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"Good M-"
"Shhh." My wife hushed me with a kind smile. Her eyes wrinkled in the corners as they met my gaze.
I cocked my head to the side in confusion as I paused in the doorway. I waited for an explanation in silence.
My wife's smile broadened, and her eyes twinkled with joy. Then she pulled her gaze from my confused form and nodded to something outside the scope of the porch.
I followed her gaze until I saw the young neighbour boys as they played in their front yard.
They were tightly bundled in head-to-toe winter suits with colourful mittens and boots. The two boys had built a snow ramp to race their sleds down.
I smiled at their creativity and quietly closed the door before I sat beside my wife on our front porch. I handed her a mug of coffee as we continued to watch the boys from behind the steam of our mugs.
We could hear the older one, Ralph, shout orders at the younger one like a misinformed drill sergeant. Until he was satisfied with the course they had built and they headed to the 'starting line', as they called it.
"Ready, Randy?" The older one asked.
"Ready." The younger agreed with an excited nod.
"Set go!" The older one called out, and they launched their sleds onto the snowy ramp, winding down their front yard towards the road.
Then, with the squealing sound of the tires coming to an abrupt halt, everything changed.
About the Creator
Donna Fox (HKB)
Thank you for stopping by!! 💚💙💜🩵
If you are interested in longer works by me, I have two books published on Amazon.
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Comments (14)
Ouch! For them and for me, lol. Such an abrupt and dark end to a well-developed intro... So glad I read it!
Oh, fuck. Did not see that coming. I guess no one does.
Oh F**K!!! That ending punched me right in the face! I never saw that coming. Great story-telling.
The tyres stopped because Ralph was an alien from Krypton with superpowers and he simply pushed the car out of the way, right? RIGHT?
Oh my god. I was like... what a cute story and then BAM!!!! ha! I wasn't expecting that ending! Great stuff.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that ending had me cackling!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was like "Oh okay, two adults enjoying coffee while looking at those kids" and before I could finish my thought completely, you gave me the best gift anyone could ever give me! Hehehehehehehehehhe thank you so much for that! I was truly so pleasantly surprised!! Anyone reading my comment would be questioning what kinda monster am I 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 People, I'm the worst kind!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Loved your story so freaking much D!
I think my jaw is still hanging open and my mind is still trying to process!! AHHHH!!!! That felt like getting hit with a car. Great job!!
DONNA HOW COULD YOU?! I was not ready for such heart ache! This was me:😌-😊-🥰☕️-THEN BAM😱💔 Do you see how there was no space for me to process before the horror? I'm deceased💀 Lol, but in all seriousness, nice twist. It really got me... now excuse me while I go get my poor heart checked.
Ooh, very spooky there at the end.
Oh no!! You done pulled a fast one on me, Donna!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 This was so well done, it put a smile of fond remembering on my face. Then you swept the rug out from under me and showed off the horror beneath 😱 masterfully crafted!
Oh no. Good but dark. 🙀
Oh no! This flashed me back to sledding my grandmother's house in Heber, AZ as a kid! There was a blind curve in a paved road at the bottom of the hill and we shot straight across it. We were so lucky!
Fascinating story
Holy sheeeeeeeet Donna. Loved this. Dark as anything though.