Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Fairy tales aren't always so hard to believe
Donnie was fucked if that bitch was going to take so much as a hair from his chest. True, he didn’t want her anymore, but no one else was getting her either.
“Let me in!” he yelled, banging on the door. Piece of shit caravan, he could practically blow it down. Or punch a hole in it.
“Leave us alone Donnie, just go!” She sounded scared. Well she should be. Probably got some man in there with her, though all he could hear was the kids fucking whining. That fucking NOISE.
He shot his fist into the flimsy door, and when it didn’t break, went at it with all four limbs. By the time he broke through, they were out the window, gone. Didn’t matter, he knew where to find them.
*
Lisa ran hard, pulling Eva along, clutching James to her chest, smothering his cries. They crouched in the bin store, pulling the big green bin across, waiting, hearts beating, scared into silence. When it got dark, they came out and caught the bus to her sister’s, pale faced and chilled to the bone.
It didn’t take long. He arrived just past midnight, yelling in the street. He sounded drunk. “Lisa, lemme in. I juswanna talk. LISA! LISA! You’re a fucking BITCH! I’ll fucking KILL you. You hear me?”
She huddled beneath the window beside her sleeping babies, sure that if she moved he would somehow apparate into the room. It was just as she started to believe he had gone that she smelled smoke.
*
These wooden cabins went up fast and Donnie didn’t stick around. He knew where she would go next.
When he arrived, the house seemed quiet. She must think he didn’t know about this place. Stupid bitch. He skirted the brick frontage looking for an unlocked window, easing the sash up silently in the dark, taking the long knife from his back pocket as he folded himself through the opening, tasting her blood on his tongue.
*
His blood. It was his blood. Lisa lowered the sharpened glass in its frame, transforming the window into a guillotine, and dropped the sash.
Half in, half out, Donnie gurgled his last.
“Bitch.”
Word count bang on 366! Written for L.C. Schafer's Fucked Up Fairytales Challenge.
And... Filler filler filler filler, filler filler filler filler, filler filler filler filler, BAT HAN!
Let me see, I need to get to 600 words. Oh, I tell you what. This isn't filler at all. If you have been effected by any of the issues raised in this story and live in the UK, you can contact the following for support:
Refuge - Support for women who are experiencing domestic abuse. The staff offer confidential, non-judgmental information and support. Call: 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night. Online: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
Men’s Advice Line - The helpline for male victims of domestic abuse. Call: 0808 8010 327 (Mon-Fri, 10am to 8pm) for non-judgmental information and support. Email: [email protected] or Online: https://mensadviceline.org.uk
Galop - Offering support to LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse and violence. Online Self-Referral: https://galop.org.uk/make-a-referral/ LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428 (Mon-Fri) Conversation Therapy Helpline: 0800 130 3335 (Mon-Fri) LGBT+ Hate Crime Helpline: 020 7704 2040 (Mon-Fri)
In the Unites States, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The Hotline can be accessed via the nationwide number 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 or (206) 518-9361 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers), or online at https://www.thehotline.org/
In Australia, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) , the National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. 24 hours, 7 days a week. www.1800respect.org.au
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Comments (14)
Superb, this is exactly how it's done!
Rapid-fire and intense Hannah! I like how you twisted the perspective around, and adding the helplines in is a thoughtful touch for such a sobering issue.
Love it , Love it, Love it. What a great twist to modernize this tale. I hope the courts were forgiving to her or did she toss him in a brick fireplace and burn his bones to ash?
Just excellent. Well-paced, well-realised. Fucked up at its finest.
This was stunning. Loved the pacing, loved the characterisation and it's a horrible truth for many people. Loved that he got what was coming to him in the end.
Hahahahhahaahahaha his blood! That was awesomeeee! Loved your story! Also, although that was a very beneficial and helpful filler, you didn't need a filler. Fiction community along with many more doesn't require a minimum of 600 words anymore hehehe
Nice, I like how You displayed the three houses like in the story with the three little pigs, and how Donnie is treating them like pigs. He may not want them, but he's set his eyes on them as his and his alone, like how a predator would. The first house was easy to get into, the second he had to get her out of, but the last was too secure. When I initially thought of the big bad wolf I thought You were going to go the little red riding hood route, and have Lisa's father, brother, or some other strong male role model be the lumberjack that comes in and hacks Donnie in two. I'm glad that You went the route with Lisa ending it. Lowkey though, I thought that she would've decapitated Donnie instead of chopping him in half. Too risky that he might live, in my opinion. Also, thank You for adding in the men's support line at the bottom. Not a lot of people believe that men can be domestic abuse victims of women. Just because bruises and marks aren't left, doesn't mean that we're not scarred. Plus, why did You have to add filler in the first place? Even with my authors notes at the end I haven't needed to have my stories reach 600 words for them to get published. That's awfully odd in my opinion. I like how You made the fairytale into a reality that some people live. You didn't twist it, but reflected it upon the harsh reality of this world.
That was intense and the ending was sweet justification. I also like that you added the helpline number at the end.
Oooh, damn! The flow is on POINT, Hannah. Shocking to be in his POV but that ending is perfect! F’ed up? Damn straight. Oh, btw if you use the microfiction tag (i see you did!) you won’t get rejected if the word count is lower than 600. 😄
Excellent take on the challenge! I think I was afraid of the wolf in this one, lol.
Damn. This was such a great entry. You’ve got my vote.
Top notch as always.
Hahaha the woman beat him at his own game. Nice twisted effed up!
EXCELLENT STORY