Who Is the Real Monster?

My eyes scan the door of the club from my car, searching for any danger. I saw nothing but a steel door covered in posters of past shows, some new and some that looked over 10 years old and peeling away. I took deep breaths, not realizing that my knuckles were white and when I looked at the rear-view mirror I was red-faced. This was my first mission as an assassin and I was starting to regret every "yes" I uttered to my boss. Damn it all to hell! Why couldn't he have sent me to a library or somewhere quiet? I took one big breath, opened the car door and walked quickly to the club door, stopping short of reaching for the door handle.

My target is the head of one of the most dangerous gangs in the city, he had been terrorizing the streets for a long time and starting wars with neighboring gangs. He had a mile-long rap sheet and he needed to be stopped at all costs. He somehow felt different even though me and my partner have assassinated gang members before, but we had each other's back when someone tripped over their own two feet, usually me doing the tripping. For some reason, I was still included in all assassinations. They tell me that I make a great watch and that I packed amazing lunches for long stakeouts.

Why am I treating this club like a pool that I am afraid to drown in? No police officer is gonna break down the door, shooting down the bad guy. I was on my own. I looked up and realized that I stood in front of the door for a long time but had no idea for how long. I pulled open the door with an urgency that would frighten even the bravest person and that was when my senses were victimized.

My eyes tried to adjust to the darkness of the club but I was assaulted by flashing neon lights and the thudding bass of the club music. My nose filled with the scent of sweaty bodies, spilled alcohol, and perfumes trying to cover the body odor. The people dancing in the center of the floor looked like an ocean that could drown me with one wrong move. I try to move along the edge of the club, shimmying along the wall. I finally reached an empty table and sat down, I needed a moment to think of my next move. I scanned all over the club trying to find this man, going over every face I could see on the dance floor.

I saw no sign of the man, I looked up at the second floor hoping that he would be the one staring down at all of us from VIP. Nothing, nada, zip, zero. I got up from the table and turned toward the bar, maybe a quick Shirley Temple would help me blend in. I went to the bartender and ordered my drink. I waited patiently for the red drink, the gingery and sweet taste hitting my tongue while I felt something on my body. I turn to my left and see someone a few feet away from me looking at me.

The man had dark, messy hair that looked like it was meant to be, his eyes were light but cold like a winter day with a bit of wind chill. He was wearing clothes that seemed appropriate for the club but I wouldn't know since I never go to clubs. The light from the bar made it only possible to see half of his face. I scrolled through my mind's eye trying to remember the target's face, any scars or if his nose was crooked. The noise of the club made it almost impossible to focus, the next time I looked up he was standing next to me.

I took several deep breaths but my lungs felt like they were getting crushed from within. I felt a hand on my shoulder but I couldn't bring myself to look up again because everything was spinning. I was sure that my drink wasn't spiked. I was trained in sniffing anything strange in drinks but I guess all of the sensory overwhelm made me feel drugged. I felt arms wrap around me and drag me away from the bar, the feeling of panic soon overtook me, I wriggled like a snake that was close to dying. Hoping to get away from the chaos. I felt cold air hit my face and it was the greatest feeling in the world.

I looked around me to see that I was back outside the club with the man standing close to me. He was looking at me with concern, it was almost like he thought I was having a heart attack. I frowned at him, and gave him an aggressive once-over.

"Thanks," I said coldly "You didn't need to pull me out of there. I wasn't in distress."

"It looked like you were in distress."

I ignored it but when I turned back to look at him, I realized that this was the man I was sent to kill! I tried and failed to hide the surprise on my face, and he must have seen it because he frowned at me in confusion.

"Is there something wrong?," He said apprehensively.

"No," I said, trying to recover.

"You just made a face like you just saw a ghost."

"Well, I didn't see a ghost. I was just surprised that I made it out of there without dying." I reply indignantly while straightening my top. Now is the time to plan my next move but the issue was that we were both in the middle of a dark street and I completely forgot to bring my weapon. I am now standing in the middle of the street like a fool who came with a knife to a gun fight and I know I will go down like one too.

The man finally broke the awkward silence, "You wanna go somewhere else," he said.

"Sure," I say quickly knowing that my current plan is not going to work.

