You Watched Me Fall

Come on. Stop looking at me like that. It’s your fault I'm in this position...go get some help!

If only an owl could.

Well I guess you’re company at least, someone to vent to... Aidan’s gonna kill me: he's always said not to get distracted by the animals along the roadsides.

Ponies, llamas, sheep, cows, chickens, and this time a Barn Owl. Why were you flying over during the day?

I squealed and pointed as usual. This time to myself; Lucky, I suppose, that no one was in the car with me. No other vehicles about.

So distracted by you I ran myself off the road. How pathetic. Worse because I think I'm such a good driver. And here I am: At the bottom of a ravine, after ploughing through a dry stone wall, and plummiting upside down.

I can't see anything but you and this shattered car around me and the brush and trees and snow. Typical it’s getting dark now...and it's so bloody cold. I'm guessing it's hit the minuses. Proud I’m a practical gal at least: sort of dressed for it. Got my snow boots on. And my insulated coat.

I'm wondering if you could possibly pass me my finger back now? Sweet how I can't actually feel it. I'm not in any pain. Hmm. Maybe that's shock or cold or both.

Pretty glad I can't feel my legs. So bent over this wheel and crushed in the car. Weird having my head touch the ceiling. Usually, it's only tall people sat next to me or my hair in a bun that does that. I'm so glad Brody isn't here. My little baby.

Great. Now my breasts are filling with milk. Stop thinking about him, stop thinking about him. Can't find my frickin’ phone.

I always say I should keep my phone on my person, even in the car, just in case of emergencies occurring and what did I do? I put it down in between the seats to charge on the charger, and now it's flung back God knows where, probably far out in the snow...

I don't think anyone's gonna see these hazard lights.

No, they’ve got to see them.

Okay, just wait. Just wait. Oh will you stop watching me?! Seriously just get me that bloody finger. I mean it! What am I going to do for driving without a finger? Will they let me drive without a finger? How did I lose just one digit? I think I must be in shock: I'm talking absolute bollocks to myself, swearing at an owl who’d rather eat my finger than pass it. I can't breathe, I can't breathe. Okay, okay come on Casey, just man up, you've been taught to survive so survive!

This wheel is so tight into my stomach. Feels like I'm wearing a corset. I can't breathe. I feel something warm. I don't know if I've peed myself or if it's blood. Oh God, I don't want to know.

Damn that owl, it’s like he knows he caused it. No, I can't blame him; my stupidity. Damned animals.

Oh Aidan, please I just want to be home.

Maybe it's his fault: I didn't want to go to the doctor's today. I didn't want those blood tests, I don't want to know. Ha, maybe my head problem has got that bad that this is all in my head!

Okay, okay, let's see what I can feel. I can feel my fingers, except the one that’s missing. I can kind of feel my stomach. I can feel my face. My head is banging. I can hardly move my neck but then I am squashed against the roof.

I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my feet.

It’s weird but now when I close my eyes and see those irritating white flashes that look like Koi carp, zipping past the corner of my eyes, it's kind of comforting. Even though there's something wrong; the optometrist said my eyes look healthy, and it might be my brain...I don't really want to know.

Maybe it was worrying about that that distracted me when I was driving. Maybe I shouldn't blame the owl or Aidan.

I just want to get home.

Hold on, I can hear something...Shit, I can’t shout! My voice isn't working. There's definitely somebody there.

Oh God. Please, please, please see the lights!

If I could just get my arm up I could press the horn. Please!

Thank you owl for staying with me and I’m sorry for all the commotion. I’ve disturbed your hunting. Thank you.

Oh God. They’ve gone. I can’t hear them. Oh pleaaase.

I can feel warm milk coming through my shirt. Jeez I’m a mess. I put my worst undies on this morning, I’ve not even shaved. Not the best state to be found in ha! Yes, keep going Casey: make yourself laugh, keep those spirits up. Oh no my mother-if she has to help Aidan out with Brody she’ll see the house: It’s in such a state. Oh no, of all days to crash...

No, no, no please don’t leave me owl, Shit!

“Shit!”

“Argh,” I can hear me, I can hear me!

“Help! Someone...Help...”

I can taste blood.

It’s so cold. No I’m being nesh.

Jeez, Casey scream again, c’mon!

Oh my God I see flashing lights.

“Help...”

Thank you owl. Don’t die now.

Please, don’t die now.

I love you Aidan, I love you Brody.

These koi carp are so annoying...