First World Nations

The hollow celluloid ball crossed the table with enough force and intent to capture the attention of those around it. The Delaware Institute of Technology, recreation room in Newark, Delaware buzzed. Constantly, the pads met the ball, and the rhythmic sound created a small concert between the two players.

“Sad as hell, what happened to her,” Shady Leonard said. “She was only twenty-two. She was right in her bedroom.”

“She left behind her mom, twin brothers, and a son,” Gulford Dennings replied.

“How selfish it was that she did that!” Beck Penderly blurted out.

The ball stopped.

“What the hell did you just say?” Kole Hawks asked, anger rising in his voice. He laid down the paddle, and signaled with a single finger for his opponent to pause.

“I said it! She was selfish. She left behind her family and friends. Her actions left out everybody else but herself. She made a red Rorschach test on her bedroom walls. You’re making the rec room unpleasant. You can say it’s sad all you—”

“Yes, unpleasant, like this talk is a walk in the park, and I’m not just saying it’s goddamn sad. It is. You watch your mouth saying she was selfish. It was quite literally and physically self-destructive.”

“What the hell is the difference?”

“Every goddamn thing. Try a good dictionary, from the 1930’s, British or American. Find the term ‘selfish.’ It will simply state care for one’s own interests. This doesn’t go into ethics.”

“What the hell is this?” Penderly asked, clearly agitated, “morality lecture time?”

“If you will be quiet and listen, you might learn something. This nation, among other first world nations, has this kind of thing in the top ten ways to die currently at number ten. According to Ayn Rand, selfishness is a profound reverence for the individual soul. It is a good thing. This can be contextually a good thing, too. Given the circumstances, if someone struggles under a dictatorship, has a debilitating disease, or experiences advanced age or had dementia among a few other conditions, and wants to to do the final business, they have valid reasons. What she did was definitely and absolutely a waste. Whether she was suffering from some mental affliction or experienced trauma or found herself in a place where she couldn’t handle it, the reality is she did it. The conditions I mentioned at first didn’t pertain to her, but you must not say it was selfish in this particular case. There’s no place for that. You watch your mouth, goddamnit!”

Penderly looked ashen. His lower lip quivered. “ I didn’t want it to mean that.”

“Then what did you mean?” Hawks questioned.

“I was just saying she had people left.”

“I’m not defending her actions, I’m upholding an idea. It is the idea that selfish behavior is to be championed and held in solemn praise. Her actions served herself, yes, but only her demise. In messy fashion, this happened, has happened, happens and will happen. It will happen in one way or another. That is until we control the narrative of how selfishness is a boon, not a vice.”

“I thought I could say how she acted so self-— destructively,” Penderly whimpered.

“Make sure you get me straight. The self is precious and must be prized. So for anyone to cast selfish behavior in a shadow or poor light, they should reset and assess their basic ideals. Goddamnit, Pen’, I can say it all I want. It just makes sense, only if you understand. Self-preservation is selfish.”

Penderly looked at the ping-pong table. “But I believe it! I believe she was selfish! That makes me right!” he shouted.

“Who believes it? Did you say ‘I?’ There is no I in your estimation. You’ve just committed a mortal sin punishable by life imprisonment in your own mind. You’re locked up, just without the cell. If you believe it to be true, that means you’re using selfishness to recognize that your own mind can process concepts. You ought to see that.”

Penderly ran out of the recreation room, shaken and even more ashen.

Hawks picked up his paddle and signalled for his opponent to resume the game.