A Connection That Matters

by Katlantis Kay about a year ago in sexual wellness

Why sexual promiscuity may not be as empowering as we're led to believe in modern society.

A Connection That Matters

It's an entirely common misconception that sleeping around is just a normal part of being young and free. To let hormones run their course and act on every urge and desire has become more common than the cold. It's even seen as "empowering" to not be in a committed relationship and sleep with whomever we choose. But it's actually one of the most toxic things we can do for our mentality and our bodies.

Many studies have compared multiple sex partners to "self-medicating," stating that seeking sex with multiple people is away to suppress emotional pain by seeking sexual connections with others, however short-lived.

In 2013, a team of mental health researchers studied mental health connections to sleeping around. They found that increases of substance abuse (drugs, marijuana, alcohol, etc.) showed a linear increase in sex partners. These both often reflected on their subjects' increased anxiety and depression along with other mental health issues. Though we may not see ourselves as depressed when going out to drink and then going home with someone we don't know, why ARE we doing this? Could this be a reflection of deeper internal demons we have not yet dealt with?

Meaningless sex drains your physical energy, takes a toll on you mentally, and depreciates your value as a human and not an object. Though this is a valuable part in any romantic relationship, it should never signify anything less than a mental and loving connection with one another. There is no real and genuine connection just because someone else is inside or on top of you. If this loving connection is not there, we find ourselves searching for value in places we will not find. Sex becomes a release for energy that has not been utilized in becoming our ultimate self. This is energy wasted on someone who gives it no real value.

Why should we be giving our bodies to strangers or people who do not see us as capable humans full of potential? Now I know, in this age, promiscuity is an often occurrence and even encouraged in some groups as a “means of being empowered.” While this may hold true to some, if we ever intend to reach our fullest potential as successful and thriving human beings, there is no time to be wasted on those who do not truly love us for our minds and not just for our facial features and genitals.

We train our minds to disconnect mentally and numb emotionally from others by consuming media. We have allowed ourselves to jump into the passenger seat and let the shiny new car that is media take us wherever it would like. It's continuously depicted that the most important things in life are to “fuck bitches and get money.” This has created a hive mentality that sex is relative to success. Success and the amount of sex you have are in no way, shape, or form connected in any sense. So it’s time to stop believing that the two go hand-in-hand and that with one, the other is a given.

Not only are we giving away our value, we are training ourselves to have poor self-control. We are slowly teaching our minds to give into every whim that it comes across and we become undisciplined as individuals. We start to find it hard to refrain from bad habits for the mere fact that it will bring momentary pleasure regardless of the long term effects it may have. This could be a major cause to people "never getting ahead." All they have taught themselves is how to live for things that don't last and give themselves away to people they hardly know.

When will we finally draw the line? When we've been entirely used up? Or will it be when we realize what we have is enough, and what we have to offer to someone else is more than just physical? Know your worth, and don't give it freely to the first bid.

sexual wellness
Read next: 9 Non-Pornographic Films Starring Pornographic Actresses
Katlantis Kay

Artist, writer, and life enthusiast.

Hobbies include cutting out all the bull shit and helping others do the same.

"All signs point to good luck if you interpret them that way."

See all posts by Katlantis Kay