Whistle, Quiet, Hide

Jolted awake. Darkness - I don't know where I am.

My legs are cramped, folded under me. A confined space and it's stifling hot. No air....I can't breath. Disoriented. And then it clicks.....the low rumble, the rocking, the whistle of the train. I've been picked. I feel foggy and not myself. My head is pounding. I can’t think. Stay calm. How did they get me on board? I have lost time. Hours? Days? What do I remember? Nothing.

I try to still my breathing. Make no noise. Fear sets in. A hand, rough as gravel reaches towards me, pushing me down and deeper into the darkness. A piece of metal is pushed in front of me, I hear clicks and it is set into place, sealing me in. I saw a glimpse of feet .... I must be below the seats. Shielded and out of view now, sealed into this tomb. I must do everything as instructed.

We were all prepared ahead of time about what might happen. Given instructions by the network so if we are found we have some idea of what comes next, but no one is ever truly prepared. We also knew that only a few of us ever actually make it. This was a death sentence as much as it was a chance to get out. The only certainty was that one way or another, you wouldn’t have to wonder anymore.

The searches were inevitable. There were breaches, tip offs, and brides to reveal us onboard... even the good ones can't be trusted. No one can ever be trusted. You crossed your fingers and hoped to whatever god looked promising that you would be one of the lucky few. We weren't passengers, we were commodities, so when they came to scan the ticket ID’s and do security checks, we had to be invisible. Caught on the train without official documentation and a ticket, and both you and the escort were done.

*********

Growing up we were told of a time when things were different, but our reality is far from that history. Though there are details I never really understood, it seems that over time some of us changed. Our ancestors spent their lives destroying the world with greed; a narcissistic drive to build, grow, expand, and control. They destroyed wildlife, used toxic chemicals to grow the food everyone ate, destroyed the sky and the weather. They were told it was happening, but they didn’t want to see it for what it was, and so kept on taking and taking, never caring what would come next. As the weather systems changed, people had to move, going where there was hope for food and safety. Huge numbers died off due to famine, drought, and flooding, not to mention the generations of civil war and fighting over dwindling resources. The water levels rose and much of the old map was re-written with fierce swells that swept over the land. In the end, there were two areas left that could safely host people: what used to be central North America (referred to as the Western Settlement) and a chain of large islands where Africa once was (the Archipelago).

The train system was the only means of travel left in the Western settlements and was strictly reserved for the elite; those in control decided who got the remaining resources and how they were distributed. The train system worked around the central hub, The City, with trains coming and going from the core, bringing food and provisions to the power hungry and leaving most of us in the surrounding lands to fend for ourselves. The City was also the centre of the science programme. Their directive was to search out people who had evolved in order to bring them back to the City in hopes of finding the secrets in our cells. The single purpose: to replicate these changes for the elite who had spent so much time behind ivory towers they hadn’t interacted with the environment long enough to start changing like we had. They saw their end coming and this fueled their desperation. So, we became things to study, pick apart, experiment on. We were their toys, and they would do anything to get their hands on us. The ones deemed ‘acceptable’ were put into the breeding programme and the ones with lesser qualities were seen merely as genetic material to be harvested.

The bottom line was that some of us were adapting to this new world in a way that others weren’t. Changes to our skin, organs, lungs. We were adapting to survive this new era. Some of us were born this way, others slowly noticed the shift. It seemed slow at first and then began to snowball. The first recorded case was a young girl who began to spend more and more time in the water until her parents realized she was breathing under the waves. There was a story of a man who could tolerate the extremes of the weather from ice to fire. More and more cases were documented until it seemed that almost everyone knew someone who had changes. For me, I learned early on that I could ‘hear’ the Earth. I could sense what the animals were feeling, I felt the storms coming, I could say if water was safe to drink or not. I also felt the pain of a planet dying. A constant gnawing in my mind of the human legacy. But these changes were only happening in the common population. The elites, who for generations had sealed themselves in the last remnants of the old world, saw no such changes. They lived in climate-controlled environments, hidden away from the elements around them. Without interacting with the new world their bodies weren’t adapting. And so, as we changed to fit the world around us, they began to slowly die off.