I quickly follow behind him, wary of not getting too close or he might reach for me and attack. We finally came to a small little café at the corner about a few blocks away from the club, when we went inside the atmosphere was almost calming. Hardly a soul in sight, and the music was at a low volume. Couches and chairs looked like clouds that I would gladly sink my little behind in but I still felt on guard. He might try to take me down right here in this quiet café or else poison my food. After all, this man had connections to a lot of the businesses in this neighborhood.

The logic part of my brain took over, and pretty much argued that it would be ridiculous of him to try and kill me in the middle of a café. Of course, he could get away with anything he wanted. I felt a hand touch my shoulder, and jumped like I was touched with a hot flame.

"Sorry," The man said, "I thought that we should sit down." He pointed to a pair of comfy chairs in the corner with a little wooden table in the middle. When we both went to sit down, I looked past his shoulder to see a little dance floor. I was surprised to see such a thing in a place like this. He turned back to look at the dance floor, and shrugged. "Oh, that's been there for as long as the café has been here. This used to be a dance hall at some point, it obviously got converted to a coffee shop."

"You seem to know a lot about this neighborhood." I say stiltedly. The man cocked his one brow at me but seems to have decided to ignore it. "Yeah, I have lived here since I was a kid. You get to know the people here, their stories, why they do what they do." His face softened and I could, at the very least, clearly see that this was just no ordinary gang leader.

"Oh, well. I just lived in a small town my whole life. I have only been living here for a year." I say trying to keep the same tone. The man leaned in closer, almost trying to find the cracks in my demeanor. I stiffen when I feel his breath on my face. The cologne he was wearing wasn't strong but it was noticeable when you got close enough. He did look very handsome when I saw him at the club but up close in a well-lit café, he looked even better. His face was like a forest in the early morning, after a heavy rain storm, the dew still clinging to the flora and glistening in the sun.

Meanwhile I felt less than a neglected plant in a windowsill, drying up from lack of water. I was the girl that was ignored by everyone and any "attention" I received was part of a prank or, in my adult life, just a scheme to get me into bed as quickly as possible. I mainly keep to myself, covering every part of me so I do not attract any attention. This job as an assassin was just a small accident, a friend told me that I would make a great assassin since I can make myself go undetected. That, unfortunately, was proven to be untrue and now I am wondering why they even sent me after this man at all. I realized that I haven't even gotten this man's name, only that he was called "Panther." I could not get a straight answer out of any of my colleagues on why he was called "Panther", some traded stories about his violent exploits but could not come to a conclusion.

I chuckled, "I don't think I got your name."

He sat back on his chair and sighed, "Do you need to know my name?"

"Yes, I do. I am just asking out of curiosity. I have heard...things about you."

"What kind of things?" He says, not moving from his position. His eyes darkened like a fight was brewing.

I quickly straighten myself. "Oh, just some scary things."

He didn't relax at all after that fumble as I expected. Shit. I froze with my hands in front of me, not sure what to do next. Do I run out of the café? Do I start fighting him...with my barely existent Kung Fu skills? My mind raced trying to find something that could pull me back from the quicksand I fell into until I grabbed a vine.

"You don't have to talk about those if you don't want to, just some stupid things I heard from those Karens in the nicer neighborhoods."

He relaxed but he still looked at me inquisitively. He leaned forward again, he raised his hands to lower mine. I flushed in embarrassment. Some assassin, I was.

"I'm Xavier. You?"

"Cassie"

"It's nice to meet you, Cassie," Xavier looks back to the dance floor. "Hey, did you want to dance?"

"Okay but I need to warn you that I might wreck your shoes."

"My shoes have gone through worse."

My mind reels at what he meant by worse but I decided to put all of that aside. We both get up from our chairs and move to the dance floor, with Xavier leading me by the hand. The song that was playing over the speakers was a slow, 90's R&B song. I tried to name what song it was since I did remember hearing it somewhere but before I could place it, Xavier put his hand on my hip and pulled me to him. The cologne that I smelled earlier somehow felt stronger than before. I did feel my body move all over the floor but I wasn't sure for how long. Xavier must have noticed me dissociating because he finally spoke up

"You look totally spaced out."

