White History Month

“We’re working on our thoughts right now. That’s right. Okay. Bye.” Professor of Finance, Willoughby James, age 54, hung up the phone in his Wilmington, Delaware office.

“Who was that?” James’ adjunct professor, Corinth Gainesville, 33, asked.

“That was the department chair. She wants us to do more to influence the culture, including more aggressive tactics.”

“Aren’t we already doing that? Wall Street, Washington, Silicon Valley, the sciences, the news media, Hollywood…what else do we need to tackle?”

We don’t need to capture anything else; we need to continue graduating students whose goal is to destroy the United States as we know it. The utopian vision model still works. Did you know that the endowment for this institution was six billion dollars last year? Entrepreneurs salivate to give back to their good ol’ New Sweden University. This is the highest funded public college in Delaware.”

So what you’re saying is communism and socialism aren’t enough, because they don’t present a potent enough idealism to take down the opposition?”

“A bit. What we have to do is ramp up cynicism and nihilism to the cattle that come in here every fall semester. They have to be prodded with the swift stick of anti-concepts and non-concepts. They have to be further cooked in the juices of sarcasm. The government schools they attended and their favorite TV shows already primed them.”

“Is that right…ethically?” Gainesville asked.

“Of course it is, but we can’t package it as such. We still have to entice them with scholarships and other benefits.

“I know I’m just getting started—”

“Yes and if you want tenure, you better sharpen your skills on how to best instruct the farm animals swinging through those lecture hall doors.”

“Right. About that, shouldn’t we be focused on actually presenting and expounding upon objective facts?”

“Who told you there was any objectivity? Everything is everything, and nothing even matters. Our role is not to educate or entertain. We’re not instructors. We’re butchers of minds. We get them fat with propaganda and then cut them down with extreme prejudice. Like those sectors you rattled off, they’ll be heated enough for entering the bloody floor and continuing the annihilation of their brains.”

Gainesville looked puzzled. His face contorted, and he backed away from his boss.

“I do not agree with any of that.”

“You’re young. You’ll see just how to play the game, and don’t worry about morality, or ethics. These kids have been beaten over the head with faith for eighteen years, they’ll never know the difference, those returning to school in later adulthood have had their feelings calcified in their minds. You follow my lead. You will know we’re not the philosopher kings anymore. We’re the philosopher CEOs.”

“Isn’t that going to leave the students unchallenged?”

“It’s like white history month….”

“White what?”

“It’s racist to just have black history month, so we made it so that every month except February be white history month.”

“Shouldn’t there just be history, no race or gender specifics?”

“Ahh, Corinth. You’ll learn. We have to keep the races together so they can fight. That’s the best way to do it. That was the point of integration. This is still a public school. It’s to our advantage to have a conflict amongst races, genders, behaviors, and other ways to keep us connected and conflicted. You’ll learn.”

“I’ll be damned,” Gainesville declared, his chin slightly canted upward.

“Excuse me?” James asked with indignation.

“You heard what I said, goddamnit. I’m only going to have one shot at this career, and if I have to do what you said, I’ll never forgive myself. So count me out of this job if that’s what it entails.”

James stared at Gainesville like he was boring a hole through his soul. He looked down at the floor and back at Gainesville.

“You make your choice.”

“I already have,” Gainesville replied. He gathered his jacket and satchel and left the office.