7 Things to Do Before a Hookup You Need to Know
Knowing that you are on the verge of a great hook up experience is a great feeling
Knowing that you are on the verge of a great hook up experience is a great feeling. When you actually do it, it ends up being exciting, thrilling, embarrassing and even weird sometimes, which just makes it more memorable and enjoyable. For some people, it might be a life changing event and for others it ends up being a memory to cherish for the rest of their lives. There are innumerable ways in which you can be affected by a casual hook up experience. However, if you go about it without exercising caution and common sense, you might end up with the exact opposite. Such a situation will end up leading to an experience that you will not only regret but even one that might put you in a lot of danger.
Online dating and hook up apps have made it easier and convenient for people to find their partners, but with all the good that they do, they also have a flip side. You need to have a base set of rules to adhere to and follow them strictly to prevent unfavorable experiences from occurring. There is no way to absolutely stop such situations from happening, but you can definitely minimize them to the extent that you remain safe and untouched. Here are some of the best things to do before a potential hook up experience.
1) Find out More
Online experiences provide a great deal of anonymity to its users. There is no way to change the nature of the internet because in doing so, you will end up destroying all the good it does, too. What we can do, however, is to tackle this problem on an individual level. Not everything online is true and verified. Whether it is news, opinions or even people, you can’t accept any of it at face value and assume that they are all true. When it comes to online dating and hookups, there is a real and present danger of you potentially getting scammed or worse, attacked by strangers. Hence it is always wiser to find out exactly who you are dealing with, before you even contemplate meeting them.
Ask them for their real name or social media profiles and do your own research to find out if they are a real person. Don’t just skim through them, because there are even some who fake multiple profiles just so that they can appear to validate their deception. Compare pictures, bios and tastes across different platforms and see if the person you met online is a genuine person or not. Moreover, you also get to know more about them in this process, so it’s a win-win at the end of the day.
2) Do You Have Any Mutual Friends?
This should be done for two main reasons where the first one is to validate someone by checking with mutual friends or colleagues. You would feel much safer knowing that there are other people who also know about the person you just met online. This not only provides more security but you also have the opportunity to ask around about your online match with your mutual friends and find out if what is stated on his/her profile is real or not. You also have the option of letting your mutual friend know that you intend to meet with him/her so that if something happens, you at least have someone who knows where you are and with whom, at that point of time. The other reason is on the other side of the spectrum. Sometimes when you are planning to hook up with someone, you don’t want anyone to know about it because it’s a personal matter to you. Not everyone is comfortable with saying that they enjoy casual sex due to the stigma that still exists in today’s society. Hence, by enquiring about mutual friends you will be able to decide whether you want to take things forward or not.
3) Does Your Potential Partner Have STDs?
This is a very important thing to find out because not doing so can change your entire life for the worse. With today’s medicine and technology, a lot of STDs can be cured or controlled, but there are still many that you will be stuck with for the rest for your life. Apart from health consequences you also have to suffer from societal and social judgment for the rest of your life. So, before you go out on your date, make sure that you find out whether your potential partner has an STD or not. Usually responsible individuals who engage in casual sex often get themselves periodically checked. If your partner can prove it to you, then you can be rest assured that you will be with someone who is actually responsible. Another win-win situation for you!
4) Being on the Same Page
Since hook ups are all about sex, it is essential to know if both of you are on the same page when it comes to sexual activities and fantasies. You don’t want to jump in the sack and then realize that the other person likes everything you despise or get disgusted by. This will end up ruining what would have been a great night for you. There is also the question of emotional investment. Some people are prone to get emotionally attached to people who they sleep with. Some people don’t mind transforming a casual sex relationship into a serious one, but there are many who have no interest in that. Having sex may feel like a simple and fun activity, but it is fraught with many complications and consequences. Communicate with the other person and be honest about your expectations. Go forward only if you feel comfortable with it and say no if it isn’t.
5) Drink Responsibly
While sex is a great and fun experience unlike any other, it can lead to some serious consequences if you aren’t responsible. Alcohol may make the experience relaxing and full of fun perhaps, but it can prevent you from forming cohesive, rational thoughts. Consuming too many drinks will make you more irresponsible and lead you down a path you will regret for a long time. This is especially true for women because if you make the mistake of not making sure you practice safe sex, the consequences can be life altering. Your hook up partner won’t be seen anywhere when you learn that you are pregnant and you will have to face the consequences alone. When it comes to casual sex, it is crucial that you remain sober enough to realize what is happening and stop something if you feel like doing so.
6) Be Honest
It’s easy to think about a hook up as a very casual activity with no strings attached; in reality, there are always tiny strings dangling about. The question is whether they are long enough to affect your life. If you are in an open relationship or even in a serious one, it is important to discuss both your relationship statuses with each other. Maybe one of you is uncomfortable with the status of the other but unless you know beforehand; you will end up with a regretful experience. Maybe your partner is married and sleeping with a married individual is something that you would never do. Maybe your partner is in a serious relationship and engaging in casual sex with him/her is against your moral code. It is crucial to know about these things before you have sex with them.
7) Sharing Your Likes and Dislikes
Sex is all about sharing an experience with another individual where both parties get to enjoy it equally. Great sex can only happen when both individuals are satisfied. Techniques and ability can only get you so far. Ultimately, it is the bonding experience that makes it so fun. Before you sleep with someone, understand what their likes and dislikes are in terms of sexual fantasies or kinks. It’s important that both of you be compatible sexually, at least in theory, before having sex. You might either find out that your potential partner has a very different idea about what is enjoyable, or you might find yourselves with the perfect hook up partner. Casual sex is all about fun and having a great time; so, try to get the most out of it when you can.
Everything considered, hook ups or casual sex can be a great experience for you if you prepare for it properly. Don’t just jump into bed with the first person you meet online or otherwise. Be responsible and figure out if the other person is your type or not. What’s the point of a hook up if you end up having absolutely no fun and regret the entire ordeal once it is over? Communicate freely, be honest, share your expectations and always use protection when hooking up with someone. It will not only make your experience way better but it will allow your partner to have a great time too.