As time went on those in the City wanted us officially registered. The people with the power and control grew nervous. They wanted to be like us. They wanted to stand a chance against the coming tide, to adapt and change. Driven by anger and fear, they began to track us. And then we began to disappear. We were taught to hide our changes, not to tell anyone, to conceal physical adaptations, to pretend we were normal. In time there were stories of a programme they were developing with the remaining rail systems to track our movements and apprehend us. The rail programme was organized by the worst of the worst, and we were taken to be studied in the hopes that our DNA would reveal enough information for them to re-create our new abilities. The idea was to pick us apart until some sort of a vaccination could be made and distributed to ensure their survival. We became the resource material that would ensure the elite were able to survive the changes. But we also learned there was a faction within this programme, called the Network, who were working from the inside to save us. They were a part of the tracking and seizure teams, and if they got to you first, they would hide you on the train instead of turning you in. The trains were the only way out and if you had an escort who could find you and keep you hidden, they could get you to the Oasis, a rumoured area off grid on the Archipelago where people were living freely and without fear.

*********

So, I am on a train and there is someone here with me. They haven’t apprehended me yet so the escort must have got to me first. I have been smuggled on board. I must not to move or make any sound. Nothing to alert anyone of my presence. I do not know what happens next, but I do know that this might be my only chance at surviving.

The trains never slow down and never stop until they reach the end. They run over inhospitable land, rocks and desert, ocean, and swamp - there is no jumping or escape so we are instructed to shrink into the darkness and wait. To hope. They are aware that on any given shipment there might be one of us hidden so they do checks and know every trick. It is the death penalty for anyone caught helping, and they take no mercy when it is one of their own who is aiding ‘us’. These days there are fewer and fewer who are willing to take those risks. It is rumoured that they are escalating the research as they still struggle to replicate and disseminate our genetics to the elite masses, and with the most recent planet timeline just released, they are running out of options. My only hope is to get to the City, be picked up by the Network and sent out in one of their boats to the Archipelago where they chose order and peace as their approach to the great change. The Western Settlement developed in a vacuum of control and consumerism, but we had heard stories that the people in the Archipelago worked together to live in peace with each other and the natural environment that was left. It is a dream we can scarcely imagine.

*********

Lurch. Voices. Heavy footsteps. A sliding door. People approaching. I have drifted off; the air is hot and heavy. I am awake again and listening.

“Present your ID and ticket to be scanned. Squadron name? Share your location history for the past 24 hours. Were you searching in a team or on your own? Any captures in the hold? Two you say….that’s good work for the day. Wait, you have time missing on your log. Why were you in a black zone for 28 minutes? Are there any team members who can vouch for you? The Brothel? …..is there a record of that so we can follow up? Name of the worker you saw. You need to always leave your tracking on. This will have to be further investigated. Second time this has happened. Stand up for the search. Arms out. (words I can’t hear). Time for the floor and cabin sweep. (blue light flashing through the thin line that leads to the outside world…..they are using a scanner to detect life signs….this is how they find us and capture us). Looks clear. Should be entering the City soon. You will need to go to the council immediately upon arrival to sort out your missing time.”

Footsteps moving away, muffled voices recede. Quiet. Through the small line of light, I see a shadow. Something passes through it. It looks like two pieces of paper. They fall into the darkness. Searching I find them….a note and a light as thin as a scrap of paper.

“I was assigned to track and pick up 3 of you. The other two are in the hold. Brothel is part of Network but cover is weak. The metal wall blocks the scanners so as long as you stay behind it, they can’t easily find you. Won’t be able to get you off the train to boat transfer. Stay. Someone else will come to remove you. Contamination protocol will be done on train when it is unloaded and in the station. You need to be removed before that happens. That only leaves a few hours. If they don’t get to you in time you will have to decide. Once the sprays start the chemicals will kill you. Chose to die or try an escape, but you will not make it and they will find you…..and then me. Eat this note, the paper light will extinguish in a few minutes and then you wait. Hope you make it. It is everything you have heard about…..both the horror of the City and the dream of the Oasis.”

