I’m one of those women who don’t shy away from going for what they want. It’s being 4 years 258 days and 6 hours since I last had sex. Yes! I’m psyched about the date. I’m done thinking about it. I’m hungry. I’m horny. And I want to have sex badly!
I know some people may find this offensive and I don’t care. I want what I want. It’s my fundamental human right to express myself how I choose to. I’m an open-minded person and I love making randy sex jokes with my friends. I enjoy writing about sex, you can read up these stories below to get acquainted with who I am. I’m a sexual animal and I’m not ashamed to say it, “I want sex!”
I have decided to set my body free. To give in to the immense hunger sprawling through my veins. I want my clit to stand erect when they kiss my lips — or stroke my nipples. I want to feel his chest unravel against my boobs. Yes, It may sound crazy, but I won’t hide under my skin just to satisfy society.
But first, let me introduce myself!
My name is Jessey Anthony. A self-proclaimed sex therapist, an entrepreneur, a soon to be ‘A-list’ writer (by a long shot), a single mom and yes, a feminist.
In other words, I’m a strong woman. I have everything I need and shouldn’t be subjected to anything as lowly as sex.
Being a strong woman doesn’t take away my identity as a mortal. I feel, I touch, and I taste! Every day I’m haunted by these intense desires. I’m tired of pretending, or should I say ignoring these feelings that consume me each time I see a dashing male. The painful part is they always have the most seductive smile that sends cold shivers all over my body.
Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed. No, I don’t have to be in a committed relationship to have sex. Having sex without being married doesn’t make me a slut. Knowing what I want and having the audacity to go for it shows a high level of self-esteem.
There’s no shame in pleasure
It was a quiet evening, I went out to get some fresh air. As I walked into one of the famous clubs at the sixth avenue, different thoughts clouded my mind. I was hoping for a little fun. Nothing permanent. Looking around to see if I could spot a handsome charm. There he was. My hopes got high. Electrical flashes in my eyes as I made my way towards his table.
He was a gentleman from all appearances. A little rough on the edges. Neatly carved Edgar haircut. Daunting blue eyes. He wore a blue long-sleeve button-down shirt with a black short jacket on top and black denim paired with a rock boot.
He was a perfectly polished Latin American. I could tell from his funny accent. Latin American are renowned as extroverted and flirtatious, it would have been a waste not to explore a fiery romance once in my life.
Definitely in his late 50s, not that it mattered. He was the most interesting man in the room, yet intimidating. He looked like the world had taken a beating on him. ‘The more vulnerable they are, the easier it is to get them to do what you want.’
We started off with small talks to get the introduction out of the way. Then escalated to romantic talks. Of course, I indulged him all the way. He was impressed. Feeling more relaxed and open to the conversation.
He ordered a $200 bottle of Rum to keep me engaged. I gulped down each glass with dexterity. Hoping to get our conversation down to the juicy part. I want sex, dammit! All this romantic talk is making it much harder for me to breathe. I have given him all the green lights, what more does he want?
I had assumed as a Latino he wouldn’t need much persuasion because they think foreign women are more ready to have sex faster. Which is what I was counting on. The dude couldn’t take a hint. He went on and on about his past relationships. The heartbreaks. The betrayal from his wife.
What? “You’re married?” “Yes, being married for 12 years with three kids”. Disappointed and furious. “Damn! Dealbreaker,” I mutter between my teeth. How could I not see this? You don’t indulge in erotic conversation with a girl you won’t sleep with. You’re leading her on, and that’s rude!
He sat there, like a statue, smiling through his wine glass. I was willing and ready. Why didn’t he take the chance I threw at his feet? Why did he have to ruin things by mentioning his marriage? This was unlike the men I used to date. They would have taken me up the room and given me a hot spank until I was gasping for breath.
It turns out my hunk of a man is an ex-soldier. That explained a whole lot. They are reserved, obscure with a repulsive draconian. No wonder he didn’t touch me or try to kiss me even when I mentioned I was looking to get laid if he was open to it.
Eventually, I just stopped and enjoyed getting free wine and nice meals. Some men can make you work for.
I thought I had my cards all played out. It turned out I picked the wrong one. A strong woman wants sex too. She doesn’t need it. She can live without having a boyfriend, or husband. But it’s good to get a good orgasm every now and then.
Why you should have more sex
Some women do not know all the pleasure zones on their body and are missing out on a lot of sexual happiness. The belly button, lower back, inner wrist, anus and vagina are some erogenous zones that can be stimulated to give us maximum sexual satisfaction. Some of the amazing benefits of orgasm include:
They make you look younger. Forget anti-aging creams, have more sex if you want to look 10 times younger than your age. Vigorous sex pumps higher levels of oxygen throughout the body, increasing the flow of blood and nutrients to the skin and pushing newer, fresher skin cells to the surface, leaving the skin healthier.
Causes deep relaxation by increasing endorphins. The climax helps to clear up those traces of tension that we don’t have to endure. And that relaxation can, in turn, improve sex.
Increases your chances of fertility. By supplying energy to the hypothalamus gland, which regulates appetite (body temperature, emotions and pituitary gland), which in turn releases certain reproductive hormones that induce ovulation and cervical fluid.
Regulates your menstrual cycle. Women who have sex at least once a week are more likely to have a normal menstrual cycle than women who are celibate or have little sex. This can further increase your chances of getting pregnant.
They are good for your heart. Do you know orgasm lowers cortisol levels? which is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Rising levels of cortisol (stress hormone), have been linked to everything from suppressed immunity to heart disease.
They help you stay in shape. An orgasm might be all you need if you want to boost your energy a little in the morning. Half an hour of sex burns 150 calories. If you have an orgasm, you burn even more up to 5,000 calories in a year. It’s also a fun way to tone your muscles and keep your legs lean and flexible.
They are pain relievers. The release of oxytocin and endorphins after orgasm can relieve pain. Regular orgasms can be a great remedy for people with chronic pain. Some women have testified that just thinking about sex helps relieve headache.
They strengthen muscles of the pelvic cavity. When you have an orgasm, the muscles in the pelvic area contract and release as if they are out of date, firming the pelvic floor. And the pelvic floor is essential for everything from core strength to bladder control.
They make your bones stronger. Since regular sex can increase estrogen levels in postmenopausal women, it can provide some protection against osteoporosis, which weakens the bones and is caused by estrogen deficiency.
Our bodies love to have orgasms — and in order to have one, we have to let go and trust our bodies to do what it knows is right. Orgasm helps us to connect with our partner on a deeper level.
Can you have an orgasm without having sex?
YES! Sex toys and lube can help you reach orgasm if you are the conservative type.
Next time you feel like having sex prep your body. I have written another story on how to prep your g-spot to make sex satisfying. You should read it and be ready to have an orgasmic blast.
Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.
This post appeared here.