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Snowy Serenity

I was peaceful here...

By Donna Fox (HKB)Published about a month ago β€’ Updated about a month ago β€’ 1 min read
Top Story - January 2024
34
Snowy Serenity
Photo by Aaron Huber on Unsplash

I watched as the mist of my breath puffed out from behind my lips and rose into the blue oblivion above me, that served as a backdrop for the winter wonderland I looked down on.

The sun sparkled off of the snow-covered surfaces within the valley. It coated the branches of the trees, clung to the needles on the pine trees and painted the hilly landscape.

Another puff of misty breath escaped my lips as I watched nature in its purest form.

The birds fluttered from tree to tree, squirrels chased one another and small critters scampered under the cover of the snow-laden branches.

A deer trotted into the clearing, its copper fur contrasted with the evergreen and white background.

I watched as it pawed at the snow in an attempt to uncover the grass below.

I pause in the peacefulness of the moment, speechless as my breath caught in my throat from the sheer elegance. Nothing will ever be as beautiful as this moment in time.

.

.

.

Until I remembered why I came out here, and my heart began to race in panic again. The cold began to sting my bare skin as I looked down at my blood-covered hands and everything came rushing back to the forefront of my mind.

I sucked in a deep chilling breath and an unearthly scream unleashed itself from my lungs.

Breaking the peaceful scene before me, the deer bolted and the birds burst out of the trees in their flock.

Short StoryMicrofictionHorrorExcerpt
34

About the Creator

Donna Fox (HKB)

Thank you for your support and feedback! πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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Comments (27)

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  • Anna 12 days ago

    Congrats on Top Story!πŸ₯³

  • L.C. SchΓ€fer27 days ago

    Did not expect the turn this took!

  • Norreida Reyes30 days ago

    Exquisite imagery. Compelling twist. I want to read the rest of this story!!

  • Andrea Corwin about a month ago

    Oh, the horror in the elegance io the snowy scenery! πŸ™€

  • Grz Colmabout a month ago

    Hey HKB. Loved your little micro. I have assumed they were disposing of a body or something similar. I liked the false sense of security! πŸ˜„ Hope you are going well. ☺️

  • Dorotaabout a month ago

    Nice, well done. πŸ‘

  • Kendall Defoe about a month ago

    That was disturbing...

  • Lamar Wigginsabout a month ago

    Well, at least they found a moment of escape before reality came back. Nice turn of events, Donna! And congrats!

  • Naveed about a month ago

    Thumbs up for your effort! Keep the outstanding workβ€”congrats!

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Oooo, bloodddddd!!!! That made me grin soooooo muchhhhhh!! I wonder who did they kill. Or maybe attempted to kill. Or maybe they killed the attempted killer and got away. Or maybe they accidentally put their hand in a paper shredder. Or maybe they stole some blood from the blood bank. Or maybe they smeared fake blood all over their house to fake their own death. I just loveeeeeeeeee how many possibilities there are!! If you ever plan to continue this, please know that I'd devour it! Hehehehehehehe. This was sooooooo awesomeeee! I freaking loved it so much! Congratulations on your Top Story! πŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠ

  • Tina D'Angeloabout a month ago

    Yikes! Peaceful imagery and BAM! Well done, girlie!

  • Mackenzie Davisabout a month ago

    Oh what? That completely got me! What happened?!

  • Natasha Collazoabout a month ago

    This took a hard left lol Nice job!

  • Brin J.about a month ago

    I'm sorry, what?🫣 I'm laughing at how hard I gasped at the plot twist! All my kitties flinched like and stared at me in horror. It was just too perfect. If your goal was to throw everyone through a loop, you succeeded🀣. <3

  • Mark Gagnonabout a month ago

    Donna, you had me going in one direction with your powerful descriptors, then bang - U-turn. Congratulations on TS and a great story! πŸ‘

  • JBazabout a month ago

    That was quick Congratulations. …Excellent

  • Carly Bushabout a month ago

    This is powerful. I had a visceral reaction. It's very reminiscent of White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes, if you're familiar with the song.

  • Thavien Yliasterabout a month ago

    I will return to give this a proper read and commentary.

  • Dana Crandellabout a month ago

    Such powerful imagery, Donna! I was right there in the peaceful forest and then saw the red. Well done, and congratulations!

  • Alexander McEvoyabout a month ago

    Swinging back around to say congrats on a super well deserved top story Donna!!!!!!! πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³

  • Cathy holmesabout a month ago

    Congrats on the TS.

  • Paul Stewartabout a month ago

    Boom. barely read it and boom Top Story. Boom, boom, boom, that's my word today. Boom. Will the deer get boomed?

  • Real Poeticabout a month ago

    β€œIt coated the branches of the trees, clung to the needles on the pine trees and painted the hilly landscape.” You painted a beautiful picture with these lines.

  • Alexander McEvoyabout a month ago

    There really is something powerful about watching the world in winter. Definitely my favourite time of year :)

  • JBazabout a month ago

    Donna, your opening was so serene and beautiful, we were not expecting the ending. It left a hollowness within me, wanting to know more. Well done.

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