Soon there are more sounds, voices. Movement and commotion. Then silence. I am numb and weak. Barely able to breathe. I feel hollow. I wait and think. What do I want to do? It isn’t a hard choice. I will stay here until someone pulls me out or else I will die waiting. I will not risk fleeing and getting caught. I will not be tested on or used as an incubator. This might be it, but it will be on my terms. Time elapses but I have not clue how long. He said an hour or two. It could have been a day or two. But then there is movement again. Sounds outside, wheels rolling. “Box 12 for final sweep before decontamination”. Opening of doors, blue light scanner. Silence. Same voice again but further away. “Box 13 for final sweep before decontamination”. I guess they do a final check before the chemical spray. More time elapses and I hear the cart again. “Yes, left my back up scanner in one of the boxes on the second car. Just running back to find it.” Door opens. Blinded by light. Confusion. Hand reaches in and pulls me out. I am small, stunted from not enough food and my youth. Hand slapped over my mouth. “QUIET” mouthed forcefully. The grip on my arm is like iron. I am lifted in one easy movement and dropped into a cart. An insert pressed down over my head, and I am back to the darkness. “Found it …. Box 14! Yup, coming…..I know we need to be on schedule.” Rolling.

Rough and bumpy at first. Train sounds and many people. Then smoother ground. Concrete floors? Bump bump. Bump bump. Bump bump. Automatic door opens, rolling through. I have stopped. What do I do? What next? They haven’t told me what is next. I wait as I know that is my only option. Loudspeaker …. “Decontamination of Train Alpha underway. Workers need to go through cleaning process and report to shift managers. Waste and rags from carts to be incinerated. Automated system to commence in 5 minutes.”

5 minutes to incineration. Again, choices. I stay and be burned to death or take my chances. I have no concept of the City. Where is the water? How do I get there and what boats are safe? I am going to die today.

A foot kicks the side of my cart, I stifle a scream, biting my lip so hard I draw blood. “Someone forgot the cleaning supplies on this one. I will roll it back in to the supplies room to unload and return it to the back of the line”.

“Seriously, this better not put us behind schedule. Whose cart is that anyway…I will report them.”

“Fucked if I know. Not part of my job description!” But it will be our asses on the line if we fall behind or can’t account for missing stock….so I am going to rush it over to unload and have it back before the cycle is over”

“Copy that. I just want to get the hell out of here and back home”

Quickly moving down smooth flooring. Stop and can hear supplies being lifted above my head. The panel is removed, and a young woman looks at me. Finger to lips indicated I say nothing. She gestures with her hand for me to get out. My legs are weak and a waiver, almost fall. She holds my arm to steady me. I am given clothes and shoes to change into. Too big but passable. My old ones go in the cart, soon to be burned along with the rags. No evidence of me ever being there. A cloth tied over my hair, washcloth scrubbed over my face and hands and thrown into the cart. New me. ID badge pinned to my collar. Imperceptible whisper “follow me, just walk”.

Everything is shiny and bright. Who knew that something could be so clean and white? The common don’t live like this. We have never seen the City. It even smells clean. It is hard to be steady of my feet, but I try to keep up. She is talking to me about her day and how overworked we all are. I am out of place. Everyone will know. We pass others who are dressed like us. “Crap, I can’t find my card……did you happen to grab it in your apron when we were loading up?” Her eyes dart to my front pocket. Slip my hand in and pull out two cards. “Thank God. I would have been screwed if I lost that again!” This time her voice is loud enough for the security check to hear. He laughs, “you are always losing things….one day they are going to decide you are actually in the wrong group and send you to be studied!”

“Fuck off” she says back. They laugh. I am pretty sure they are joking around. Maybe they are friends? “Who’s the new girl?”

“In training! DeeDee say hello to Security Officer Mark. Mark meet DeeDee. He looks scary and all but if you get him on your good side, he sometimes looks the other way when you punch in a few minutes late!” More laughter. Flirting, I think.

“Hi DeeDee. Nice to meet you. Hopefully you are better at your job than Joyce here!” Pause…..what would be natural to do? “Th….(cough, need to clear my throat)…Thanks, nice to meet you too.” Smiles passed around. “Come on, I'll show you a great place to eat near the docks. Cheap food and even cheaper beer! Bye Mark….maybe we will see you there later when you get off your shift?”

“Sure thing Joyce!”