"I'm fine."

"I see that kind of look all the time. I saw it when..."

"What?"

"Nothing," Xavier said quickly. He suddenly dipped me; he looked like a God towering over me. He pulled me back up and pulled me even closer to him until I felt my face in his chest. Not only did I over-estimate him in terms of brains, I also under-estimated him in strength. He does not look overly muscular but his whole demeanor makes him a man that you should not cross.

"You haven't noticed someone watching us the entire time?" He whispered.

I stiffened, "What?"

"Someone has been watching us the entire time we came into this place, is that one of your friends?"

"No!" I look around to find one of my fellow assassins sitting in one of the chairs. "I don't know that person."

"Liar," he hissed.

"I-I was sent alone," I scramble for an explanation.

The next dip appears to be lower than the last one. "You were sent alone?!"

"Yes."

"They sent their worst assassin to kill me! Hard to believe. My informant told ME that you would be the one tagging along"

I was now incredibly confused, I was never told that someone would be coming with me on this mission. I was told by my boss that I would be going alone. What in the world was going on?

"How would you know that I was the worst?" I said looking him dead in the eyes. Being known as the "worst" stung me more when he said it then anyone else. I knew what he said was true but I still couldn't shake that feeling of defiance that was bubbling inside of me. Like I wanted to prove to him that he was full of shit.

"Who is your informant?"

"I'm not telling you."

He seemed to be confused too because his brows were furrowed. The sound of heels clicking on the floor along with a gun cocking snapped me out of my thoughts. Before I could react I was shoved to the floor and hit it hard. Xavier pulled a gun from, seemingly, out of nowhere and fired into the direction of the woman who was watching us. There were a couple shots in our direction as well, Xavier grabbed his arm with a grunt. My ears rang as I heard the thud of a body and the tinkle of bullet shells.

I felt Xavier pull me from the floor and drag me out of the cafe. I look back and see the assassin bleeding on the floor. I snap out of it and find myself in a car that I am not familiar with until I look over and see Xavier driving, with one hand on the wheel and the other laying at his side, bleeding profusely.

"Xavier, you're bleeding," I tried not to be overly emotional but it was far too late.

"I'm fine, don't stress over me."

"Don't stress," I screamed, "You've been shot!"

"I will wrap it up when I get home." He said through gritted teeth.

"No, we are going to the hospital!"

"And what're they gonna do? They ain't gonna take care of me! They know who I am, they will throw me out and let me bleed on the street! Screw them!"

I sit in shock for a few moments, even though I have faced my own adversity, I hadn't realized that others would view him in such a negative way. He did save my life after all but the memories of men taking advantage of me resurfaced, the body remembered what those "kind" men have done to me. I felt sick to my stomach, and I grew dizzy and blacked out. I came to and Xavier was gently shaking me.

"Cassie, wake the hell up! You scared the shit out of me. You passed out," Xavier sighed in relief.

Xavier was parked in front of an apartment building that I assume was his home. I was still dazed and confused when he opened my door and took my hand. We climb up a few flights of stairs before reaching a brown door with the number 12 in gold lettering. The door flew open and inside was a medium-sized Bachelor suite with a well-worn brown couch, a kitchen with a small island and a Queen-sized bed taking up most of the space. Off to the side, was a small bathroom with what looked to be a man-sized shower and a small sink.

"Wait here," He pointed to the couch. I walked over there and sat down. I saw no point in arguing with him because he seemed too stubborn to back down. Seconds later I heard a scream and bottles hitting the floor. I ran to find Xavier, clutching his bicep trying to stop the bleeding. I see a bottle of hydrogen peroxide next to him, leaking out. He cursed every word under his breath.

"Are you alright?" I say to him calmly. He quickly turns to me, looking angry that he had been found in such a vulnerable position.

"I'm fine."

"Well, I don't think uttering every expletive under the sun is considered "fine" by most." I say smarmily.

Xavier furrows his brows at me, heaves a deep sigh in a show of surrender.

"I don't think this tiny bathroom is a great place to heal a wound. Let's try the living room." I say pulling him gently to the main area. I sat him down on the couch and came back a few moments later with the bandages and proper equipment. I carefully cleaned the wound with water and after it had been cleaned off, I inspected the wound trying to find any shrapnel that might've been left behind. I see nothing and carefully apply the bandages, making sure to apply pressure.

