10 Ways to Get Rejected for Sex

by Doreen Barker 16 days ago in advice

Men, please stop doing these things in an attempt to get laid

10 Ways to Get Rejected for Sex
Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

Guys, we need to have a little chat. There are things you do that are really pathetic when you are trying to get laid. Doesn't matter if you're in a relationship, married or single. Women still want to feel wanted and sexy.

1. Stop asking "Wanna f*ck?" This is the single most childish and immature thing to ask. Our proverbial clams snap shut and we internally cringe. Maybe we do but the way it's asked is crude and demeaning. Use a little effort. Try using something more effective. Especially if it's a girl/woman you really like. Tip: Ask things like, "Can I kiss you?" or "Can I feel your body pressed against mine?" Don't insinuate nakedness.

2. Stop dropping comments about having sex. Do you think if you drop enough comments that eventually we will cave and give you head? I don't want to hear about all the things you can do with your dick. Start by giving them a reason to fulfill those fantasies you have. Compliments work well as an alternative. Build a mental image of why you find her attractive and what your fantasies of her are. Just remember, this isn't porn, so be selective. Tip: Talk with effectiveness. Ask things like, "Wouldn't it be amazing for you to sit on my lap and kiss me until I'm ready to ravish you?" Give her the power to decide. Maybe ask something like, "Do you know how sexy you are when you bend over?"

3. Stop making everything about your dick. We honestly don't care if your hard and need adjusting. The only time we do is when we instigate that erection. In this instance, just stop talking. Let us kiss you until you can barely breathe and then let us feel how hard we've made you. Let her feel empowered by that. Anything less feels creepy. Tip: You don't need to reference everything back to your dick. We get it, you're proud of it (or not) and want us to acknowledge your personal sword. But here's a tip, women want to be able to know THEY wield that sword and you are just the one that carries it for them.

4. For mercy's sake, please stop telling us you are going to own our vaginas. It's demeaning and makes an empowered woman lose their minds. We already have enough people in the world telling us what to do with our vaginas. We don't need a hook up telling us what to do too. Hate to say this, but we aren't toys or playthings that will bend to your will. I promise if you think you can own a female your relationship or sexual experience with her will be very short lives. Some women do like to be submissive and be "owned" like that, most probably don't in today's society. Not only that, your ego is in desperate need of a self-check bud. Don't worry, we know how to take care of our own needs here without the tool attached to it. Tip: If you want to "own" a woman, go hit up a BDSM site or club and find a submissive. We aren't sex slaves generally, even if we do have a healthy appetite for sex. We prefer being a willing partner to being owned.

5. Stop demanding time when you aren't willing to commit. This is one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to men. You don't get the right to know every second of every day if you aren't willing to share your own too. In fact, doing this to women usually drives them insane in a hurry. It demonstrates a lack of trust on your part. You may think it's cute to send a million texts of "what are you doing?" but it's not. That's some high school crap. Try sending little love or sexy messages instead. Tip: Use better tactics like, "I can't stop thinking about you." Even better give a detailed message like, "I can't stop thinking about those (insert adjective) gorgeous (insert description/color) blue (insert body part) eyes and (motion/reaction) how they look after I kiss you."

6. STOP sending dick pics! This should be common sense, yet somehow my inbox has more than enough. I've heard of countless women that have this happen too. We don't ask for them, just don't send them. We don't get all hot and bothered just seeing your penis. Just doesn't work that way for us ladies. Men who think their dick is that special is the biggest turn-off to women. Tip: Women love to share. So your dick pic will be shared with a group of our closest friends. It will become public knowledge and we will spend time over wine, laughing about it. Just don't send them, even if it is asked for. Have some respect for yourself here. Humility goes a long way here.

7. Stop asking when she says no. If you ask a woman for sex and she rejects you, begging or demanding won't work either. In fact, it will ruin your chances in the future too. It's annoying and we shouldn't need to defend any reason we may have for saying no. Tip: A no means no. End of discussion.

8. Stop being clingy or needy. We don't want a boy we need to babysit and we sure as hell don't need to be babysat. This demonstrates your issues and is a major turn-off to most women, especially self-empowered women. We don't have time for this nonsense. Tip: If you feel the urge to be clingy or needy, evaluate why you feel that way and work toward fixing it. It's unhealthy for you and those you may get involved with. Your issues brought into a relationship will cause a lot of issues. The same goes for any female that may do this as well.

9. Stop saying the phrase "You're not like other girls." We want to feel special. Of course, we do, but give us reasons on why. If you are going to pander to our egos, make it worth our time with details. Tip: This is where more description works miracles. Try, "Most girls (you may really want to say woman) don't have your sense of humor. I love the way you make me laugh." It doesn't matter what attribute it is, just makes us feel uniquely special WITH something to back it up. Generalized statements are lame and don't seem like there is any true effort to know anything about us.

10. Stop ghosting! This is one that drives me insane. You have no idea how many men do this. It seems to be the new way to say "I'm interested but only on my terms." It literally takes seconds to send a quick text. There are zero excuses for this behavior. If you are interested, say so. If you're busy, say so. Tip: If you feel the need to disconnect, tell the woman that you are. You don't need to give reasons, just say something like "Hey, just wanted to tell you that I need to step back and evaluate somethings." Communication goes a long way here. Just be honest. We can take it and not go crazy. Ghosting makes us crazy. Women by nature worry and when you disappear, we worry that you have been hurt or that we have failed somehow. You may get away with it once, but it destroys trust too.

Guys, I know you like to think that women are complex. We really aren't. We just want to feel special, wanted, sexy, and not be treated like a fun toy or a prostitute. Sure, we are emotional beings but, we also want to have just as much fun between the sheets. You don't need to treat us like princesses/queens, just treat us with respect. Even if it's a one time hook up, just be respectful. Nothing gets a woman wetter and ready to jump into bed that being respected and empowered. Let her take some modicum of control and I'll promise she will make your efforts worthwhile.

Letting her make the decisions in progress instead of pushing will make this process much easier on you both. Let her find her comfort zone and she will lose her inhibitions. We all know what lost inhibitions mean... better sex. So, you get what you give here. A little effort will get that train chugging down the tracks a whole lot faster.

advice
Doreen Barker
Doreen Barker
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