She holds her card and moves it under a scanner light. It flashes green and she moves ahead. I follow suit with my card, and I am through. I follow her down a staircase and past many people. We push through a set of doors, and we are outside. But not an outside I am familiar with. A massive dome overhead shields everyone from the sun and the sky. There is no air, it feels thin and fake. The outdoors is just as sparkly and sterile as it was inside the building. I am overwhelmed but try to keep up with her. We walk, she says hi here and there to people we pass. She tells me a joke and then laughs….I join in. It is a surreal act and I do not think I am delivering a very believable performance.

We get to a tunnel that leads down hill. We follow it, small talk continues. I answer her and play along as best I can. Fake laughter. Chit Chat. We turn a corner and as far as the eye can see is a glass wall. Mile upon mile long. And on the other side of that wall is ocean and shipyards. We are carefully sealed in on one side and access off land is safely secured on the other. “Let’s go, that place I was telling you about is just a little further”. Soon we reach a building and go in. It is a little darker in here, maybe a little less pretend feeling. “I am going to freshen up, why don’t you sit down and order yourself a drink and I’ll be right back”. She is gone and I take one of the chairs at the bar. Someone comes up to me and asks what I’d like. I have no clue how to answer. I have never seen a place like this before. Thinking……” your choice”, I say. It is the best I can come up with, but he smiles. Turns to pour something and places it in front of me. “Thank you”.

“You gotta watch yourself with Joyce there. She is a LOT so you better be prepared to keep up with her!” I laugh. She returns …”are you spreading rumours about me again?!”

Joyce and I sip our drinks. It's disgusting but I try to keep drinking it. “Why don’t you go use the bathroom quickly while I settle the bill? Then I'll meet you outside.” She says more with her eyes, a seriousness curtained behind her casual remark. I get up and walk to the bathrooms. Inside I splash water on my face, drink from the sink. Fresh running water just by twisting a knob. I am used to boiling every ounce I pull from the river in my encampment. A door opens behind me. I see a man standing in front of the toilet. Eyes dart to the main door to ensure we are alone. No speaking. No voices. He indicates with his finger and points towards the wall beside him. I step closer. He closes the stall door behind me. There is a secret opening in the wall that he has revealed. It leads to a chute going down. I can’t see where it goes or what is at the end. He indicates to get in. He avoids my eyes but places his hand on my head for one brief moment. It feels kind and soft. Maybe even apologetic. And then he pushes down, and I am moving fast. Falling. I hear the door close above me. Darkness and decent. It isn’t long and I crash onto the ground.

The timing to execute these escapes must be airtight. I do not know how they communicate with the others along each step of the way. And I am surprised by the sophistication and sheer numbers it must take to coordinate this all. How many people are putting their lives at risk today just to save me? We had not clue there were so many who wanted to help. So many who supported the Network. I am stunned for a moment and then realize I need to quickly get up and out of sight. I need to hide until I know the next step. I scramble up on my feet and move towards the side of the room I am in. It looks like a loading area. The walls are metal and there are containers lining the sides and in a row down the centre of the space. I read the markings on the containers and see food symbols. Row upon row of food. Where does it all come from? How can there be this much food in just one place? Taking it all in, I make sure I am up against a side wall, but I am not fully hidden. A door opens and someone comes out. It is a very big man, tall and muscled. His hands look like mitts. I can’t read the expression on his face. He scans the room. Looking. Is he here to help me or hurt me? I cannot know. I push myself back against the wall further, trying to sink into the shadows but he has seen me. He is moving towards me quickly. Still no indication of his intentions.

The final few steps are lunges. He reaches me quickly and puts his arms around me. It is a swift movement. The embrace is tight. Very tight. My feet are lifted off the floor. His rough hands touch my cheek. I recognize that hand. This is not an aggressive act. This is something else.

“It was me who found you and hid you on the train. It has taken me years to find you. So many near misses. When I got out of debriefing today I was hoping beyond all likelihood that I would find you here. I made it onto the ship just ahead of you and waited for the signal that you had been sent down to the loading bay”. I stare blankly. He starts up again. “You have no idea who I am do you? We need to go to my cabin, and I will explain it all to you. You must be so confused and scared.”

