5 Tips for Introducing Sex Toys into Your Relationship

Sex toys are more than just incredible ways to upgrade your alone time. In fact, if you’ve thought it sure would be nice to take one for a spin with your partner sometime, you’re in excellent company. So many couples are catching on to the many ways experimenting with sex toys can really take their lovemaking to the next level.

But imagining how incredible it would be for the two of you to start embracing toys together is easy. Figuring out how to bring the idea up for discussion is the challenging part, especially if you and your partner don’t typically talk much about sex, but it’s not impossible. Here are a few tips for successfully getting that conversation started so you can start exploring new possibilities together.

1. Feel things out a bit first.

If your partner’s never mentioned sex toys in any context whatsoever before, it makes sense that you’d be a little apprehensive about bringing them up cold in a random conversation. Instead, try testing the waters a little bit, so you have an idea of how your suggestion will be received.

Instead of bringing up toys, try mentioning an article you read that brought them up or telling a story (real or fictional) about someone you know who uses them with their partner. Gauge how they react for an idea on how they feel about toys or ask them outright what they think of what you just said. Then take it from there.

2. Be prepared to accept their answer.

Even if you’re not sure your partner would be on board with the idea of using a toy together, you might be surprised. More people of every gender are getting curious about what toys can do for their sexual wellness and are at least open to the idea. So, it’s well worth asking how they feel about trying one once you manage to break the ice.

Just be prepared to accept their response, no questions asked, even if that answer is an unequivocal “no”. Yes, sex toys are a lot of fun, and yes, they can work wonders for a couple’s sex life. But consent is critical when it comes to anything intimate or sexual. Be prepared to respect your partner’s wishes if they tell you this isn’t for them and leave it up to them to reopen the discussion in the future if they change their mind.

3. Reassure them if they have insecurities.

Sometimes, when someone’s very new to the idea of toys, they have mixed feelings to work through first. On the one hand, the idea sounds intriguing, and they naturally want to make you happy. But it’s also a natural reaction to wonder why exactly you want to bring a toy into the bedroom you share in the first place. They may worry it’s because they’re not satisfying you or that you’re otherwise unhappy with your sex life.

Reassure them that your interest in trying a toy is not a knock on them. Make sure they understand that a toy could never, ever replace them and that you’re already delighted with the sex you’re having. Bringing a toy on board is more like going to a new restaurant for date night. It’s not that you no longer like the old restaurants you already go to. It’s just that it’s fun and exciting to try something new occasionally… together.

4. Keep your initial choice approachable.

If you do manage to interest your partner in giving a toy a try, you can offer to do the shopping for both of you the first time around. Discuss some of the different options out there, ask if there’s anything, in particular, they’d like to try, and keep their preferences in mind as you shop.

But keep things sensible and approachable, as well. In other words, don’t go for anything too big or intimidating right off the bat. Options like vibrating bullets, cock rings, or wearable couple’s massagers make excellent first picks that bring a lot of versatility to the table. There’s always room to branch out more when it comes to future purchases.

5. Keep the good vibrations going.

Once you’ve been enjoying your first toy or two for a while, you’ll likely find you’re both ready to keep exploring. Consider starting a whole pleasure chest full of goodies you can add to over time. A monthly adult subscription box is an excellent way to add lots of variety for one monthly price. Of course, you can occasionally shop for choice items together, as well.

Toys are only one way to make an already incredible sex life even more fun and exciting, but they’re a very effective one that’s well worth exploring. You won’t be sorry if you give the idea of using them with your partner a try, guaranteed.