World in Tatters Ch 23

I lean back against the wall between our doors, letting my weight slide down to the floor. I’m careful not to make any noise. I don’t want to disturb the others. I feel my head swimming from all the alcohol. As I sit there listening to Alice and Rachel talking, I hear the faint purr from the other side of their door. Rachel’s obnoxious cat must have found himself a nice warm spot for the night.

I’m not really sure how Rex has stayed with us this long. Three years. With as much as we move around, it’s kind-of impressive that he’s been able…and willing…to stick around. If I’m honest, I actually like the little bugger, just don’t tell him that.

“Steven told me what happened to your parents.” I hadn’t been paying much attention to the conversation in the girls’ room, but that sentence makes my ears prick up.

“Yeah…I don’t like talking about it. None of us do.” I hear the bed springs creak and light footfalls padding across the floor.

“I know. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“…No. It’s okay.” There’s something about Rachel’s voice that strikes me as strange. There’s no sadness in it at all. She seems almost detached. “A lot has happened since then. I mean, it was like five years ago.”

“That doesn’t necessarily make it easier. You can take that from me.”

“Oh, yeah.” Rachel seems to snap back into reality, allowing curiosity to take over. “Bert didn’t tell us much. What the hell happened back in Atlanta?” After a long pause, “Sorry…I do that sometimes. You know, ask blunt or invasive questions without much warning. The guys think it’s annoying.”

For the record, that’s not true. I don’t find it annoying. At least, not anymore.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” See, Alice knows what’s up. I just think that tact is a useful tool. One Rachel hasn’t yet mastered. “Anyway, I don’t mind talking about it with you. Bertrand and my other friends in Picayune helped me get through some of it. I’m still dealing with some of it.” Alice’s voice turns almost melancholy. “Besides, I think of all people, you might understand.”

“So…Then what happened?”

“Sheesh. Where do I start?”

“I dunno. What’d you do after we left Atlanta?”

“Well, for a while, everything seemed alright. I mean, you guys went away a lot. It wasn’t unusual. But then, a year passed. Then two. I was kinda lonely. I really missed you guys. I was scared something had happened to you. After that, everything in Atlanta went pear-shaped. My mother’s government was toppled. From the inside, far as we could tell.

“From what Bertrand’s told me, there was a report about some conspiracy in the higher levels of the Alliance government that came to light almost a year-and-a-half before things got really bad. No one took it seriously. Even my mom brushed it off as a hoax and rumor at first. Publicly, anyway.

“Then, one day, in front of a gathering of the full Alliance Parliament…including my mother, her cabinet, and several advisors… even I was there… One of the Savanna representatives pulled a gun, and opened fire. He started it, but others quickly joined in. Like they were waiting for his signal. Everything was chaos. Bertrand whisked me away right as a small army burst through the chamber doors. They killed most of the representatives, took the rest hostage. I guess they figured they could use them as leverage.”

Alice and I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk about what had happened to her back then. I’d been hoping to hear it from her in person some time. Listening to her now, I feel more guilt than ever about not going back there. I mean…there isn’t much I could have done, but maybe I could have been there for her.

I dunno. Maybe I give myself too much credit. If we had been there, what would have been different? The coup would have happened either way, and we may have just ended up dead alongside so many others.

“Bertrand and a few other guards got me out of dodge pretty quick. Everything got messed up really quick. I was only seventeen, but as my mother’s daughter, everyone was looking to me to do something. To lead them.” Alice’s tone darkens as though the pain she was trying to keep at bay came rushing back. “And I failed them.”

There is a long pause before Rachel’s quiet response. “I don’t know what to say. You really don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“I’m okay.” Alice seems to lighten up a little bit, but the pain is still present. “Plus, I know you’re curious. You don’t have to hide it.”

“That obvious?”

“Little bit.”

“So, what happened?”

“The remaining guards helped me rally as many loyalists as we could. Some of them convinced me that we should investigate what happened. We wasted weeks trying to figure out who masterminded the coup, but we didn’t find much. The only thing we did find was that there was an outside influence. The coup was sponsored and funded from outside.

“At some point, we heard a rumor that the new regime had a few of the higher ups—my mom, some advisors and representatives—locked up in the basement of the capitol building. I…let my feelings get the best of me. I wanted so bad to rescue my mom, that I led the charge trying to retake the capitol.” Alice’s voice suddenly got really low. I could barely hear her through the door. “I…uh…Bertrand and I were the only ones who made it back. The others were all slaughtered.

“Bertrand pulled me out. We fled the city. About a year ago, Bertrand and I got separated not far from here. A friend and his wife took me in for a little while. George and Rowena. Your brother actually got to meet them the other day. Not under ideal circumstances, but still. They helped me track down Bertrand until we were reunited. We’d lived there ever since. Started working odd jobs. Made some resistance friends. They made us the connections we needed to start the coyote business. The rest is kinda just…history, you know?”

“Is that how you met Chris?”

“Not exactly. Only met him about three months ago, I was shopping near the stables, and we ran into each other. We got to talking, bought him some food. We became friends. You don’t like him very much, do you?”

“I didn’t. I didn’t trust him.” There’s something about Rachel’s tone. Guilt, I’d wager. “I mean, look how we met him.”

“Steven told me.”

“I doubt he told you everything.” The guilt is gone from her voice, replaced by something I can’t place. I hear Rachel’s footsteps approaching the door. Rex protests as she lifts him up from the floor.

