when rent was due.
Alice on the other hand was not the kind of woman you could set anything to, unless you wanted to set it on fire. Norman met Alice the day she crashed her car into a store front while doing over 90 miles an hour on a residential street. She was miraculously uninjured. A lot of things about Alice were miraculous. She explained that she had been drag racing some local suburban teens to teach them a lesson about what a real car could do and she wouldn't have crashed if one of the little buggers hadn't rammed her in an attempt to cheat. Alice sat across from Norman's desk in his neutrally painted office (the company said the colour kept clients calmer when the adjusters were delivering bad news) as she explained all this. She was wearing an extremely low cut skin tight shimmery red dress that stopped several inches above her knees, tall shiny black leather boots, and expensive looking leather driving gloves. Her lips were painted to match her dress as were her nails. Her hair was shockingly black, long and wild and her eyes were a piercing green. Norman thought to himself when she walked in that she looked like the kind of woman who was nothing but trouble. Alice thought that Norman looked like the kind of man that could put you to sleep in the middle of sex.
Norman told Alice that her car was a write-off and that the insurance company would not cover much of the replacement costs as the accident by her own admission was Alice's fault. After all, she was drag racing. "What kind of woman drag races?" Norman thought. This was the part where clients usually got very upset and started yelling at the unflappable Norman. Alice, however, did not get upset but instead wet her red lips and said it didn't really matter anyways. She had other cars and she was only in Norman's office as a matter of formality. "Yup," Norman thought to himself, "nothing but trouble." Their business concluded, Alice got up and with a short goodbye left Norman’s office with her swaying shapely rear-end that even made Norman notice as she walked away. He shook his head and got back to his paper work.
All that week Norman found his thoughts drifting to Alice's rump as it left his office. He could not figure out why for the life of him the thought of her swaying back-end would pop into his head at inopportune moments. While he was in a department meeting, there she'd be until someone asked him a question and snapped him back to reality. While he was driving those delicious orbs would appear in his mind’s eye until he suddenly realized he almost missed his exit and he had to quickly swerve into the right lane. Alice's ass was occupying a lot of Norman's normally clockwork mind and it was troubling him greatly. Sure he'd found himself attracted to pretty women before but to nice girls from good homes with nice parents. Not ludicrously dressed hussies with money to burn and no common sense. Eventually Norman even found himself thinking of Alice and her ass as he lay in bed at night not getting his usual carefully timed 7 hours of sleep with his dick hardening against his pajama pants. This is foolish he told himself and willed himself to sleep all week long but Alice's rear never strayed far from his mind.
Alice's claim was settled the next week and much to Norman's dismay she was across from his desk again. This time in a slinky tight horribly low cut top and even tighter pants made out of some sort of shiny black material that looked like it had been painted on her. She wore black patent leather stilettos and black leather fingerless gloves. She had on a silver necklace with a blood red ruby pendant nestled in her cleavage as a focal point for any wandering eyes to rest on. Norman tried to keep his eyes down and off her cleavage as he filled out the final paper work and explained the terms of the settlement to Alice. Alice nodded along to what Norman said, slowly uncrossing and re-crossing her legs and occasionally running her tongue over the edge of her lips. Norman felt something stir in his pants but willed the feeling away.
"And I just need you to sign here and here and we're done," Norman said sliding the paper over to Alice. Alice bent over the desk as far as she could, exposing her supple cleavage as she picked up the pen and scrawled her signature. Norman's breath caught in his throat at the sight of those mounds and he had to quickly look away as he blushed to what felt like his very bones.
Alice pushed the paper back to Norman and said, "Thank you for everything, Nor-man." dragging out the syllables of his name over her lush lips, "You've been most helpful." She leaned over the desk and kissed Norman on the cheek and quickly turned around on her shiny black stilettos and wiggled her ass out of Norman's office once again. Norman felt light-headed.
Later that evening as Norman made his way to his car in the parking garage he still felt light-headed. The rest of the day had been a blur around him and Norman's world felt distinctly out of order. How the hell had one little kiss from a pretty woman fucked up his nice little ordered world? No-one ever got under his skin. How had this happened? Fuck. Great. Now he was swearing too. Norman was walking with his head down pondering this new development in his universe when he heard a soft cough from behind him. He whirled around only to come face to face with Alice leaning against a sleek black sports car that looked fast even sitting still, just like Alice.
"You need a ride?” she asked with a sultry swagger to her voice.
Norman wasn't sure how it happened but suddenly he was saying yes and was now speeding down the freeway at ridiculous speeds in the passenger seat of Alice's very fast car with a very fast Alice sitting next to him gunning the engine in her ridiculously tight pants. "Fuck," thought Norman, "I'm the fucking ridiculous one here. What the hell am I doing?" She seemed to be one with car; it responded to her every little movement like they were on the same wave-length. She pushed the car faster as Norman clung to the dash trying to catch his breathe. "Jesus Christ" thought Norman, "what have I gotten myself into?" Alice turned to him and flashed him a smile that would set even the most pious monk's cock on fire. Norman felt the blood in his body rush downward.
They raced past exit 37. "Hey! That was my exit!" Norman said over the roar of the engine swivelling his head as the exit zipped by.
Alice turned to him, winked and said, "You need to loosen up, Norman the insurance adjuster!" Norman's dick hardened a little.
Alice drove them out to a secluded look-out just outside of the city. It didn't take them long to get there because Alice broke all of the speed limits and barely slowed down for yellow lights. Norman didn't take his grip off of the dashboard until they came to a full stop and Alice put the car into park.
"Jes-sus." Norman exhaled shaking his head, "You're gonna get arrested driving like that!"
Alice just smiled a luscious smile and suddenly Norman found time jumping again and he was in the back seat of Alice's car with his head buried in Alice's cleavage and her ass firmly gripped by both of his hands. Alice was ripping his shirt off and kissing him hard. Norman soon found himself stripping her ridiculously tight clothing off and practically shoving his tongue down Alice's throat. Norman had never felt such sexual abandon or abandon about anything really. He realized right then, with his face buried in Alice's crotch, that he had never felt strongly about anything at all. Nothing ever excited him. All the sex he had ever had was dull and safe. All the women he had ever dated were dull and safe. His job was dull and safe. His life was just one big fucking dull colourless moment moving to another one. Alice was alive like no one he had ever met. She was pure, unadulterated pleasure and speed and carelessness. She was living like Norman never had. Her writhing naked body underneath him set him on fire. His world was suddenly on fire.
Alice, for her part, was just pleased to find out that Norman was surprisingly well endowed, ate pussy like a demon and was an extremely enthusiastic fuck for such a boring looking guy. He had intrigued her this afternoon when he couldn’t stop blushing and tried o’ so hard not to stare at her breasts. He was a challenge to her. Alice knew from experience that the most repressed motherfuckers could be the best lays if you wound them up just right. And Alice was an expert at winding men up.
Later that night, Alice left Norman standing on his front lawn with a deep throbbing in his well-ridden cock, holding his crumpled suit jacket against his now not-so-perfectly creased pants and with a stunned look on his face as she sped away in her expensive sports car with her wild black hair streaming behind her.
Out of the haze, Norman realized that every night for the rest of his life he was going to dream of Alice's perfect ass and wonder what the fuck had hit him.
The next day, Norman was late for work for the first time in his life.
About the Creator
Witchcraft poet, neurotic sex symbol, over-educated sadist, and generally only dangerous to herself and a few unfortunate bedmates. Found haunting the halls of academia, frequenting shady establishments and eating candy at home in bed.