Why Squirrels Are Quarrelsome

Have you ever been scolded by a squirrel? Have you ever seen two squirrels sitting on the same branch, quarrelling with one another? For all their apparent skittishness, squirrels are quarrelsome creatures -- but not because they are particularly ill tempered. They're just very good at insulting people. They enjoy it the way some people enjoy singing. You might not speak Squirrelish, but you would be surprised at some of the impressive insults squirrels have devised. It is their special Craft that, a long long time ago, a very special squirrel used to bring Light back to the world...

Once there was a squirrel whose name was Ratatosk. He was not the first of his kind, nor the fastest or the most clever, but he was the best climber of all the squirrels. He was also partially responsible for the creation of evergreen trees. At one time, all trees shed their leaves in autumn, but Ratatosk spoke to the Goddess before one of Her annual journeys into the Underworld and expressed his fear that She would never return. If She did not return from the Underworld winter would last forever and there would never again be green things in the world.

To assuage Ratatosk's fear, the Goddess transformed some of Her trees into evergreens, a sacred promise to Her children that She would always return to them, that the Dark Times would never last forever.

Ever since then, Ratatosk made his home in the first evergreen where he remained comfortable, safe, and warm... until the day he was asked for help from a desperate Sylph.

Winter had fallen across the land like a soft blanket. The Goddess had descended once more into the Underworld; the days were short and brought little warmth, for the Sun God had long since descended into darkness. The nights were long, and the wind's icy fingers clawed their way into even the thickest fur of woodland creatures.

One night, as Ratatosk was returning home, he found a Sylph waiting for him outside his knothole, looking distraught.

"Ummm, hello?" he greeted curiously.

In the moonlight the Sylph's blue-white skin was dimly radiant. She fluttered her wispy wings and held her hands out to Ratatosk.

"Ratatosk -- there you are!" she cried. "My name is Aurora and I need your help!"

Ratatosk was quite taken aback by the proclamation. Sylphs were Magickal children born of the elements and he was just a squirrel -- how could he possibly be of help to the likes of them?

"Uh, are you sure you've got the right squirrel?" he asked.

"Yes!" exclaimed Aurora. "You're Ratatosk, the best climber in all the worlds!"

"Oh," said Ratatosk, flattered. "Well, what do you want from me?"

"The Sun Child is soon to be born," the Sylph explained. "but something terrible has happened: Nidhogg has stolen our star!"

"That's terrible!" cried Ratatosk, aghast. Then he asked, "What's a Nidhogg?"

"Nidhogg is the great serpent that lives coiled among the roots of Yggdrasil." Aurora replied. Then, seeing the dumbfounded look on Ratatosk's face, she asked, "Do you not know about Yggdrasil?"

"Maybe you should start at the beginning." said Ratatosk.

Aurora took a deep breath and explained: "Yggdrasil is the World Tree. It exists in every world, in all times. Its branches can lead you to any world you could wish to go if you know the trick of it. Its trunk reaches higher than anyone can see, its roots sink deeper than anyone can dig.

"Every year, when the Goddess descends into the Underworld, She brings forth the Sun Child. We Sylphs are entrusted with a star that one of us must fly to the top of Yggdrasil. It's a very big honor. We place the star in Yggdrasil's highest boughs so it can catch the first light of Yule. If the star doesn't catch the first light of Yule, it won't shine across all the worlds to let the Devas and animals know the Dark Times have ended -- they will stay asleep and winter will never end!"

"Well, how did Nidhogg steal the star if it's supposed to be all the way at the top of Yggdrasil?" Ratatosk asked.

"It was my turn to carry the star." Aurora said sadly. "I took the star to the top of Yggdrasil, but I discovered a giant eagle has taken roost there! I tried to go past but the eagle flapped its wings at me. The wind was so great that it blew the star from my hands! The star fell all the way down to the roots where Nidhogg stole it!"

"What exactly do you think I can do about it?" Snakes and eagles both ate squirrels -- Ratatosk did not want to be eaten.

"Nidhogg will eat me if I go down there by myself. But you're the best climber there is -- if you come with me, you can distract Nidhogg while I steal the star back. You're the best climber there is -- he'll never be able to catch you."

"But what about the eagle?" Ratatosk really did not want to be eaten.

"If the eagle sees me, he'll blow me away again with his mighty wind. But if he tries to blow you away, you can cling to the tree and he won't be able to dislodge you. Please," Aurora begged. "I need your help!"

Even though Ratatosk was very concerned about getting eaten, he understood the importance of what he was being asked. So he followed Aurora to the great World Tree Yggdrasil where he climbed down, down, down it's massive trunk until they found the serpent Nidhogg gnawing at the Yggdrasil's roots. There, among Nidhogg's countless coils, the shining star Aurora had dropped gleamed brightly.

Ratatosk bristled his fur and spread his forelegs in his best imitation of an eagle, chittering aggressively.

"Hey, Nidhogg!" he chittered, "There's a giant eagle at the top of Yggdrasil who told me to tell you that you'd make a great snack!"

Nidhogg became enraged and began thrashing and hissing at Ratatosk. It tried to bite him, but the nimble squirrel darted just out of the serpent's reach, chittering taunts all the while.

>While Nidhogg was distracted, Aurora swooped in and snatched the star from the serpent's coils. Then they fled from Nidhogg up the trunk of Yggdrasil. The great serpent shouted insults after them with all the venom it could muster -- insults, I must confess, too vile to be repeated here.

>When Ratatosk and Aurora reached the top of Yggdrasil, the eagle was there. Ratatosk, inspired by his success against Nidhogg, devised a daring plan. He boldly called out to the eagle and repeated several of the insults Nidhogg had shouted. He repeated them in such a way that it seemed as if Ratatosk had been sent by Nidhogg to deliver the insults on behalf of the great serpent itself.

>While he chittered his insults, Ratatosk fluffed his tail like a bottlebrush and thrashed it back and forth, hissing and contorting his body as he'd seen Nidhogg doing. The eagle became enraged by Ratatosk's antics and flapped its vast wings, screeching insults of its own as it tried to blow the squirrel from the tree. But Ratatosk dug his claws into Yggdrasil's trunk and would not be dislodged.

While the eagle was distracted, Aurora snuck past it and placed the star in Yggdrasil's highest boughs where it would catch the first light of Yule and shine for all to see. Devas and animals alike were awakened by the Light and knew that the Dark Times had ended.

Since that day, Ratatosk has run up and down Yggdrasil, carrying insults back and forth between the eagle and the serpent. Though the language he has learned from the two adversaries is deplorable, they have been so focused on their rage at each other that the Sylphs have never again had a problem placing the star.

The tale of Ratatosk's exploits -- not to mention the language he has learned from Nidhogg and the eagle -- have spread into squirrel legend, and now all squirrels seek to imitate his daring insults. So, the next time you are scolded by a quarrelsome squirrel, quarrel back -- and maybe teach it some new insults. Ratatosk will thank you.