10 Goals to Strengthen Your Relationship

The quality of your relationship depends on more than just how much time you spend together.

Whether you have been with your significant other for one month or ten years, there are likely some habits that can be strengthened to improve the stability and longevity of your relationship.

This list of ten goals you can set to improve your relationship will give you something concrete to work towards as you explore new ways to make your partner feel important and loved.

Show appreciation

Tell your partner how much you love them.

Compliment them on a job well done. Showing genuine appreciation for those around you can go a long way.

After all, we don’t want our relationships to be transactional—we want them to be about mutual respect and adoration for each other!

So go ahead and shower that special someone with some unconditional positive regard (couples who express gratitude have higher happiness levels, too).

Cut out, toxic people

While it can be hard to cut toxic people out of your life, it’s essential.

Whether they’re friends, family members, or co-workers, these people tend to drag you down and are emotionally draining.

You may feel angry, lonely, or resentful when spending time with them.

When possible, avoid being around these people as much as possible.

If that isn’t an option, make sure you have a strong support system in place so that you don’t feel isolated in their presence.

Share responsibility

In a long-term relationship, it’s easy for partners to default into roles: One of you handles finances, another one takes charge of communications, etc.

But each partner in a relationship must take an active role in day-to-day organization and communication.

Whether you decide who pays bills and schedules appointments together or pick up one thing on your partner’s plate each week, sharing responsibility is key to strengthening your relationship.

Have fun together

Relationships thrive when there is love and laughter.

Spend time with your spouse doing things you both enjoy. Make sure your date nights are fun and inexpensive so that you can spend more time with each other without breaking your budget.

Dates don’t have to be expensive or elaborate; pick something that you’ll both enjoy, like going for a hike in a state park or ice skating at an indoor rink.

It’s important to keep dating even after marriage because it helps keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

Be creative! It doesn’t matter if you do anything traditional as long as it gives you both an opportunity to connect deeper.

A great way to make dates unique is by surprising your spouse with them – whether breakfast in bed or tickets to a show they love but would never splurge on themselves.

It will let them know how much they mean to you!

Remember, it’s normal to argue

Couples always argue, says Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life. Think about it.

There’s nothing normal about having two people spend their lives together—and not get on each other’s nerves every once!

And yes, when you love someone, these disagreements can get serious quickly.

Listen more than talk

It’s easy to get busy in a relationship, especially when children, jobs, and other stressors.

One way to maintain a strong bond with your partner is by making time for them—even if that means doing an activity, you don’t enjoy.

If you’re constantly talking without listening, it will be difficult for your spouse to open up.

Instead of giving advice, ask what he needs and listen attentively.

Give each other space

Like good friends, romantic partners need time apart from each other.

When you spend every minute together, you grow accustomed to one another—and that familiarity can breed a lack of love and appreciation.

Create space by carving out individual hobbies and interests.

It might take some effort to plan your events, but it’s worth it to reconnect with your partner in new ways even if you don’t have very much time alone, schedule date nights, or regular social outings with just your significant other.

Even an hour spent away from home is enough to give both of you a break from routine and remind yourselves why you like being around each other so much.

Work on communicating more effectively

Communication is key in any healthy relationship.

The best partners are good listeners, which means they’re open-minded and responsive.

To encourage positive communication patterns between you and your partner, make each other feel heard and regularly understood—whether discussing your day at work or planning your upcoming family vacation.

Don’t take things personally

It’s easy to take things too personally when you’re in a relationship, especially when things are tense.

Remind yourself that your partner is not deliberately trying to drive you crazy—they have their issues and personal quirks that they don’t even realize they have.

Approach your interactions with them as if they were a stranger, and you’ll begin to see things from a more objective point of view.

Praise each other

Starting today, make a point of praising each other for everything you do.

Make sure your partner knows that you love them for who they are—not just for what they do. A little flattery goes a long way!

For example, if your spouse cooks dinner tonight and it’s their best effort yet, let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.

It will show them that you notice their hard work and care about making their day easier.

And when they praise you in return, be sure to listen and thank them for their support.

Every relationship needs regular doses of appreciation—and there’s no better time than now to start showing yours!