“Um… What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Nevermind. Don’t worry about it.” Something about that day is eating at her. I can tell. Honestly, I hadn’t been thinking much about those events recently. Too much other stuff going on to really dwell on that part.

“Rachel…You can tell me.”

“It was so fast. Too many of them. We never even got a shot off.” Her voice trails off. If I didn’t know her better, I’d suspect she was crying. Even so, her words were sobering. In that moment I realize how absent I’ve been. I didn’t see it because I wasn’t there, and I’d let it slip my mind.

“I see.” It was a long time before either of them said anything. I can only imagine what Rachel’s been thinking. I feel like I should say something. I start to get up, and reach out to knock on their door. My hand is only a couple inches from it when I hear Alice’s voice again. “Rach… You’re not alone, you know?”

“You weren’t there. You have no idea how…” I rest my hand on the door, leaning my forehead against it. I decide to just listen instead of bothering them.

“How it felt? Can I take a crack at it?” When Rachel answers with silence, “Helpless. Terrified. Weak. Maybe you felt like the world was caving in, and there was nothing you could do about it. Maybe you fought and you fought, but they overpowered you. And none of that fear went away when Steven intervened. Am I close?”

“I still have bruises on my arms. They threw us around like we were nothing.” Rachel’s voice cracks. A crack that spreads out from her straight through me. With my head to the door, I hear the creak from the bedsprings and a faint whimper from Rachel’s crying. A stream of tears trickles down my cheek, Rachel’s anguish heavy in the air.

I want to be able to comfort her. I want to be able to be there, but she…I don’t think she needs me right now. Especially not while I’m still drunk. I push myself away from the door and stumble over to my own room, hesitating for a moment before quietly slipping inside.

Jason and Chris are still fast asleep. I stagger over to my nest and lie down, my head still swimming from the booze. It doesn’t take long for me to fall into a deep sleep. Fortunately, this time, I find myself dreamless.

*****

I wake up around sunrise to the sounds of someone trapsing around the room. When I open my eyes, the light from the morning sun threatens to split my head in two. I think I might have overdone it last night. My head is killing me.

Once my eyes adjust, I notice Chris rifling through his gear. The noise from it grates on my already thin nerves. “Chris, what are you doing?” I raise my hand to my face, rubbing my eyes.

“Nothing, I just can’t find…” His voice trails off as he continues to dig through his pack.

“Where’s Jason?”

“Oh, I think he headed down to the tavern with Rachel to get some breakfast.”

“What about Alice?”

“Still asleep I think.”

“That sounds about right. Ah!” I grip my head as wave of pain hits.

Chris looks up from his task, “You okay?”

“Yeah…I will be. Just a bit of a hangover. I made a trip downstairs after y’all went to sleep. Ugh…My head feels like someone’s beating on it, and my tongue feels like lead. You got any water over there?”

“Yeah, sure.” Chris grabs a full waterskin from a table nearby and tosses it over to me. “You gonna be up for recon today?”

Taking a few large gulps from the flask. “Of course.” A loud yawn forces its way out of my chest. “Once I wake up a little and get some food in me, I’ll be fine. Thanks for your concern.” Chris chuckles slightly before returning to his search. “What’re you looking for anyway?”

“Just a pendant. My mother gave it to me.”

A small shiny object under the bed catches my eye. I groan as I rise from my blanket nest and walk over to the bed. Reaching down to pick up the object, “Is this what you’re looking for?”

I hold up the little medallion by its chain. Now that I get a close look, I see the image of a winged man etched into the face. The words “Saint Gabriel Archangel Pray For Us” carved around the rim.

“Yeah. That’s it! Thanks.” Chris excitedly reaches out and takes the pendant from my hand.

“St. Gabriel, huh? Patron of Messengers, as I recall, right?”

“I wouldn’t know anything about that. My mom said it was an heirloom. Something to protect me. She gave it to me just before telling me about my birth father.”

“Was she religious?”

“Not that I ever knew. But apparently, there were a lot of things she kept from me.”

“You know, now that we’re in Hattiesburg, you could go home. After you help us get to your father, I hope you’ll realize that you don’t owe us anything. You can go see your mom. Your stepdad, siblings. I’m sure they’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m pretty sure they think I’m dead by now.”

“So, prove them wrong?”

“I don’t know if I could face them after what I did.”

“What you did? You mean trying to confront your birth father? The man who raped your mother?” I realize my mistake as soon as the words are out. Chris’ eyes drop to the floor. Apparently, Rachel isn’t the only one who needs to practice tact.

“It’s not just that. I…I didn’t just go to confront him.” Chris hesitates for just a moment before continuing. His fingers tighten around the pendant’s chain. His expression shifts between multiple emotions: anger, guilt, fear, hatred. “I went there with every intention of putting a bullet in his brain. I took my stepfather’s hunting rifle with me. I was going to kill him for what he did. And he would have deserved it too. I hunted him. When I got close, I realized that that wasn’t who I wanted to be. I hesitated. That’s how his men caught me.”

“Ah. I’m sure your mom would understand. Anything you did, or didn’t do—as the case may be—I’m sure they could forgive if they get to have you back.” A quick wave of sadness passes over me, “I know I would give anything to see my mom again. My dad too. I’m sure your parents feel the same.”

“You may be right.”

“Anyway, I think that’s all the heart to heart I can handle before breakfast. Go on downstairs. I’m gonna wake up Alice and meet you down there.”

With a slight smile and a bit of a chuckle, “Alright.” Chris slips his pendant around his neck before rushing off down the hall.