I didn't even notice him watching me until I looked up at him from my work.

"Thanks," He said quietly like someone else would hear what had occurred from the other side of the wall. He tried to gently lift the injured arm but the pain stopped him before he could go any further.

"You're welcome and please try not to do anything stupid until that arm heals." I responded.

"Of course," He says with a smirk on his face. "What the hell was that back there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean when you fainted in my car."

"It-it was nothing serious."

"To hell, it was."

I look at him in surprise. I never really had anyone consider my fainting with a bit of concern but more of an annoyance when it occurred during missions. It rarely happens but I sometimes cannot stop my brain from going into those places I would rather forget.

"Look, if something happened that makes you do that, you should probably see a doctor?"

Now it was my turn to cock an eyebrow at him, "Oh? Now I have to go to the doctor and not you?" I say while crossing my arms and glancing at his bandaged arm. It felt like I was acting in some movie I walked in without realizing it.

"Hey, it's just a bullet wound. You could die if you faint at the wrong time."

His concern for me really started to confuse me. The fact that he thinks he can give me advice while ignoring mine. This man was different from what I imagined him to be. This was really suspect but maybe all of those people were wrong about him, still my paranoia was a louder voice and told me to still be wary.

"It appears that my work is done. I really should be leaving now otherwise my pets will worry." I slowly rise from the couch.

"Are you sure you wanna go home? Your "co-workers" may be waiting for you and won't be happy. I hear that they are pretty cut-throat when it comes to betrayal."

"How would you know that?"

"You hear things….assassins getting killed off for trying to leave. And tonight? That woman had her eyes on you, I was just in the way."

I feel a chill through my body at those words, my friend never mentioned to me about possibly leaving the organization. I never really felt the need to leave or felt unsafe since they gave me a home, and everything I needed. After everything that happened tonight, I wasn't so sure.

"But you can return home if you want. I am not gonna stop ya." Xavier says as he slowly lays back on the couch.

I was having a battle with my own head now. Who am I to believe? Was Xavier's act of heroism another ploy to join him? Were the assassins really trying to get rid of me!? I rub my temples in frustration at all of this information.

"You just basically told me that my people betrayed me and how am I supposed to take that?"

"Take it however you like."

I just stood there, unable to really separate fact from fiction. It felt like I stood there for some time because I did not notice Xavier rising from the couch, he was standing really close to me when I came back down to Earth.

"Hey, my gang would be pissed if they saw what I did tonight too. Defending an assassin who was sent to kill me," He spoke softly.

I look into his eyes trying to find the lie. I have been studying human faces for years, looking for shifts in emotion or ill intent. I couldn't find the hints of deception that I read so many books about, I noticed that his eyes had a mossy green to them, and when I lowered my gaze, he looked disheveled. His lips looked soft enough to kiss but I did not dare make a move, since what happened last night rattled both of us.

"Cassie? You alright?"

I look back into his eyes, they almost felt as strong as the sun. Being away from the club and other dark places seems to have warmed his gaze.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He put his hand behind my neck and hesitated, the look in his eyes was almost like asking for my permission. I nodded slowly, I closed my eyes to embrace whatever it was Xavier was going to give me. I felt the warmth of his mouth on mine, loving it but hating the circumstances of this kiss. As soon as that warmth was washing over me, it faded as fast when he pulled away from me. He stroked my cheek with his thumb, looking like he was admiring the scenery.

"I need to leave."

"Please stay." He begged.

A feeling of shame rose from my many lessons from staying the night at a strange man's house. I shake my head furiously, quickly turning to run to the door. I could barely hear Xavier as I bolted down the stairs into the chilly air. The sun was beginning to peak out the sky but I just kept running past sleeping homeless people and drunk people loitering around. I tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face, I felt a sharp pain against my face and various parts of my body. What hurt even worse was my ego and pride. I look up to see my apartment. I quickly get up and slam the apartment door behind me. I could not remember how many miles I ran and it did not matter in the slightest. I just wanted to get home and now I was home. I was now possibly on the run.

Part 2 is here