We walk freely down the corridors in this place. There is a different feeling. He isn’t hiding me. We turn into a room and the door closes behind us. I am invited to sit, given water and some fruit that I have never seen before. It is sweet and juicy, and I realize how hungry I am. I can’t remember the last time I ate something. He begins.

“We are from the City. For many generations we were part of the elite. We used to believe what they taught us. We fell for the idea of us and them, that we were entitled, and others weren’t. We grew up this way and never questioned it. And then she was pregnant. Births have dwindled here so the news was well received, and everyone congratulated us. Things seemed normal and we were happy. But she started to feel the changes quite quickly. She would soon confide in me that she could sense what food was fresh and what was starting to go bad. She could tell if the climate sensory had been set too high or if the filtration system needed cleaning. She could hear the work animals’ thoughts, their pain and discomfort with each day of toil. We told no one. We knew firsthand what would happen if it got out that an elite was going through changes. We had never heard of this happening before and knew they would instantly seize her to be studied. Then she told me that she had started to be able to communicate with the baby. She knew that the baby would also have these abilities and we began to formulate a plan then and there.

Keeping the baby safe was the most important thing in the world to us. We were going to wait out the pregnancy and after the birth would request a transfer to the Archipelago as Envoys. There were only a few positions each year from the Western Settlement to the Islands, but we were from good families, and were well known in the community. We applied and hoped we would be picked in the next round. From there we would disappear to the Oasis to live free.

During labour she began to bleed. They could not stop it and as she turned white and slipped away from me, she whispered ‘save her’. I was now left with a baby who I already knew was different, and the opportunity to get to the Islands was unlikely with a newborn in tow. I spent nights wondering what to do and it took me almost a year to develop a plan. I joined the science programme search team so that I would have access to the trains. I began taking you into the doctor with concerns of breathing issues and ailments so there was a record of you being sickly. I found out what drugs would make a baby sleepy but not hurt them. I planned a way to transport you without being detected. When I told the authorities you had died, they did an investigation of the records and there was plenty of documentation to support me. In the City, everyone who dies must be cremated and I ensured a recently deceased commoner baby was put into the flames instead of you. And then, on a routine run the next day, I smuggled you onto my train and dropped you off at a common woman’s house who was known to care for orphans and the abandoned. She knew very little apart from my name, and I told her I would be back one day. That was 16 years ago. It took me so much longer than I wanted, but I have you back now and we will be safe just like your Mum and I had intended all those years ago.”

Stunned. Silence. Shock. Disbelief.

He realized I wasn’t registering. “I am your Father. Your Mum died in childbirth. I hid you with the commons to give me time to devise a better plan to keep you safe for good. I created the Network and we started trying to save as many of you as we could. Our mandate is the young ones who are caught, but sometimes we are also able to safe the adults. We lose a lot of them. And over the years many of us have been captured and killed. All of this was to put me in the right place, at the right moment, to recapture you and escape this hell once and for all. We are on the rescue ship right now and are en route to the safety of the Oasis.”

That was three days ago. Many conversations and questions later and I have accepted my current situation. I may have been the first and only elite born with changes and my parents wanted to keep me safe. The Network was started in an effort to locate me and get me safely to a transfer boat. In the process they have been able to save many others. In an attempt to create a safe haven they secretly worked with the Archipelago, who find the system of elites in the Western Settlements barbaric, to create the Oasis. Off grid and hidden, it is a place for anyone who wants to live in peace. My Father had been working for years to make this happen and now we were on a direct shipment to the outskirts of the Oasis. Once landed we will make our way across the line and be free. For now, we were on a Network run boat and could relax until we reached the shore. We started getting to know each other. He shared many stories of my Mother. About their love and me in that first year of life before he had to feign grief at my loss.

*********

I lay in bed that night, my head spinning with thoughts. Maybe I am dead? Maybe I never got off that train and died in the darkness? Maybe they captured me, and this is a part of the torture? Maybe they drug us and create a narrative to keep us submissive and complaint? Maybe I was incinerated with the garbage and rags after all? Or maybe, just maybe, I was reunited with my Father, and we are on our way to bliss and peace and happily ever after?

It seems the least likely of the options but until we land, it is what I am choosing to believe.