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10 Steps to a Loving Female Led Relationship

Female leadership should be authoritative, caring and beneficial to both

By Alexa MartinezPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
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A female-led relationship (FLR) is a relationship where the man and woman agree that the woman takes leadership. It overturns the old-fashioned concept that the man is the family provider and leader.

I have covered the reasons why you should consider an FLR before in this article Develop a Female Led Relationship, if you wish to refresh yourself on the benefits.

Sometimes an FLR agreement is tacit, other times explicit. At its most basic tacit level, the woman is the overall lead of the relationship but that's about it. We see this type of FLR everyday, there is no fetish element or any formal agreement. It's just the woman is the stronger of the two and takes certain decisions. The couple may not even realise it's an FLR.

At the other end of the scale, the woman has total control over the man in every aspect of the relationship. This includes any decisions, making choices for him, the household financials and even his clothing. The male takes on the traditional housewife role in the household. This will often include wearing female clothing.

Whatever the type of FLR on the scale of tacit to explicit, the woman has the authority and that authority is recognised.

I have lived an FLR for more than eight years and these are my ten steps to ensure an effective Female Led Relationship.

Step 1 - Agree the FLR

The first step is to make the agreement. I believe that the tacit agreements are fine, but I prefer to have this out in the open and acknowledged

The idea of Female Led Relationships has elements of fantasy for many men, FLR must not be a male fantasy game. That's a part-time one-way benefit not an agreement.

All too often I get emails from husbands asking me how they can persuade their wives to agree to their FLR fantasy. Persuade? What's in it for the woman here? That's a game not a relationship.

No an FLR has to be real. Real accepted authority for the lady.

On the other side of the coin, it's not about abusing your new-found authority for the lady.

The man has to genuinely agree to hand over real power to his wife, for ever,. The woman has to use that level of power lovingly for the benefit of both.

The benefit that I get as the female leader is that I am loved, adored, cared for, and my needs are put first. That doesn't mean it's just about me though, just that Amy husband puts my happiness first. My husband is released from the stresses of being in charge.

STEP 2 - THE MAN WILL TAKE ON THE TRADITIONAL HOUSEWIFE ROLE

Yes, you read that right. The man takes on the housewife role. This si the next step.

In a real-life FLR agreement, the man will be the one who primarily cooks, cleans, irons, washes and does the housework. Traditional role reversal. I'm not even talking about sharing.

Maybe the man stays home with the kids, if they're still young. He may even still work on top of all this. Welcome to the old world for women. It's your lifestyle now Mr Husband.

Meanwhile, the woman goes to work; her job is the most important. She has financial control, determines the financial priorities for the household and makes sure the bills are paid.

STEP 3 - THE MAN DRESSES TO PLEASE THE WOMAN

Yes you read that right too. For too long women have put on high heels, worn short revealing skirts and so on for the benefit of men.

Well, things change in an FLR; it's the other way round now.

Once the male takes on the traditional 'housewife' role in a successful female-led relationship, the previous male/female norms have to change.

Now it's the man who has to look attractive and sexy for his woman.

When the female leader returns home after a day in the office, she should expect a clean and tidy home, a meal and a pretty husband waiting expectantly for her.

Feminisation of the male partner is not necessarily part of an FLR. In the more basic versions a man will just ensure he looks attractive, but as a male. At the other end of the scale, where I am, I believe that feminisation of my husband is fundamental. This includes putting him in female clothing, including skirts and dresses, and referring to him as a girl and using feminine pet names such as petal, princess and flower.

Typical clothing for my husband at home

Feminisation softens a male and changes his character. It removes all the nasty effects of masculinity and replaces them with more gentle feminine characteristics. Men can't be macho while wearing a pretty skirt and this helps the FLR to function effectively.

STEP 4 - DO NOT CHANGE YOUR INTERESTS AND HOBBIES

It's not my role as a female leader to make my husband's life miserable in order to satisfy a stereotype of a traditional female role. This is a real-life relationship not a fantasy game.

The female clothing and re-naming is sufficient. My husband continues to enjoy sport and i enjoy cooking when I have time.

STEP 5 - A WOMAN DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE THE DECISIONS 24/7

I love being in charge. My husband says I'm bossy. Surely not? Bossy? Moi? That said, I really don't want a wimpy husband who makes no decisions and asks me what to do or for permission for everything.

Within the loose set of agreed rules we live by, my husband makes decisions for us too.

My husband can choose what clothes to wear, as long as it is within the confines of a skirt or a dress, for example. I don't want to be choosing his clothes every morning.

STEP 6 - DISCIPLINE NEEDS TO BE CONSENSUAL

I do believe in discipline, I believe it provides a regular reminder of the asynchronicity of an FLR and to punish a husband's poor behaviour.

The type of punishment and level is agreed upfront once the FLR has been decided.

This discipline is through mild spanking or slapping. Punishment is intended make the point and not to actually hurt physically. I have made it ritualistic to show that it's about correcting behaviour.

STEP 7 - DECIDE ON YOUR LEVEL OF FLR FOR THE OUTSIDE WORLD

The lower levels of an FLR are probably acceptable to the outside world. How many times have you heard the expression "she wears the trousers in that marriage."

It's when you go the the other extreme, as we have, that an FLR can maybe become a problem socially. Especially when you link your FLR with encouraged feminisation.

I think a hidden FLR / enforced feminisation behind closed doors, such as ours, is still an extremely rewarding relationship lifestyle. It's better than no FLR at all anyway.

STEP 8 - RESPECT EACH OTHER'S BOUNDARIES

As a loving couple, you need to respect the boundaries of each other or it won't work. In our FLR, that mostly means I need to respect Amy husband's boundaries as I don't have too many.

So this means I don't ask him to wear female clothing outside the home. I do call him princess or girl but not when we're with family or friends.

STEP 9 - DON'T EXPECT AN FLR TO BE PERFECT

So you have agreed to live an FLR, the husband is in a pretty skirt and you spank him to maintain discipline. He cooks and cleans the home. All is perfect and the sun is always shining. Right. In your dreams.

Transferring power to the woman has an amazing effect in reducing tensions and arguments. Note, I said reduce not eliminate. Expect disagreements and some bumps in the road as in any relationship.

Whatever happens, an FLR will be better than a traditional relationship.

STEP 10 - DON'T FORGET TO PLAY

It's not all work and normality of course. An FLR can be an immensely erotic and sensual relationship; there's a tension that's exciting.

Enjoy it.

A SUCCESSFUL FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT BALANCE

No matter what type of FLR relationship you're in, you need to make sure you have some balance and to respect each other. It's not all about the woman being a dominatrix 24/7 or the man being a submissive wimp. It's real-life.

If you work at it and set the limits, it can be extremely satisfying.

Alexa Martinez is an author and blogger from London who writes about the benefits and attractions of female-led relationships and male feminisation. Alexa writes using the pen name, Lady Alexa and her books can be found on Amazon, Kobo, Smashwords, D2D, Apple, Barnes & Noble and many other book sites.

Alexa's blog can be found at www.ladyalexauk.com

relationships
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About the Creator

Alexa Martinez

Alexa is an author and blogger on Female-Led Relationships, Feminisation and Femdom using her pen name Lady Alexa. Her fetish novels can be found on most online bookstores such as Amazon, Smashwords, Apple Books and many more.

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